Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Rearward car horn

Get people off of your bumper.
  (+5, -3)
(+5, -3)
  [vote for,

I really think this will work, because I am sick and tired of people riding my bumper just because I obey speed limits. I mean, these are the same jackals who go to see Batman rid Gotham City of the criminals, to protect the law-abiding, albeit impatient, rude, monster-truck driving, and habitually speeding, citizens. Get off my bumper! If you don't, your eardrums will bleed!
tuna wagon, Apr 22 2000


       I've been using the monniker "Vigilante Highway Patrol" for a while to refer to drivers just like you, thanks for confirming my prejudice. Do you really compare yourself to Batman?
Eeyore, Apr 24 2000

       I find laying on the windshield washer continually for a few minutes usually does the trick for tailgaters, and it's cheaper.
koz, Apr 26 2000

       I find a modicum of ketchup soaked frenchfries to be efficacious....
StarChaser, Apr 27 2000

       I used to drive a '78 Cadillac. I found that the fear of having $5000 front-end damage done by merely tapping my rear bumper caused most cars to respect sudden braking and other irrational manouvers.
eagle, Apr 27 2000

       A friend put a switch on his dashboard to let him manually turn on the "reverse" lights. That definitely got people's attention.
brouhaha, Jun 15 2000

       i have often thought about a switch that would enable me to turn my reverse lights on with a switch. sometimes when i'm stopped at lights and someone is too close, i pop it in reverse for a bit of fun. if your car is equipped with a rear-windscreen washer, or powerful ones mounted at the top of your windscreen, pointing these to face backwards can make an effective way for making cars back off, especially convertibles...
Malcolm, Jul 12 2000

       btw, if you want one of these horns, buy a horn, wire it up and stick it on the back of your car - not difficult
Malcolm, Jul 12 2000

       Walking may or may not soothe your soul. Try walking. Try walking again. And then perhaps buy a newsaper and wrap it all about your eyes, for soothing. Then try walking. Tinned wee-sausages in beans from Heinz are also quite popular here.   

       And macaroni cheese?
eehen, Jul 12 2000

       My first car was a 1976 Volvo 245 DL (station wagon). If any one knows these rare vehicles, they know they are bult like tanks, mine had bumpers made out of 1/8 inch thick steel with a rubber pad around it. They were mounted on shock absorbers and wraped around the side of the car. When a $65,000 Lexus owned by a proctologist (is there any other reason he likes my ass so much?) rode my bumper I would just downshift (no brake lights).   

       Another good tactic I leaned while driving my parents' '83 Mercedes 300D. This particualr car was a 5 cyl. deisel. Pop it in to neutal and floor it. Watch that motorcyclist or looser in the convertable BMW choke on the black smoke!
SkiBum5, Aug 03 2000

       Another good tactic: If you own a late model european car (Audi, Volvo S80) they have rear-facing fog lights because they are required in some European countries. Usually these are activated by a button on the dash. These lights are essentially rear-facing headlights with a red filter, this means they are very bright. When someone is tailgating see how fast you can make your fog-light blink.
SkiBum5, Aug 03 2000

       I was thinking that either an old fashioned flashbulb (the full size kind) or a high-output photostrobe mounted in the back window . . . better at night, though.
bristolz, Nov 20 2001

       Would work during the day as well, especially the strobe thing.
StarChaser, Nov 20 2001

       [SkiBum5]: Are rear fog lights not required in the USA then? They are so useful in thick fog - quite often all you can see of the car in front is a single dull red dot from their (normally peircingly bright) rear fog light. They've saved my behind on many a cold wintry evening!
pmillerchip, Nov 20 2001

       Not required in the USA, and probably illegal (due to abuse).   

       Good idea, though.
phoenix, Nov 20 2001

       Volvo's have rear fog lights, er, light (only on the drivers side). They look like an extra bright brake light.
bristolz, Nov 20 2001

       I've seen them on Jaguars here too, and wondered why the running lights were so bright...<Answer: driver is an idiot.>...and a friend's VW Corrado has them too. <HE knows to turn them off except when needed, though.>   

       Seems to be a not-US thing...
StarChaser, Nov 22 2001

       Rear fog lights (at least one) are compulsory in UK and Europe. They're 25 watt, red (of course), operate off their own switch, only when the headlamps are on, and have a warning light on the dash. Also they're *really* annoying when used in the rain.
angel, Nov 23 2001

       My local gadget shop is selling short LED matrix displays with the idea that you put them in your rear window and us them to send friendly messages to drivers who are too close. An invitation to road rage if you ask me!
dare99, Nov 23 2001

       Also, the simple act of tapping your parking brake will also slow a car greatly without illiuminating your brake lights. Just be sure to also be pulling on your brake release so it doesn't lockup your rear wheels and put you into a impressive though costly spin.
cuffnstuff, Sep 11 2002

       you can't tell if the horn comes from the front or back...how about have a gallon of paint hooked up like washer fluid...you press the button and paint is sprayed over the car behind...water-soluble of course...
shelley2, Nov 04 2002


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