The Parrot Umbrella - or Polly Brolly, if you will - has a mechanical parrot instead of a handle. (The parrot is modelled on that finest of breeds, the Norwegian Blue.)
The parrot sits on your shoulder, holding on with his claws (which are rubber-tipped, for your comfort). The stem of the umbrella
sticks out from his head, and you can adjust the angle of said head to position the umbrella perfectly for your needs. With your parrot balancing your umbrella for you, your hands are free for briefcase-clutching, lover's-hand-holding, cutlass-wielding, and the like.
When you are walking into a stiff breeze, the parrot will flap his wings to keep steady.
Each Polly Brolly comes with two umbrella tops that can be inserted into the parrot's head: one large enough to protect two people, and a smaller one for when you're out on your own (although once you own a Polly Brolly, that'll be rare, as friends and lovers flock to walk by your side, attracted by your fine choice in fashion).
Optionally, you can also turn your parrot on by pressing the button concealed between his legs: doing so causes him to parrot typically parrotical remarks at irregular intervals. The Deluxe model can even be voice-trained. When the umbrella is folded over the parrot, of course, he goes to sleep.
The Polly Brolly provides perfect protection from the rain, and can also be used as a parrotsol. So, when it comes to umbrellas, don't be Norman Normal - get a Polly Brolly!