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SUV Stalker

The cure for the common SUV
(+4, -4)
  [vote for,

There is a problem on United States highways, called Agressive Driving. This phenomenon, also dubbed "Road Rage", is a very real threat to many motorists.

Part of the reason for U.S. motorists moving into bigger cars was a defensive move towards increased MASS. With unibody construction and increased use of plastics, cars were becoming lighter and lighter, but roads were becoming bigger,faster, and more congested.

To make a long introduction short, these defensive "weapons" increasingly became offensive threats. During rush hour, it is a common law offense to put a small car in the leftmost lane traveling anything less than 75 mph. This is on a road with a posted maximum speed "limit" of 55 mph. (This long intro is neccessary because of the controversial nature of my proposal. I will just leave you to ponder the effect a collision with a 6000 pound SUV accelerated to 75 mph scant inches from your rear bumper. Could we call it the Princess Diana effect?)

What could be developed is the RMC (Revolutionary Motor Corporation) Model SV1. Nickname: the "SUV stalker." This car would have a target weight of 2000 - 3000 pounds, at sea level. Instead of a normal unibody construction, this car would sport an exoskeleton, where most of the cars mass would be contained. The primary feature of this exterior frame would be the part constructed of galvanized steel, like that of guard-rails to keep cars out of ravines. The shape of this member, would be evocative to even a child. It would be a very effective ramp, with a twist as it rose in an arc over the car. Much like a razor back hog, who stops suddenly and runs it pursuer over its razor sharp spine ! This ramp would be designed to send a top heavy vehicle with a high center of gravity into a nice spiral over the SV1. The spiral would be towards the right-hand side (for left-hand-drive SV1's).

What! you doth protest? Of course it would be up to SV1 drivers to resist the tempation to stop suddenly and send the tailgater into a deadly spiral. Right - just as is for people driving overly massive vehicles to not endanger others with their accelerated mass.

undata, Mar 16 2007

Accidents happen http://www.tmz.com/...es-fatal-car-crash/
This link brought to you in honor of the first negative vote with no annotation [undata, Mar 16 2007]

home of the official Hummer H2 salute http://www.fuh2.com/
bun [jaksplat, Mar 16 2007]


       The stalker would of course have to be shaped like a Frisbee or Battlebot to deal with side impacts.   

       SUV = Satan's Unholy Vehicle
nuclear hobo, Mar 16 2007

       This could be truly revolutionary! -- Imagine holding an SV1 competition in a stadium the day after a monster truck rally, before they haul away all the dirt. There could be prizes for the most number of rollovers, the slowest speed causing a rollover, etc., etc. What fun!
undata, Mar 16 2007

       So this device turns an SUV from a three ton projectile hurtling down the fast lane at 75 mph in a semi controlled manner into a three ton uncontrolled projectile tumbling through the slower lanes? Sorry I hate SUVs and all, but that still gets a bone.
Galbinus_Caeli, Mar 16 2007

       I say you out-SUV the SUV and ride the bus. Think of the intimidation factor your vehicle has in relation to those puny SUVs.
pathetic, Mar 17 2007

       I want a big hammer on mine.
BJS, Mar 17 2007

       Note: although I gave the example of travelling in the fast lane, this was only to paint the picture of the bullying. (This can actually be viewed daily on the capitol beltway, route 495, every day from 6-9 a.m. or 3-6 p.m.)   

       The proper use of the Stalker would be in the slow lane, preferably above a nice ravine, and hopefully exploding into flames would complete the picture.
undata, Mar 19 2007


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