Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Radial implosion suicide vest

In search of efficiency
  [vote for,

A thorough examination of the available data, including a large number of plastic evidence bags containing a wide range of organic and inorganic fragments, suggests that current products in the marketplace are badly engineered and woefully inefficient.

There is an unacceptably asymmetric dispersion of the pressure wave with resultant loss of focus.

So, motivated entirely by a spirit of altruism and unselfish concern for others (NO, our account has NOT been hacked), we have designed a suicide vest for your 21st century.

The BorgCo device is much slimmer and lighter than existing designs. Building on the familiar technology of explosive lenses, our "SqueezaVest" is a quantum leap forwards, or more precisely upwards. Using a precisely timed network of high speed detonators, and triple-redundant sequencing, the vest produces a radial implosion, converting the wearer into a vertical jet of homogenized organic material.

Importantly, there is almost no horizontal dispersion. The gas bubble is small, and most of the energy is efficiently absorbed in generating the "toothpaste-tube" effect, meaning that bystanders are - providing they have consumer-grade eye and ear protection - at no risk of anything more than minor injury.

We intend that these devices should be produced by a crowdfunded initiative which we will be delighted to manage for a very modest administrative fee, and given away free to anyone who asks for one. The vest will be tightly fitted, locked in place, and the wearer ejected forcefully from the premises before the timer runs down to zero.

8th of 7, Mar 25 2018


       Um.. ^ [holds up hand], so what happens if they decide they want to be lying down in a nice comfy horizontal position when they detonate it?
Skewed, Mar 25 2018

       When they tip more than 15 degrees from the vertical, "shit happens".
8th of 7, Mar 25 2018

       Did I miss a bit about an attitude sensor in the body text that achieves that or is it a new "refinement" subsequent to my comment :)
Skewed, Mar 25 2018

       This is just a pitch to crowdfunders, the full specs are a 2605-page PDF file including the full design drawings at A0 (1:1) scale.   

       You can download it from the website. E&OE.
8th of 7, Mar 25 2018

       This is an excellent idea. Can there be a prize for whoever catches the head?
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 25 2018

       May I have the details of the ejection device with <15% tilt?
Voice, Mar 25 2018

       //You can download it from the website. E&OE.//   

       Really, I would have thought a hobby site like Erotic & Orgasmic Explosions was a little low brow for serious proposals.. but whatever floats your boat I suppose.
Skewed, Mar 25 2018

       //Radial implosion suicide vest// Sp.: "radical", shirley?
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 25 2018


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