Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Postal fees by banality

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Whilst working on a system of charging mail by the weight of the customer for no particular reason, I decided it was a stupid idea.

Then I thought about a scheme for charging by the lengths of words, until I gave up.

So, instead postage fees by banality. Anything that is astoundingly boring, like invitations to sign up for a gym costs a lot to send, whereas Bohr's letters to Heisenberg would go free gratis.

In order to assess the postal cost, each item will be opened in the post office and read by a panel of philosophers, scientists and writers, who then debate its relative merits and come up with an appropriate costing, possibly in less than a day.

In this way, the front door mat will be less cluttered as only things of actual interest would be delivered and it would also provide regular employment for philosophers and writers.

not_morrison_rm, Apr 26 2013

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       Totally agree - however, I am concerned for your panel of philosophers, scientists and writers - who, after reading the umpteenth invitation to spend money on some shit or other might just give up and start charging increasingly arbitrary and bizarrely determined sums of money. [+] anyway
zen_tom, Apr 26 2013
  

       //charging increasingly arbitrary and bizarrely determined sums of money   

       Oh, that's simple. All negotiations about raising their fees has to be done by post.
not_morrison_rm, Apr 26 2013
  

       Yes, otherwise it's at a loose-end philosophers all over the place doing parcour. Or possibly no, as the iCtedium app is under development.
not_morrison_rm, Apr 26 2013
  

       I don't think this would have the intended effect at all, as advertisers would quickly find a way around it by offsetting their commercial messages with meaningful works. Instead of getting simple, easy to discard fliers, you'd get copies of Kant and Descartes stuffed with restaurant coupons and ads for window treatments. Maybe “The Origin of Species” sponsored by Turtle Wax.
ytk, Apr 26 2013
  

       Boredom fascinates me though.
nineteenthly, Apr 26 2013
  

       Kind of cute idea but each post office would have to hire a panel which would end up being rather expensive to start with. The idea would fold on itself.
xandram, Apr 26 2013
  

       //you'd get copies of Kant and Descartes stuffed with restaurant coupons and ads for window treatments   

       Sounds like a win to me.   

       // would have to hire a panel which would end up being rather expensive to start with   

       People who work, get paid at the end of the month, so no money to put up-front. Also they get paid by cheque, by post.
not_morrison_rm, Apr 26 2013
  
      
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