Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Porn Money

Solve Inflation Forever
  (+8, -14)(+8, -14)
(+8, -14)
  [vote for,

Why spend money on porn, when the money itself could be porn? Who wants to look at old dead heads of state?

Now that most countries are off the gold standard, money doesn't really have any intrinsic value. If we print naked chicks on dollar bills however, money will again be worth *something*, and inflation will be eliminated forever:

"Five dollars for a gallon of milk? Nah, I think I'll just stay home and jerk off."

Call it the porn standard. Make countries put pictures of their own women on their money and you establish an exchange rate that actually means something. Brazil , Venezuala and Sweden would become superpowers while the economies of the Arab nations would collapse (though I suppose they could have the money in some sort of protective covering.) And California would secede from the US!

spammusubi, Sep 07 2002

German porn money. (Intended as a joke.) http://www.ananova....ory/sm_1760580.html
300, 600, and 1000 "Teuro" notes. ("Teuro" is a composite of "teuer", expensive, and Euro, relating to the general inflation that set in during the Euro's introduction. What does that have to do with porn? Beats me.) [jutta, Mar 27 2006, last modified May 18 2007]

And the same thing with coins, EURO -> EROS http://www.eroscoins.com/eros2002.html
Mouse over the coins to see something more explicit than just a map with an edited-in erect penis. [jutta, Mar 27 2006, last modified Mar 28 2006]

Roman brothel token http://www.museumre...uk/images/no261.jpg
Rome had state run brothels and they printed many different versions of these. (NSFW) [sartep, Mar 30 2006]

More background no pictures http://cas.umkc.edu...apers/kurke_rev.htm
[sartep, Mar 30 2006]

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       Why naked chicks? Why not naked guys?
bristolz, Sep 07 2002

       Naked guys? Are you some kind of anarchist trying to cause a world-wide economic meltdown? Not even chicks like to look at naked guys. (At least not the ones who have seen *me* naked. )
spammusubi, Sep 07 2002

       apparently 90% or a significantly high percentage of chicks are bi anyway.
Gulherme, Sep 07 2002

       hey Gulherme, you make that up yourself?
Wraith, Sep 07 2002

       I'd say his girlfriend told him that right before she broke up with him as a way of letting him down easy.
Helium, Sep 07 2002

       Would counterfeit currency be those with a transvestite printed on them? Of course the UK already has queens on their coins.
FarmerJohn, Sep 07 2002

       Hey it's just the facts.
Gulherme, Sep 07 2002

       yes, and the moon is made of green cheese.
bristolz, Sep 07 2002

       I would post a link but I cant be bothered sorting though all the porn.
Gulherme, Sep 07 2002

       Hello, [H2S04]. Welcome to the half bakery.
BigBrother, Sep 07 2002

       // I would post a link but I cant be bothered sorting though all the porn. //   

       If your "facts" are coming from a porn site, then I would seriously doubt that they have any scientific basis whatsoever. In fact, I would expect that some porn pedaler is deliberately misrepresenting (read: bold face lie) the facts in hopes of attracting a greater number of horny men to their site. Apparently the porn industry pushes a disproportionate amount of "lesbian" action because they figured out that most men don't want to see naked men and "lesbian" scenes feature twice as many naked women. I doubt many of the women featured are sincerely interested in other women, but it probably pays well.
BigBrother, Sep 07 2002

       Oh and a fishbone to [spammusubi] for advancing the practice of stripping people (yeah, lame pun) of their humanity and treating them as sexual objects. I prefer my sexual encounters to have personality, feelings, thoughts, dreams, aspirations, and the capacity for a meaningful relationship with other human beings.
BigBrother, Sep 07 2002

       Hello, [spammusubi]. Welcome to the Halfbakery.
As this is your first idea I'll let you off, but most things are far less bad, to put it bluntly. Don't worry, I'm sure you'll learn - I did! (ask anyone)
NickTheGreat, Sep 07 2002

       //apparently 90% or a significantly high percentage of chicks are bi anyway// I thought he meant the little yellow feathery ones.   

       don't ask me about Nick, never seen him before in my life.
po, Sep 07 2002

       I second bristolz's first anno. It would give a whole new meaning to the phrase "pink pound".
Guy Fox, Sep 07 2002

       It won't help the rate of National Savings, if it encourages people to 'blow their wad'.
pfperry, Sep 07 2002

       Has anyone considered that we probably won't be legally allowed to distribute money to under-16/18's if this system is brought in? Nice - solve inflation by cutting out a huge section of the marketplace.
<o-t>Don't you find it odd that the legal age for sex is 16, yet you can't buy porn until you're 18? Not that I've tried either....</o-t>

       pfp: have we really sunk to such awful puns?
NickTheGreat, Sep 07 2002

       ummm... i dont mean to create a stir here... but have u seen any arab babes? heck, "the arabian nights" are solely based on the beauty of arab babes!   

       and anyway, beauty is, after all, "in the eyes of the beholder"; so i dont think every person would prefer honey on their money.   

