Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Recycle your elderly

Finally, a use for the old that doesn't involve shuffleboard.
  (+6, -21)(+6, -21)(+6, -21)
(+6, -21)
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I'm tired of people telling me to respect the elderly. While I hold them no maliciousness, I don't think they've really done much for my generation, barring screwing us with a falling economy and using up enough resources to force me to hear about recycling every thirty seconds throughout my childhood. It was always, "hey, recycle that newspaper" and "find a better use for that old hamster cage" and "that's a waste of a perfectly good used condom." I'm tired of this. And you're tired of waiting for the Idea. Here it is: There is a fluid between the joints of human beings that is strong enough to lubricate joints for more than 100 years. It's just being WASTED in old people. I suggest we extract it, and put it in cars. That way I won't waste any of my time or money going to speed lube anymore. The only problem is, when this fluid comes in contact with oxygen, it deteriorates. It will have to be extracted in a closed system, fed into an engine, and then that system will have to be closed. Also, while we're at it, we might as well harvest all their non-deteriorating organs and give them to young kids that can appreciate them fully (with beer and sex).
crackriot, Jan 09 2002

[link]






       Someone's been watching the Simpsons.
angel, Jan 09 2002
  

       While it's likely not bake~able - the ebb and flow of the commentary seemed natural. Unfortunately,the unnatural part is the content itself - harvesting of those who are the age you may one day be. Fatty Fish Oils are good for you.
thumbwax, Jan 09 2002
  

       Abuse of the elderly, the young, the fat, the skinny, the religious, those who don't agree with your politics, those who have a different skin colour and those who are just boringly non-descript is OK by me (as long as you don't mind taking a bit of flak back) but anyone who drives a car and then claims that someone/thing else is a waste of resources needs a poke in the eye with a blunt stick.
DrBob, Jan 09 2002
  

       with an orang-utan
po, Jan 09 2002
  

       in a very uncomfortable place.
Guy Fox, Jan 09 2002
  

       Well, the back, of course.   

       The gearstick and steering wheel would make the front just _too_ uncomfortable, I should think.
Guy Fox, Jan 09 2002
  

       2000AD's Mega City One had a Recyc' centre where all citizens are recycled to extract whatever was possible. Visually it was great as thin robotic limbs would deal with production lines of deceased people and Judge Dredd would often have to venture into this macabre place to catch a perp.
Aristotle, Jan 09 2002
  

       not impressed!! fishbone
Turkish, Jan 09 2002
  

       Unless you people are the elderly, you are missing the big picture here. I know that I myself need a nice kidney, and i wouldnt mind getting this kidney and some nice motor oil from the old people that crashed into my car because they cant see, causing me to need the damn kidney. In other words, if the old lady that hit me was recycled before she hit me, I wouldnt have this problem. Look at the bigger picture, more food and Wal-Mart jobs for us. Hallelujah!
Salty Ham, Jan 10 2002
  

       The elderly should pay more local taxes as the constant shuffling of feet has a wearing effect on the surface on roads etc....
veitchy, Jan 10 2002
  

       Looking at the big picture, it's awfully hard to imagine that the Universe revolves around me.
beauxeault, Jan 10 2002
  

       That's because it doesn't revolve around you, beauxeault...it revolves around me.
DrBob, Jan 10 2002
  

       [Dr Bob] I've loved most of your commentary that I have read - you have much genius to you, my friend! But no sharp sticks, I was jokin, I swear!
crackriot, Jan 11 2002
  

       I recycyle my elderly the old fashioned way...
snarfyguy, Jan 11 2002
  

       [PeterSealy] This is an idea I have had for some time. While I myself do not find it to be a plausible or correct idea, I put it out there to see what others thought. This I am doing, and loving. Perhaps I am a troll to you, but from every comment I have read of yours, I'd say you're ten times the asshole. I enjoy this site, it's material, and the comments made on that material. Your personal attacks on the ideas of others are not only unnecessary, but also simply rude. If you'd like to discuss further, write me an email, until then, think positive, not negative! It's a healthier lifestyle!
crackriot, Jan 11 2002
  

       crackriot, sucking up is the last resort of the desperate! Anyhoo, 'cause I abhor violence I've amended my original annotation for you.
DrBob, Jan 11 2002
  
      
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