Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Paper Shredder That Sounds Like It's Saying "YumYumYumYumYumYumYum"

Tune the motor / mechanism so it vaguely sounds like it's talking.
  (+8)(+8)
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The trick would be to just have the motor make the sound while doing its job, not having a recording of somebody actually saying "Yumyumyum" play which would just be stupid.

Motors create vibrations similar to vocal cords so that's not a problem, modulating the sound so it gives you the alternating "mmm" and "uhhh" sound with a "y" between them would be the tricky part.

It's important for people to "discover" that is sounds like it's saying this because that's what would delight them. They'd feel they found something that just happened by accident and delightedly call out to everybody in the office "Hey! Cmere! This paper shredder sounds like it's saying yumyumyum!"

On the other hand, if it actually played a clear recording of somebody saying "Yumyum" the'd be creeped out and wonder how much extra they paid for this stupid feature.

Next time you shred something listen to the sound it makes. Depending on your shredder it's halfway there already.

doctorremulac3, Dec 24 2020

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       Sure, as long as it looked like the manufacturer were oblivious to the similarities to a paper eating monster so it would have to be subtle.
doctorremulac3, Dec 24 2020
  

       If it eats Trump's tax returns, what would it say?
DenholmRicshaw, Dec 24 2020
  

       LOL. I'd buy one of those.
doctorremulac3, Dec 24 2020
  

       [DenholmRicshaw] Nothing, probably gagging and choking on all the lies.
blissmiss, Dec 24 2020
  

       By the way, this was inspired by my using a paper shredder that makes a pulsating sound like "urrrurrurrurrurr" like somebody growling so it seemed like it would be an easy tweak to anthropomorphize it a little.   

       What was I shredding? Guess nobody will ever know eh? Heh heh.
doctorremulac3, Dec 25 2020
  

       [+] This would sell!   

       Perhaps a cavity molded into the housing with a cammed covering ganged to the motor, similar to muting and unmuting a harmonica. The resultant cyclic sound might be tweaked to umm-umm-umm.
whatrock, Dec 25 2020
  

       You know what I'd do if I had the time? Send this out to a few engineering colleges and see if any students might want to take it on as an extra credit project.   

       I think the professor would be very impressed by the group that took the time and effort to figure this silly thing out and take the time to do it. Might be a goofy idea, but the solution would probably be a very clever bit of engineering. I would say the simpler the better. Might even make it a class competition.   

       An actual use for this crazy idea?
doctorremulac3, Dec 25 2020
  

       [+]
Voice, Dec 25 2020
  
      
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