Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
No serviceable parts inside.

idea: add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random

meta: news, help, about, links, report a problem

account: browse anonymously, or get an account and write.



Poetic Answering Machine

Translates and recites your phone messages as poetry
  (+5, -2)
(+5, -2)
  [vote for,

Wonderful, this answering machine be, It recites messages, as poetry, It takes their words and makes a haiku, With 17 styles, just for you.

A song, a ballad, or maybe an ode, It all depends on the chosen mode, A limerick, a sonnet, or maybe blank verse, And best of, no need to rehearse.

With Shakespeare and cummings, don't forget Frost, A guarentee of no messages lost, Eliot and Langston, also E. A. Poe, Just leave your message, you're ready to go.

DesertFox, Feb 25 2005

The dialectizer http://rinkworks.co...Carpet%231109272510
A sample of the technology, used for dialects. Modifiable for poetry. [DesertFox, Feb 25 2005]

Telephone Poetry http://www.sd35.bc....v8poettelephone.htm
[skinflaps, Feb 25 2005]


       WIBNI. But it would be really, really nice.
wagster, Feb 25 2005

       So please let me see if I understand
It plays message greetings in rhyme, that's your plan?
Or does this device, without nary a bow
Rhyme the actual voicemails? And if so, tell me how?
theircompetitor, Feb 25 2005

       It uses a program to make other people's messages into poetry. The technology is available, using grammar rules and such.
DesertFox, Feb 25 2005

       Heh, that link I posted.I'm confused.   

       Why not?
skinflaps, Feb 25 2005

       Oh dear, here we go again,   

       DesertFox and his magic plan.   

       He yells"the technology exists!   

       and slams his keyboard with his fists.   

       Hello, Mr. Fox, this is officer Hound   

       we've got your son locked in the pound.   

       For magic he did try to bake,   

       for all the rules he likes to break.   

       His bail is such an oddity,   

       100 fish will set him free.   

dentworth, Feb 25 2005

       The technology is right behind the link. What it does is split up the sentence, based on word types and grammar rules, and repositions them and finds synonyms that rhyme. Easily bakeable.
DesertFox, Feb 25 2005

       I tried the link, DF. it is amazing! but you can have the poem for free. +
dentworth, Feb 25 2005

       Thanks. What's the prize for poetry? Not Nobel or Pulitzer. Or Grammy. I don't remember. But you get one.
DesertFox, Feb 25 2005

       From a book on language that I was given as a child (forty-something years ago):
"Only man can write poems or plays or stories. If you don't believe that, here is a sample verse turned out by a thinking machine named RPC 4000 after it was ''taught'' how to compose poetry :
That sweet moustache's Bill behind a clod did bump.
Lastly, its teeth were broad and plump."
If your machine could produce verse like that, I'd buy it.
angel, Feb 26 2005

       It might be fun to hear your incoming phone messages translated into dialect. (using the dialectizer, speech recognition, and text-to-speech). Dialect translation would be a bit easier to achieve than versification.
robinism, Feb 26 2005

       Messages, obscene
Might upset your machine
And may even totally confuse it.

It may have trouble
Rhyming c*nt with f*ckable
And prick with cock and clit.
Ling, Feb 26 2005

       Dear SBC user
We mean no abuse, but
Please pay us as soon as you can.

       You just probably forgot,
But if you do not,
You shall be dropped from our plan.
RayfordSteele, Feb 26 2005

       What you would need to do this is Speech-to-Text, extensive grammar rules programming, a built in thesaurus (for synonyms) and a text to speech program.   

       It uses the grammar rules to split up the sentence into parts, rearanges it into a standardized for of poetry, finds synonyms to make the words rhyme, and the it recites to you. It doesn't come up with abything new, it just rearranges the message into poetry form.
DesertFox, Feb 26 2005

       [robinism] Have you ever listened to Glaswegian over the phone, let alone on an answering machine? At one time, it took me an hour to be able to tell the lady who left a message was actually telling us that the gas inspection was next tuesday...
froglet, Feb 26 2005

       What is it of this   

       so captivating?   

       the spirit flies so   

       when halfbaking.   

       like schwartzeneggars walls   

       get your crazy ass to Mars.
Zimmy, Feb 27 2005


back: main index

business  computer  culture  fashion  food  halfbakery  home  other  product  public  science  sport  vehicle