Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Professional Drowners

How good are your public pools' lifeguards?
  (+6, -1)
(+6, -1)
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Great summer consultancy work for a couple of enterprising youth. Contract with pool managers to fake drownings. Would only require a breathing device that couldn't be seen on a face-down "victim" and some means of timing the lifeguards' responses. Could also entail something to keep a breathing person at the bottom of a pool (instead of floating). Favorable reports could be good marketing material while negative reports could help pinpoint some problem areas.
bylaw, Jun 28 2001


       I could see this working, as long as liability and insurance sorts of considerations were taken into account. A similar sort of drill: Fire departments in my region sometimes burn abandoned buildings (with the consent of the owners) and have the fire crew respond to the 'emergency' as if to a real one; until they reach the site only the fire chief knows that's it's a staged event.   

       Wicked bad: get a lifelike store mannikin, preferably one that has softish 'flesh.' Sneak into a pool facility after hours with some underwater adhesive and glue the mannikin to the bottom of the pool about 3 meters deep.
Dog Ed, Jun 28 2001

       It's already done in most pools and waterparks, in fact, the guards are often video taped and scored. There are even cases where the "victim" has been known to jump off the diving board when the guard isn't really looking and slap it with his hands to simulate a head injury...you should see the panic when the guards hear that sound and don't see the person surface...heh
kre, Jun 28 2001

       I see you being drowned under a flood of lawsuits for emotional distress.
DrBob, Jun 28 2001

       This is similar to a task that my brother (who works for an airline) got to do. Once, when he checked in, and they determined that he was an airline employee, he was given a fake bomb by a security officer to tuck in his carry-on. It was kind of fun to watch as he went through the security check and see the expression on the poor girl's face as she watched the x-ray monitor. She motioned for her supervisor and they had my brother open his bag. The look of relief on their faces when they read 'Property of XXX airlines. Security Testing" was as comical as their looks of terror. Great fun. No lawsuits of emotional distress. Just part of the job.
bylaw, Jun 29 2001

       But the subtle difference, bylaw, is that only the airline employees knew what was happening. In a public swimming pool you're going to have a lot of people there who think that they're watching someone drown.
DrBob, Jun 30 2001

       you see, bylaw, in my mafia, we do have a proffessional drowning department. you uh, need some service??   

       What if a terrorist stuck a label on a real bomb that said "Property of XXX airlines. Security Testing"?
FloridaManatee, Dec 30 2002

       //What if a terrorist stuck a label on a real bomb that said "Property of XXX airlines. Security Testing"?//   

       I doubt they let [bylaw]'s brother keep the bomb, so it wouldn't allow a terrorist to get a bomb on board. Proper procedure would be to ask him for his ID to prove he works for an airline and only let the airline personnel carry the test bomb. Anyone who does not have proper ID and is carrying a "test" bomb is detained and investigaged.
GenYus, Jan 15 2004


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