Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Perfect Teeth

Digital clipart teeth library
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I routinely Photoshop out zits, blemishes, etc. from snapshots of family and friends. However, when my son had braces, there was not much I could do about it. What I really could have done with, and what would still be useful for all my British friends, is a clipart library of a perfect set of teeth, taken from every conceivable angle.

Then it would be a simple process of picking the correct angle, erasing the parts covered by the lips, correcting for any color cast in the photograph, and dropping them in.

DrCurry, Feb 26 2003

Now even Uncle Ernie can have a (digital) smile like this! http://www.cosmetic...m/images/smile1.jpg
[DrCurry, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Mr. Potato Head http://www.hasbropr...dn/view_product.cfm
Poseable. [Monkfish, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Custom Teeth http://www.makeupma...ils/CustomTeeth.cfm
[Amos Kito, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Yummy http://www.enexus.c.../graphics/Gums4.jpg
[thumbwax, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

comments about british teeth https://www.theguar...5753,-22429,00.html
hilarious [Loris, Apr 06 2017]


       manipulate the lips pursed together?   

       my dad went through hell deciding whether or not to buy school pics of me minus front teeth. they bought them :)
po, Feb 26 2003

       If you can take out zits, blemishes etc., why couldn't you photoshop out your son's braces?
my face your, Feb 26 2003

       mfy: if I could do that, I could draw the portraits myself and not rely on a camera.
DrCurry, Feb 26 2003

       Instead, people should get good, removeable fake teeth to wear at photo sessions. After all, pictures prevail, while your real, crooked teeth will eventually fall off.
Pericles, Feb 26 2003

snarfyguy, Feb 26 2003

       [DrCurry]: I think [his face your] just meant that for the traditional 'train track' braces you could simply colour on top of them - thats not much harder than doing zits.   

       [your face mine]: If teeth are out of place then you would have to be really good with photoshop, redrawing parts of the teeth to put them in the right place. In this case, 'off the shelf' clipart would be a big help.
Jinbish, Feb 26 2003

       How often do you have to replace braces in photos? If it comes up often enough to create this, it would be worth it for you to take the time to get good at 'shopping them out.
waugsqueke, Feb 26 2003

       //clipart library of a perfect set of teeth//
You also need lighting effects, as well as jaw positions (laughing w/mouth ajar). It could be a plug-in that works with your favorite photo software, allowing you to accurately place, color, and shade the teeth. Even form and position individual teeth, for photos of British royalty.
Amos Kito, Feb 26 2003

       I would never have thought of editing braces out of a photo. As much as mine are costing, I'd like to have as many mementos of them as possible.
half, Feb 26 2003

       Indeed, enhance them rather than cover them up! Make them look like they're made of gold or something.
phoenix, Feb 26 2003

       is everyone going to leave the obvious brit (bad teeth) stereotype alone on this one? "...and what would still be useful for all my brittish friends"
marymalibu, Feb 26 2003

       I was about to say, Marymalibu.
The proper thing, to show your lad's gene pool properly, would be to photoshop your and/or your wife's teeth into his portrait. Assuming you still have yours.
roby, Feb 26 2003

       [Pericles] Instead of removable false teeth, howabout a laminated colour photo of teeth stuck in the mouth? In a group picture, you'd never know the difference!
Cedar Park, Feb 27 2003

       marymalibu: that's an in-joke, if you know who's British on this site.
DrCurry, Feb 27 2003

       We don't know why, but we find this idea strangely disturbing. While we can see the rationale behind it, and on the surface it seems harmless enough, we can't help but think that it's just going to feed the sick fantasies of tooth fetishists.   

       Does anyone know if there are such things as tooth fetishists ? We're not sure if we even want to know the answer to that question .....
8th of 7, Feb 27 2003

       An alternative. Simply get everybody to suck on an orange segment as they smile. That way, everybody's smile is orange.
PeterSilly, Feb 27 2003

       DrCurry can do this with a camera and a volunteer that has good choppers. Camera on tripod with flat lighting. Sit volunteer in a chair and rotate a bit at a time and take many pictures. Make your own teeth library.
lummox, Feb 27 2003

The Kat, Feb 27 2003

       ... followed by furious editing.
PeterSilly, Feb 28 2003

       Other options..."lip extensions"? Hmmm, fake smile white-out?
DickWeed, Feb 28 2003

       //..my British friends..//
//..american...culturally and fashionably identical teeth.//
Jinbish, Mar 02 2003

       //is everyone going to leave the obvious brit (bad teeth) stereotype alone on this one? "...and what would still be useful for all my brittish friends"//   

       This spurred me to investigate, and it seems that british teeth are on average less white and less regular, but healthier.
Americans get more cosmetic work done, while british dentistry is primarily about dental health.

       sources - I looked at a few articles, an enormous page of comments, and found some stats.   

