Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Almost as great as sliced bread.

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Reverse Bong

Smoke at your desk without offending others
  (+8, -1)
(+8, -1)
  [vote for,

A semi-permeable smokers' pen is a good idea--if you can keep them there. Otherwise, their hair, their clothes and their bodies would get saturated in second (and third, fourth, etc.) hand smoke, which would waft behind them in even greater concentrations when they returned to the building.

A better idea, I think, would be a reverse bong. It would have a sealed chamber in which the tobacco would smolder until negative pressure (from the smoker's inhalation) opened a valve allowing fresh air in. This would cause the tobacco to burn, producing the smoky goodness that tobacco fiends crave. The smoke would pass through one chamber of a bisectioned hookah, past a one-way valve on the mouthpiece, and into the smoker's lungs. On exhalation, the smoke would pass through another one-way valve, through the other chamber of the hookah, and into a multi-sectioned bong in which positive pressure drives the smoky air through several deep slurries of activated charcoal before being pleasantly scented and returned to the outside environment.

In this way, a smoker might be able to indulge his habit at his desk without anyone else in the office being offended by the smell. Suppressing the offensive, flatulent noises produced by the bubbling slurry, however, might be the topic of another Halfbakery idea.


Guncrazy, Sep 26 2001


       [Obligatory stop-smoking post.]
Marks for effort.
angel, Sep 26 2001

       While hitting the carburetor in reverse order, of course.
thumbwax, Sep 26 2001

       I dunno, this might be bakeable and effective, don't you think? Haven't we beat up on smokers enough? Can't we cut them just a little slack? Are they not human? *stills bleeding heart and pulls trousers up to cover pantywaists* Oh all right let's just execute the buggers and have done with it.   

       Market this under the name 'Gnob', of course.
Dog Ed, Sep 27 2001

       Something that suppresses offensive flatulent noises might be useful...
hippo, Sep 27 2001

       Guncrazy - would that be "Wacky Tobbacky" you're talking about?
AfroAssault, Sep 27 2001

       I suspect not, AfroAssault. Guncrazy is talking about something that could be used in the office. Perhaps a name such as the reverse hookah (hakooh?) would less easily conjure up images of illegality.
Lemon, Sep 27 2001

       AfroAssault: Well, the beauty of this device is that nobody would know what you were smoking (by smell, anyway), since all the smoke is contained. This was originally posted in a different topic, in response to an idea for making smokers smoke in smoke-capturing pens outside office buildings. I came up with this as a way to smoke at your desk without polluting your co-workers' air.
Guncrazy, Sep 27 2001

       <rant> Recently I took the opportunity to read the drug policies in my employee handbook. And I quote: "We at [insert bloodsucking HMO company name here] deplore the use of illegal subtances, and the use of chemicals while in the services or representation of [said HMO] is expressly forbidden, especially substances that alter brain function."   

       Now, I may have gotten this wrong, but does not nicotine affect the way your brain operates? </rant>
amo, Oct 18 2001

       [amo]: less so than caffeine, I imagine.
pottedstu, Oct 18 2001

       Note the mention of 'illegal'. Cigarettes are not, yet, illegal.
StarChaser, Oct 19 2001

       Actually they only seem to 'deplore' the illegal ones. It's *all* chemicals that they ban. Oh, dear. There goes the tippex, toner, ink, etc., etc..
Guy Fox, Oct 19 2001

       MMMM! Ink! Can't wait to smoke some of that shizat!   

       This is a great idea! Suppressing those odors is key!   

       Maybe a more compact system could be used than activated carbon slurry?   

       Perhaps some chemical filter that binds with the smelliest of the wacky ingredients?   

       But, it seems like an awful lot of hassle just to get it into the office; I have weekends for this sort of stuff, if it gets that oppressive!   

       Best way: just legalize it :)
Crazy Bastard, May 05 2002

       I think that kids already do something like this when they want to smoke pot in the house and not get caught. Though, in their case, they use a decidedly low-tech approach.   

       Basically, a toilet-paper roll is stuffed tightly with a large amount of fabric-softening sheets. They inhale through a pipe, minimizing excess smoke, and exhale through the roll. Supposedly the dry sheets absorb most of the smoke, and what is left is masked by the smell of wonderful summery-fresh chemicals.
rapid transit, May 26 2003

       This is good shit, man
Warning: Do not retrieve TP from Toilet prior to flush/use.
thumbwax, May 26 2003

       Same tube for intake and exhaust. Great idea. Fit it with a mask that straps to your face and I am there. I feel like it's something a capital-F Futurist would've come up with, you know before it wasn't cool to be a capital-F Fascist.
Wisconsin, Feb 14 2005

       Smoke faucets!
jaksplat, Feb 14 2005

       "... you know before it wasn't cool to be a capital-F Fascist."   

bristolz, Feb 14 2005

       (?) "capital-F Fascist", <flag>, <unflag>
david_scothern, Feb 14 2005

       Excellent Idea. I have even [+]d it. But a question remains in my head: what if the smoke comes out of his nose like from that corner -store owner at the end of the road i stay?
kamathln, Feb 14 2005


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