Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Prepare for the Glass Ban

What to do when you've nothing to drink from.
  [vote for,

Carrying on their fine tradition of stupid suggestions, the Irish government is discussing banning glasses and glass bottles in pubs and clubs "for safety reasons". Sounds silly, doesn't it, but I thought a just-in-case plan would be pertinent.

I envision a row of scaled-down petrol-pump style devices, complete with digital readout. When you want a drink, a disposable nozzle (available from the bar staff) is placed over the tip of the 'gun' of the pump. Proceeding to pump booze of the chosen brand, the digital display will let you know how much you're drinking and how much it costs.

Payment can be made as normal to the barstaff or optionally your credit card can be placed in a device attached to the pump, automatically charging as you drink.

It may have an unfortunate effect on the stout industry, but the price of democracy is morons in office.

Asbestos, Apr 12 2006

scottish not irish http://news.bbc.co....cotland/4789590.stm
[po, Apr 12 2006]

(?) But mostly Irish http://archives.tcm.../story119081862.asp
[Asbestos, Apr 13 2006]


       craic-ed glass is dangerous   

       a ban on glass makes sense when they are left willy nilly on common land. its been like that for years on clapham common.   

       asbestos can be a problem too. just saying.
po, Apr 12 2006

       Maybe I've been out of the bar scene for too long, but...   

       Are the patrons THROWING the bottles to create the hazard?   

       Do people drink so much that they bash themselves on the head with said bottles?   

       Oregon took care of the bottle litter by imposing a 5¢ deposit on every bottle. It's a great way for the homeless to maintain an income and there are rarely any bottles left along the roadside. Also, bar owners are sure to take the bottles from patrons after they have drunk their fill.   

       I don't understand the problem, so I can't vote on the solution. Neutral vote.
Klaatu, Apr 12 2006

       [jscott] You forgot this -> (   

       It goes somewhere; you have two ) and only on (. Syntax, SYNTAX!!!
DesertFox, Apr 12 2006

       I hope the missing ( will suddenly make it all clearer to me.   

       /So when I need to get a cold traveller out of the car I throw it into the grass next to a stop sign or something to be retrieved by me later. No, I'm not driving over the legal limit. I'm just pretending (until I get rid of the evidence) that Michigan doesn't have open intox laws)./   

Texticle, Apr 13 2006

       [UnaBubba]- 472 stitches? My God, how horrible. Do you know how it all turned out? Is the girl okay? Did they at least peel the skin off the guy's face, slowly?
NotTheSharpestSpoon, Apr 13 2006

       If you take away people's responsibilities, you create irresponsible people. Glass is not the problem, it's people, they must be dealt with.   

       This nanny-state behaviour raises nothing but brain-fuddled idiots, incapable of developing their own ethical standpoint because they rely too heavily on the state's.   

       The injuries from these incidents can be very serious, I've been on the recieving end myself, but it's a symptom, not a problem.   

       Let's go crazy; if we want to stop this behaviour, first ban alcohol, then ban people.   

       Po, it's only dangerous if you inhale...
Asbestos, Apr 13 2006

       As [po] has pointed out, the ludicrous suggestion has already been implemented in Glasgow. Currently it extends to bottles - with glasses following suit by next year:   

       The nightmare scenario was reached at approximately 23.05 hundred hours on the night of March 24. A matter of food and beverage provisioning, of t he most urgent kind, arose during a long walk home. "The Philidelphia Fish & Chicken Bar" represented the only waypoint and possibility for sustenance. Upon entering the chip shop I ordered standard issue chip-based meal. As it was prepared I continued my order by asking for a bottle of Cream Soda. To this question my server's head went down, shaking as he looked at his feet.
"Sorry - we can't sell you them"...

       I could go on with this tedious anecdote.. suffice to say that I was denied a bottle of pop.   

