Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Retire First, Then Work Until You Die

Have Fun in Retirement While You Can Still Enjoy It
  (+8, -7)
(+8, -7)
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Change the generally accepted work arrangement where you work for 30 years, then retire when you're old and gray. This plan would have you work for five years or so, then get your retirement time --- after that, you go back and work in your previously chosen profession until you croak. The actual number of retirement years awarded would be calculated from the average length of time people last after they retire in a given occupation. So, if the typical Lion Tamer lasts for 20 years after he (or she) retires, you would tame lions for five years, spend 20 years living it up, then go back to lion taming until you either get killed and eaten or die of natural causes. A Cat Box Cleaner or Fireman or Door-to-Door Vacuum Cleaner Salesman would all have different lifespans in retirement. Naturally, you would still get vacations and other token bennies after you returned to active service. Another benefit of this plan is that since the company would have so much invested in you after footing the bill for 20 years of retirement excesses and other debachery, that they would keep you on no matter what just to get the most out of their investment.
Grogster, Aug 01 2010

pre-existing, very similar idea Tirement
[hippo, Oct 30 2023]


       Retirement was a pretty huge change when it was instituted, so this works in that way.   

       The best scheme would be to make work illegal, so anyone caught doing any would be sentenced to hard labour and hopefully when they are released they would be reformed. Recidivists would be dealt with harshly.
rcarty, Aug 01 2010

       Heh, There is a commercial here, (can't remember the company) but basically it goes;   

       "Mom, Dad, I've decided to skip a career and go straight to retirement. Some shuffle board, a little peaknuckle in the afternoon..."   

       Made me laugh my ass off.
This comes close. I've had more jobs than I can count, what is to stop you from not going back to your old carreer?

       There may be an uptick in work for skip tracers...
Grogster, Aug 01 2010

       Actually, I suspect this is what I did already.   

       Nice anno, [rcarty]. Welcome aboard, [Grogster].
normzone, Aug 01 2010

       Not sure about still getting holidays. I think if all the time off was added together including time off for sleeping and eating, you would end up with quite a short career where you get really tired and starve to death. There are plenty of jobs where going to sleep would be fatal.
nineteenthly, Aug 01 2010

       Yes, it would be enjoyable to see professional sportsmen hobbling about with their zimmer frames, except the ringers who came out of early retirement.
Ling, Aug 01 2010

       Retire first was the theory of the sixties.
ldischler, Aug 01 2010

       //they would keep you on no matter what just to get the most out of their investment// AKA "sunk costs." Only works if their accountants have Alzheimer's, which, under your scheme is a real possibility.
mouseposture, Aug 01 2010

       //...There are plenty of jobs where going to sleep would be fatal...// I'm assuming you are talking about going to sleep while on the job, [nineteenthly]... an Air Traffic Controller going to sleep on the job would have a different subset of concerns from, say, an Alligator Wrestler or Motorcycle Daredevil.
Grogster, Aug 01 2010

       I recall a science-fiction story where some young fellow was living it up in town, spending "months" like they were water. He attempted suicide, but wound up with his brain in a bottle, controlling a very slow starship on a centuries-long voyage.
baconbrain, Aug 01 2010

       Yes indeed, the lethal fun could work both ways.
nineteenthly, Aug 01 2010

       You call it retirement. I call it unemployed. There is a lot of folks already following this schedule. After years of unemployment following school, they finally get a job to learn that they can't afford retirement, then work till death. Its a fine tradition. Research graduate students don't have the luxury of unemployment or retirement. They just work after graduation, not for money but for prestige.   

       el dueno
el dueno, Aug 01 2010

       What baconbrain has said is freakin' brilliant!   

       Also, [+], it is hard not to pull this manuever when in fact social security is a pyramid scheme and when so many boomers in middle management refuse to move into retirement homes.
quantum_flux, Aug 02 2010

       That scheme has the same chance of working as the person who adopts it.
rcarty, Aug 02 2010

       // Retire first was the theory of the sixties.//
Yeah, I did it!!
xandram, Aug 02 2010

       //What about “Die first, then retire until you work”?//
Problem with that is the small number of job categories that can be filled by the deceased. There are some acting gigs, but the medical school market has pretty much dried up since the demise of the Indian corpse trade.
mouseposture, Aug 03 2010

       There is plenty of precedent for employing the living-impaired... government comes immediately to mind...
Grogster, Aug 03 2010

       [el dueno] nailed it. I've seen several people do this. School is (for some) hard work, especially doctors, teachers other care-giving sorts of professions, and most especially for those who think the military will actually pay for school (ha!). Then they might work for a few years, the economy tanks, they collect unemployment, travel a bit as volunteers in other countries, and eventually catch the responsible / safe / respectable bug and work to pay off loans, support family, etc... until they drop. Happens all the time.
James Newton, Aug 03 2010


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