       It *is* a pretty innovative idea, though.
joker_of_the_deck, Sep 07 2002

       Aww, bliss - what a horrible life you have to lead.
NickTheGreat, Sep 07 2002

       <joker> beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Gulherme, Sep 08 2002

       Actually this idea already has been baked - sort of - in the BBC 'Bottom' series. Eddie forged money:   

       Richie: Eddie! A. The Queen doesn't have jugs, she's Royalty. And B. If she did, she certainly wouldn't get them out on the back of a fiver. Certainly not, she'd save 'em up for the fifty.   

       Eddie: If you care to have a look at my fifty, I think you'll find it a might more risque. [Takes one of the notes that was pegged up drying and hands it to Richie]   

       Richie: Oh! Goh! Sheesh! That's disgusting!   

       Eddie: Aha, I know!   

       Richie: Ogh! Eddie! That's tantamount to treason! How can you expect to pass off these pornographic doodles as real money? Especially when you see what the duke of Edinburgh's up to on the back of the tenner.... [twists his head around] Who's that with him?   

       Eddie: Meryl Streep!   

       Richie: [Makes his pervy noise of appreciation] Hang on, she's got three knockers!   

       Eddie: No, that's Bobby Charlton in the middle.   

       Spudgun: Nice one.
mrcorner, Sep 08 2002

       that would be half-baked, mr corner. But I do have proof that they are baked. A friend sent me a set of doctored euro-notes with various young ladies in states of undress.. I'm not quite sure that it would be the right thing to post them here though.. - thoughts?
yamahito, Sep 08 2002

       More like "sexism standard". Fishbone.
Saruman, Dec 13 2004

       The phrase; 'Crisp five pound note' would never be quite the same again. [-]
zen_tom, Dec 13 2004

       At the moment 4 of 5 bills carry traces of cocaine. I wouldn't be surprised if 4/5 porn-bills carried traces of something else entirely.
Loris, Dec 13 2004

       This may be two years too late, but if the offer's still open I for one would like to see the Euro notes, [yamahito].
spacemoggy, Dec 13 2004

       This may also be two years late, but see link for the newest version of what appears to be a recurring meme - someone in Germany mints obviously fake porn euro bills (before, in 2002, to advertise a party); but, as it turns out, not obviously fake enough. Although the only source of the most recent installment of this seems to be a single, widely re-reported, article from ananova.com - I think something this dumb would have made it into German media other than via ananova if it were real.
jutta, Mar 27 2006

       wasn't there loads of outrage from Norway that their country appeared on the Euro coins looking like a penis? Maybe someone at Euro HQ already had this idea...
daaisy, Mar 28 2006

       The Romans had sex coins. Coins that were traded but could be redeemed for the sexual act pictured on the coin. Not widely known now but in some form baked 2000 years ago.
sartep, Mar 29 2006

       How weird. Got a quote or reference for that?
jutta, Mar 29 2006

       bad idea, cuz some ppl are offended by porn. Including me.
FireElf, Aug 02 2006

       You'll also be able to drastically cut down on mooches... nobody want's to borrow sticky money.
ye_river_xiv, Aug 03 2006

       I've changed my mind, I quite like this idea today [+].
zen_tom, Jun 22 2007

       Next thing you know, we'll be electing porn stars to political office ... [+]
nuclear hobo, Jun 22 2007

       Interesting idea.. What would be the equivalent mickey mantle card I wonder?   

       Will they offer money where the girl strips as you turn the money to a certain angle?
IdeallyFourWord, Jun 23 2007

       //bad idea, cuz some ppl are offended by porn.//   

       Apparently poor people would be offended by porn and rich people would be addicted to it if this system ever came about. The thing about porn is that it's free, and this system would never come about because then money would become worthless too. You're absolutely right, some people would rather look at portraits of 200~300 year old dead presidents than yesterday's coked out sex-binge when they are putting their money in the collection plate hoping for next week's good luck.
quantum_flux, Jun 23 2007

       I see [spammusubi] stuck around then...
wagster, Jun 23 2007


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