       Another strange symptom is the pouring of a popular brand of bottled cider into 2 serving glasses (a pint and then a small tumbler). This, in effect, provides the potential assailant with two glasses instead of one bottle.
Jinbish, Apr 13 2006

       Baked. A Clockwork Orange.   

       I'd go along with the 'ban alcohol' Idea -- that's pretty original, this whole thread reports on a knee-jerk, typical, and impotent attempt to please someone whilst letting the paying masses off easy.
reensure, Apr 13 2006

       No, shards of plastic can be as shivs. How about all drinks being served in juice boxes? Wait, you could still put someone's eye out with that little straw . . .
YoDaveG, Apr 13 2006

       Next they'll be banning glass windows on health and safety grounds. Treat people like kids and they'll behave like them.
DrBob, Apr 13 2006

       In the Netherlands it is not allowed to serve drinks in glass during big events like carnaval or soccer matches. There is significantly less blood spilled that way. And the plastic glasses are indistructible to the point you drive over them in a car and they are still ok. Was tested naturally.   

       About this idea: I like the idea of having to pay exactly what you drink. If you can see the meter running while you gulp it down I think you would choke before you had a chance to get drunk.
zeno, Apr 13 2006

       Should there also be a ban on fists?   

       "Please have your hands tied at the door, nozzle inserted into mouth, drink til you drown or fall down. Have a nice evening."
xandram, Apr 13 2006

       [UB]'s point is hard to ignore. Personally, I think drinks out of plastic don't taste as nice, and I resent the idea that my quiet Sunday lunchtime pint could be... well, not ruined, but made less pleasant... because of people I don't know and will (hopefully) never meet who use it as a weapon at 3am on a Saturday.   

       Couldn't something be written into a pub/club's license? I know several places which aren't allowed glasses after a certain time of night. That always seemed a good idea.
moomintroll, Apr 13 2006

       Our management stopped using glass for 'safety' (never had a break, did have thrown drinks rarely) and stopped plastic for (get this) a strong uptick in patron complaints that 'someone spit in this' (never happened).   

       The cups are now styrofoam, paper was making a mess.
reensure, Apr 13 2006

       I once saw a guy break up a beer mug, swallow all the pieces, then regurgitate a whole pint glass again, only this time full of moths orbiting a tiny red light bulb... Plastic glasses would never stop this sort of person from upsetting everyone else with this type of anti-reality behaviour.
xenzag, Apr 13 2006

       he he
zeno, Apr 14 2006

       //Despite [Asbestos]'s rabid protests that denial of glass is going to destroy what's left of civilisation in his country after the Irish diaspora, I reiterate that taking glass away from drunken fuckwits is a good idea. It denies them a ready weapon.//   

       Inferring that I expected the downfall of civilisation is a bit much, no? And as you readily make clear, the problem is not glasses but 'drunken fuckwits', and sometimes people on speed.   

       If a house is on fire, it's best to quench the flame, not use a fan to disperse the smoke.
Asbestos, Apr 14 2006

       Would pyrex be allowable?
Zimmy, Apr 14 2006

       UB, the place you worked clearly had a problem. Not that I'm suggesting your place is the ONLY place to have such a problem. It would certainly benefit from plastic glasses.   

       The problem is that not ALL places suffer from this problem. What about restaurants with bar licenses? I've worked in countless such restaurants, and very civilised, courteous places they were too. I think it can safely be asserted that no such ban is required here. And I also believe that drinking wine or champagne out of a plastic beaker somehow hampers the pleasure of the experience.   

       The trouble with such a law, is that whilst it might be necessary in some places, it's not appropriate in ALL places. Introducing manatory all over bans is inappropriate. It would make more sense to leave it to the discretion of individual establishments.   

       But anyway, on the subject of the invention, which seems to have been a little overlooked, I love it! I'd love drinks to be served like this even if there wasn't a glass ban! Although I think it might be a bit dangerous for my bank account. At least at a petrol pump, you're not getting increasingly drunk and less responsible as the price increases.
daaisy, Apr 14 2006


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