       The statistic is "average number of decayed, missing or filled teeth at age 12", from the OECD.
In 2004, which is the last year for which values are available for both US and UK, they were 1.3 and 0.7 respectively. They were about on par in the early 90's, with the UK value on a steeper downwards trajectory (and was worse than USA in the 80's, but there is no earlier data for the USA).

       The comments(page linked) are fascinating - they vary greatly in tone. But it seems to me that a significant proportion of those saying british teeth are worse are essentially judging whiteness. Since whitening teeth can make them unnaturally white (but no healthier), I think American perception of teeth is basically locked in an arms-race for whiteness.
I wonder whether it's possible to use the stuff which is put in washing powder to make clothes 'whiter than white' (which converts UV to visible light) on teeth.

       (disclaimer - I am british, and my teeth are reasonably healthy but a bit crooked and yellow. Canalising slightly at the front. I have one small filling - required because apparently I had been brushing too hard. Oh, and I had to have all of my wisdom teeth removed because they were buggering off in the wrong direction, crunkling up the other teeth and not emerging at all.)
Loris, Apr 06 2017

       The big difference between British teeth and that of those in the colonial backwater lies in their respective abilities to form the spoken word. With American teeth, due to many decades of the sucking and chewing of rotten gm chemical laden and sugar saturated food, the jaws have simultaneously slackened and deformed. The teeth, being opportunistic, have naturally migrated and expanded to fill the resulting contorted new spaces. These new mouth interiors severely limit the way words are formed, causing at least 75% of the English language to be either inaccessible or when attempted to emerge as a type of primeval chomping gibberish. The good news is that time spend in Blighty, being fed on a diet of fish, chips and mushy peas and normality is soon restored.
xenzag, Apr 06 2017

       Bite your tongue :-)   

       Nice smile, isn't it ?
normzone, Apr 06 2017

       //I had to have all of my wisdom teeth removed // That must have been an ordeal. I saw what was involved and decided to have someone else's wisdom teeth removed instead. It was much less painful.
MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 06 2017

       At my request, all of my other teeth were removed, except the wisdom teeth, as they were impacted and needed more room. I had lego implants installed to replace the missing molars. They're not great for eating, but I can easily climb up the side of the giant lego giraffe in Berlin, using nothing more than my teeth.
xenzag, Apr 06 2017

       ////I had to have all of my wisdom teeth removed////
//That must have been an ordeal.//

       It wasn't so bad in itself because it was under general anaesthetic. Felt nowt.   


       ... well they wanted an early start and there is some prep, so I spent the night beforehand in the ward. There was a room with a TV, but no TV guide. I switched it on, flicked through the channels and saw, without warning, a closeup of someone's impacted wisdom teeth being removed, complete with hammers, chisels and prying bar.
I decided it was a good thing I'm quite thick-skinned, turned it off and went to bed.

       When I woke up after the operation, I thought I was really thirsty - the roof of my mouth was so dry. But they won't let you drink for an hour.
But when I eventually did get some water, I realised I wasn't thirsty, my mouth was just caked, centimeters deep with congealed blood. So I scooped it out with some tissue and vomited up the rest.
Then a bit of rest and recuperation and I was fine.
Loris, Apr 07 2017

MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 07 2017

       When I got mine out, I woke up in the recovery room, spent maybe half an hour there under observation, and then my mom took me home. I only used about half of the crazy-strong Tylenol pills they gave me over the next few days. Minimal bleeding. The second-worst part was feeling the holes in my gums with my tongue. The worst was the cotton packings.
notexactly, Apr 07 2017

       [marymalibu] got her account back in February of 2003, annotated on a grand total of nine ideas, but never posted any of her own. The username does have some artifacts on instagram and myspace.
normzone, Apr 08 2017

       Where is the great DrCurry?
xenzag, Apr 08 2017

       There are a couple of Dr. Currys in San Diego, and a Spanish movie of the same name from 1997.
normzone, Apr 11 2017

       So, not a very thin, pixel display, mouth guard.
wjt, Apr 13 2017


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