Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Ragtime Machine Gun

Or adjustable
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For gangster rappers, a machine gun that fires in ragged time. I think the time signature for swing time is either 6/8 or 3/4 or just think a machine gun that fires on the ones and threes and skips two, so that you can sing along with it if you were to want to sing for instance Blue Monk while you were shooting the gun.
JesusHChrist, Dec 02 2011

Machine Gun http://www.youtube....watch?v=00PdHIPjaWQ
[calum, Dec 02 2011]

'Bang! Bang!' from Robin & the 7 Hoods http://www.youtube....watch?v=nfRZo7fXeWM
Sammy Davis Jr, the acceptable face of gangsterism. [DrBob, Dec 02 2011]


       Is a splurgegun retrofit available?
calum, Dec 02 2011

       Depleted uranium splurge?
not_morrison_rm, Dec 02 2011

       [+] yes,very cute but though those gangsters are dead and you need a Hip-Hop version now.
xandram, Dec 02 2011

       What? It doesn't shoot rags?
Vernon, Dec 02 2011

       You should be able to set it, via a small dial on the side of the gun, to different rhythms - "waltz", "cha-cha-cha", etc.
hippo, Dec 02 2011

       Ideally, there would also be a setting called "Machine Gun" which fired bullets in time with the drumbeats of "Machine Gun" by Portishead.
calum, Dec 02 2011

       You'd expect a Vulcan to naturally do 6(?) time.
FlyingToaster, Dec 02 2011

       Fight of the Bumblebee!
RayfordSteele, Dec 02 2011

       I did once hear of a bunch of army musicians being trained on heavy MGs, who were burning out barrels, firing belt-long bursts, until the instructor fixed a music rest in place of the sight.
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Dec 02 2011

       ^ <looks around to make sure 8th isn't lurking> while I didn't burn out the barrel, there was definitely some distributed weeping and gnashing of teeth over having to recalibrate it, resulting in yours truly spending a memorable weekend lugging 80lbs worth of heavy machine gun (as well as everything else normally carried) around on exercise in 4ft of snow.
FlyingToaster, Dec 02 2011

       You still could shoot rags. And should! Filthy rags deserve it.
bungston, Dec 03 2011

       Serves you right, [ToastedOne]. Machineguns are things to be respected and cared for. The Borg (are)n't the only gun nut(s) around here, you know.
Alterother, Dec 03 2011

       ^ oh, right like tell me you've never once taken the opportunity to let off a 4-5 second burst for fun.
FlyingToaster, Dec 03 2011

       Sure I have, but only from a warm barrel. Going full rock 'n' roll on a cold M2 (I assume from your reference to the weight), jarring the barrel and pushing the timing out of whack, is sincerely disrespectful.   

       Anyway, it wasn't my gun.
Alterother, Dec 03 2011

       hmm, not an M2...M1919 in 7.62... so 60lbs including tripod... seemed like 80. And it didn't need an armourer, just knocked the whatsis - elevation/windage/ field-of-fire thingy outta whack and jammed.   

       The sh*t-eating grin continued all the way through the dressing-down and further; if it'd been an M2 I'd probably have torn some facial muscles.   

       Anyways they owed me a bit of fun: brought home a trophy from a major shoot (only two steps below Bisley but too junior to advance)
FlyingToaster, Dec 03 2011

       Color me impressed. As a former comp guy (civvie sector, USA), I'm not sure about the Canadian Military marksmanship heirarchy, but I'm reasonably certain that's the equivalent of what we call 'regionals' (the highest level I ever got to, off of 3rd in State, back in 1999).   

       Why in the world were you lugging that old relic, anyway, and without a partner? Or was that part of the punshiment?
Alterother, Dec 03 2011

       Umm... that coulda been a result of the weekend I smuggled 28 bottles of Baby Duck into the barracks, thus single-handedly ensuring there wasn't a single sober non-com within for a period of time stretching well into the next day.   

       Or it could've been just on general principles; there were a few of us who basically would do any job assigned without whining about it... balanced out by being more or less continuously in minor sh*t for something or other.   

       'Trophy was a total fluke admittedly. 'Got to the firing line cranky (they had to drag me out from under a tree where I was almost asleep) and found my post was a full-length/width 4" deep puddle... but was totally relaxed having had lunch dissipate the perennial hangover and toss the blood sugar back within sight of normal. ' Glanced past my spotter/partner to see a bud from a different unit sporting a rather jaunty "Eat Me" sign on his rifle, made 2 sighting shots, then put the rest(7) save two in the bull, timing each shot at the nadir of the rifle's recoil-induced travel from the previous, and woulda got got them all in if not for an errant wind; after the sighting rounds (2o'clock in the outer) I didn't even bother with the spotter, and afterwards caught some nasty looks from the people on either side, who were thrown off by me lobbing them in about once every second'n'half.   

       Normally I can ( ...well, could) hit the broad side of the barn rather easily, but not to that extent. Oh, and I couldn't find "my" rifle so I ended up with a short butted one (and I'm a bit lanky): in retrospect that might've helped since even at the time they were all 20-30 years old, the short one probably was a bit less decrepit.   

       "hierarchy" is basically regionals (4 or 5 regions IIRC), then "Connaught" (overall Canada reg + mil) then a team from that off to England for the UK/Commonwealth matches.   

       Your 3rd in State has me trumped though... but I'd still take a FAL over an AR15 @ 600m.
FlyingToaster, Dec 03 2011

       It depends on the AR; when you say 'AR-15', you're talking about a gun with literally thousands of possible configurations. I'd line up my 6.8 custom against the hottest tricked-out FAL you can find, any day of the week. Straight out of the box, I might go with with the FAL, though. I did V-MATCH (AR-15s only) for so long, it's hard to think of handling any other semi-auto in competition.   

       Oh, and just for the record, I got 3rd in the NRA Maine State Finals, and I got creamed at the regionals.
Alterother, Dec 03 2011


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