h a l f b a k e r yWarm and Fussy
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One step Fart suppression
Anti-gas components built in to protein bars and drinks, prepared foods and dairy products for the lactose intolerant | |
Cow and and termite flatulence may threaten the earth's atmosphere; why add human gas to the mix? No longer will the "who smelt it dealt it" argument have to sour the mood of churches, funerals and other quiet gatherings. Anti-gas Japanese kombu sea vegetables, the herb epazote, anise seeds, coriander
seeds, or cumin could be added by food makers to canned, frozen, fresh and packaged toot producing foods - Beano could be licensed for the same use.
Additionally, anti-(edit- oops!)gas supplements could be offered on the menu as a loss leader or profit maker at restaurants serving high protein foods, sugar substitutes and dairy products. I feel this would be a big seller for singles on a dinner date.(1) Anti-gas pill emitting vending machines could be installed at gyms where high protein diet fueled reports are issued regularly during power lifts.
One more strike rings out against the decay of Mother Earth.
(1) Such additives would not be as appealing where married couples, long time partners, or Honey Boo Boo type families dine.
Fart Facts
http://www.heptune.com/farts.html
[UnaBubba, Feb 11 2013]
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//Additionally, gas could be offered on the menu as
a loss leader or profit maker at restaurants// Was
that what you meant to mean? |
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//strike rings out// Wait! People can blow rings?
So many skills to master, so little time. |
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There's a disturbing and growing fascination with
flatulence here, nowadays. |
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Is there really a growing problem with this, globally, as
more and more people consume Mexican, Middle Eastern
and American foods, thereby exacerbating global
warming? |
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But I already practice the Three Steps Fart Deniability system. |
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Simple Answer: "...It wasn't me..." |
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Considering that the average person drops about 0.5
litres of fart gas per day, that amounts to mostly air
unless you are a methane producer (1/3 of people fart
methane). |
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They're usually nowhere near as environmentally
destructive as you might think. |
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