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Remote Control Moon

Control all of the World's water from an armchair
  (+5, -7)
(+5, -7)
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One popular World-Changing idea that seems to be wheeled-out every now-and-again is to tow an iceberg to a desert... An expensive and difficult task, due to their mass and the effort required moving them to exactly where they're needed.

But, what if you could move vast quantities of water remotely? Say, like the Moon does?

I'm unsure as to whether The Moon (Luna) ought to be retrofitted with a control system or whether to create a wholly new artificial one... or, more sensibly perhaps, capture a passing comet and install it in orbit. Either way, once the (new) moon is under our control, it should allow us to cause new tides when and whereever we want them... say, in the middle of the Australian Desert...

Dub, Jan 24 2011

What you need is one of those "Universal" Remotes http://walyou.com/w...-jumbo-geek-gadget/
A potential quote might be: "A Universe remote, guaranteed to help control different aspects of the Universe" [zen_tom, Jan 29 2011]

...and one of these http://news.discove...html#mkcpgn=rssnws1
[Dub, Feb 01 2011]


       ... and this year's winner of the Ming The Merciless "You Fools ! I'll Destroy You All ! MUHWHAHAHAHA !" award goes to .......   

       <rustling of envelope>   

       ... [Dub] !
8th of 7, Jan 24 2011

       The moon will fall down
idris83, Jan 24 2011

       [idris83] Hang on... which one are we talking about?
Dub, Jan 24 2011

       Ah right... - I read the title with "moon" as a verb.
hippo, Jan 24 2011

       I'm imagining the RC controller unit now :- It's just like one you might see being used for a car, or aeroplane. i.e. a box with big long aerial sticking out the end with a bit of flag on the end. Only this remote has only one control; A massively oversized, big red button - with "Moon" clearly labelled underneath in bold sans serif type.
zen_tom, Jan 24 2011

       // which one are we talking about? //   

       Either. Stop them moving above a desert and they'll soon head toward the desert.   

       If there were lots of them you could time their orbits to coincide in one big alignment, causing such a large movement of water toward a single point that it could spread across land and flood the area. That way, the satellites wouldn't need to stop, and while not in alignment, they would have a relatively small effect on the earth's waters.
idris83, Jan 24 2011

       [zen_tom], erm, yes... that's more-or-less what I thought it'd look like too.... but written in Letraset. I imagined whenever the unit was filmed, the hands using the unit wouldn't look like they belonged to the person using it.
Oh, and it'd have a big red button which "Self-Distruct" under one of those clear-plastic covers, for safety.

       [idris83], I suppose you could have multiple moons (NOUN [hippo]!, NOUN!)... So, I guess the control unit might need a channel selector, too (as opposed to being selected by invisible finger!) - So, yes, [zen], pretty much exactly the sort of thing you see middle-aged men using to control yachts on Clapham Common boating lake on any given Sunday afternoon. The difference, of course would be that the lake would follow what the joystick did, and not the yacht!
I suppose the aerial would have a flag on the end, for good measure.
Dub, Jan 24 2011

       Ok so, the 'why' is clear.
No bun without 'how' though.

       "A" comet won't do it, they are fairly tiny on an astronmical scale. Plus if you can move a comet, you might as well just drop it on the area you want it.   

       The largest asteroid, Ceres, masses two orders of magnitude less than Luna, and would probably have some effect, You could put it in a geostationary oribt, dropping or raising it slightly to move it around the planet, but this would cause fairly minimal tides. The alternative is to put it in as low an orbit as possible, and play with resonance around the moons tides to increase them where desired.
MechE, Jan 24 2011

       Good luck with the whole earthquake thing though. Water isn't the only thing that feels tidal forces.
MechE, Jan 24 2011

       A touch unfaesible.   

       The energy required to move a moon would be greater than that required to move the mass of water so effected.   

       For any given altitude, a satellite has one stable rate of orbit. If you slow it down, it wall fall into a lower (and faster) orbit. Sooner or later it will hit the original Moon or take out a bunch of geostationary satellites.   

       Towing icebergs is real. It is already commonly done to keep them clear of oil rigs and shipping lanes.
Twizz, Jan 24 2011

       The minions are in awe...   

       What if we put a very large coil on the moon and take advantage of the earth's rotation for electrical power generation...
RayfordSteele, Jan 24 2011

       How? HOW?! {checks the title of the website}
Well, I'm no rocket scientist, but I'd imagine it's a case of landing a rocket on some piece of rock up there and controlling it.
Have you seen Deep Impact / Armageddon? Well pretty much like those, only with a slightly different ending, and a remote control.
Dub, Jan 24 2011

       When I was young, “Radio control” was the unobtainable super-expensive dream. Mere middle-class mortals had to be satisfied with “Remote control” which was (deliberately) exactly the same but with the aerial on controller and car subtly replaced by a long wire linking the two together.
pocmloc, Jan 24 2011

       My TV's Remote Control uses IR.
I think, what I meant was, controllable from here (rather than from space/the satellite)
Dub, Jan 24 2011

       // What if we put a very large coil on the moon and take advantage of the earth's rotation for electrical power generation... //   

       This is a cool idea but again, the magnetic force would gradually slow the moon down and it would fall out of the sky :((( Happily though, this would cause a large release of energy where the two bodies collide and thus our energy problems would be solved.
idris83, Jan 24 2011

       // fall out of the sky //   


       The Orbital Mechanics class ... you were sick that day, right ?   

       Will you go away now and educate yourself, or would you prefer internal hemorrhaging ?
8th of 7, Jan 24 2011

       Maybe I need to stick my tongue in my cheek more firmly next time.
RayfordSteele, Jan 24 2011

       just get it right next time Ray. The coil goes around the earth, magnets on the moon and viola!
methinksnot, Jan 25 2011

       // you were sick that day, right ? //   

       Yes. Fancy lending me your notes?
idris83, Jan 25 2011

       I reckon you could wait for an Earth-grazing asteroid to float by, mount a mission to it, attach rocket motors and move it to relatively low Earth orbit, maybe geostationary. In that position, it could get away with being a lot less massive. If it were even closer, say four hundred kilometres up, you could get the same effect from a mass only a millionth that of the Moon, i think. Use the substance of the asteroid itself as propulsion, particularly if it's a rubble pile.
nineteenthly, Jan 25 2011

       [imagines teenagers arguing over who gets to play with the remote next. Checks on currently available stock of fishbones. There aren't nearly enough! <sigh!>].
DrBob, Jan 25 2011

       < goes off muttering >[...Starting to feel picked on for having a typing impediment {ellipsis}]< /gom >
Dub, Jan 29 2011


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