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Right Bach At Cha' Vest

GIve 'em a taste of their own medicine and dance while doing it.
  (+7, -10)
(+7, -10)
  [vote for,

This idea is inspired by numerous other bullet proof vest out there recently and those old Bugs Bunny cartoons. This would be a regular Kevlar vest but with a slight modification. All along the outside of the vest little tiny U-shaped tubes would be sewn/ fused to the vest facing out. The tubes would have square openings to avoid gaps between them and be made out of Adamantium coated on the inside with Acme All-Slip Oil. You get shot, they get shot. Simple as that.

But wait, there's more...

While saving your life and potentially ending theirs, the vest will play a variety of Bach pieces set to a Cha-Cha beat (Is this even possible?). Thus, you can dance your way out of the danger zone, cha-cha-chaing back to safety.

NotTheSharpestSpoon, Mar 18 2006

Your Adamantium reference is indeed bullet proof http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/1758819.stm
Adam Ant Drunk at a pub firing a gun. The rumour is he was so drunk he believed he was bullet proof. [Braindead, Mar 21 2006]


       [Marked–for-Deletion] bad science, WTCTTISITCWIBNIIWR, magic
ato_de, Mar 20 2006

       /bad science, WTCTTISITCWIBNIIWR, magic/   

       Just hold on cotton picking minute. I can understand the bad science tag- putting Bach to a Cha-Cha beat breaks at least three laws of physics that I know of, possibly a couple of theories and maybe even a notion.   

       But I have never seen a bullet-proof vest with little U-shaped tubes sewn to them designed to ricochet the bullet back to the shooter, cartoon or otherwise. So I'm not sure that the WTCTTISITCWIBNIIWR tag fits. If you have an example, please show me.   

       Nowhere is there any mention of goat's blood being sprinkled on the head of a nubile virgin, or chanting while wearing silly hats and waving sticks in the air. And absolutely no fairy dust was ever sprinkled anywhere near the idea (although, I'm sure it wouldn't hurt). So no magic was involved or hurt in the making/ testing of this idea.   

       So, I say this to you (again) [ato_de]: Bad [ato_de], bad! Have a great day, and make good choices! :)
NotTheSharpestSpoon, Mar 20 2006

       I'm with you on this one NotTheSharpest - clever, funny and essentially devoid of magic +
xenzag, Mar 20 2006

       Shhhh, keep it on the down low, [xenzag], but I got some extra fairy dust that I haven't used yet. <Sprinkles some onto [xenzag]> Now, all you have to do is beleeeiiive.   

       P.S.- don't tell [ato_de], he'll be all over my as- Oh, hey, [ato_de]. What's up?
NotTheSharpestSpoon, Mar 20 2006

       Yeah, the WTCTTISITCWIBNIIWR call is rooted in Bogoville.
bristolz, Mar 21 2006

       /Bogoville/- [bristolz]   

       What's Bogoville? I confused.
NotTheSharpestSpoon, Mar 21 2006

       bad science- "little tiny U-shaped tubes " will not change the direction of bullets.   

       WTCTTISITCWIBNIIWR- //This idea is inspired by... ... Bugs Bunny cartoons// While I have not seen a vest exactly as described, I have seen cartoons where the hero redirects bullet fire back toward the shooter with a U-shaped tube. (I am considering withdrawing this portion of the MFD)   

       Magic- How does being hit in the chest with bullets while wearing a "Right Bach At Cha' Vest" result in "Bach pieces set to a Cha-Cha beat?" sounds like magic to me.
ato_de, Mar 21 2006

       //bad science- "little tiny U-shaped tubes " will not change the direction of bullets.//   

       Why not?   

       //Magic- How does being hit in the chest with bullets while wearing a "Right Bach At Cha' Vest" result in "Bach pieces set to a Cha-Cha beat?"//   

       Presumably it has an ipod attachment or something. I don't think that playing music is beyond the bounds of science.
Loris, Mar 21 2006

       /bad science- "little tiny U-shaped tubes " will not change the direction of bullets./   

       There's only one way to find out, [ato_de]. Here, put this on and stand over there about twenty paces. This won't hurt a bit, I hope.
NotTheSharpestSpoon, Mar 21 2006

       "Don't cha wish your vest was just like mine" PussyCat Dolls variation - to be sung during a shoot out.
xenzag, Mar 21 2006

       Well, technically speaking a properly shaped semicircle can redirect an incoming projectile.   

       Like a skateboard.   

       However, a small tube would be very likely to get jammed, instead of working, because the bullet's round nose would cause it to twist. Also, the tube would likely not have enough space for the bullet to turn - it would curve too much. Finally, the shooter would have to aim for the openings, as there would be dead spaces for the curves, and the lips of the tubes.   

       And of course Adamantium and Acme are clearly magic.   

       But of course these can all be overlooked. The thing is, when you redirect a projectile, the bracing mass (you) feels twice the momentum change. So you're actually gonna be hurt more.   

       Despite these points, I like fairy dust. Whee!
Darkelfan, Mar 21 2006

       Could I make a small change. Just replace adamantium u shaped tubes and acme lubricant with a combination of radar, laser and elecrto optic guidance systems and an M16 attached to your hat on a swivel that is configured to fire in the direction of the incoming bullet. Now if we could get the calibration and timing right we maybe able actually intercept the incoming bullet in the process avoiding the impact of the bullet on your bullet proof vest.   

       The only downfall I see is the steal neck and back support you will need to stop your head being ripped off in the event this thing actually worked.
Braindead, Mar 21 2006

       Duck season!
notmarkflynn, Mar 22 2006

       Rabbit season!
notmarkflynn, Mar 22 2006

       Instead of u-shaped tubes, attach small levers with would-be projectiles attached to them. Assuming they're spaced close enough, then when the bullet hits, it will have a decent chance of pushing one of the levers and launching a different projectile back in the general direction of the assailant. Hopefully there are no innocent bystanders nearby.
DarkEnergy, Mar 22 2006

       You are forgetting that a bullet does spin out of the barrel and will also depress considerably when it hits a target because they are often designed to transfer much energy to the target.   

       The kind that would not do that, is designed to go through a bullet proof vest or shatter upon impact.   

       Not exactly back at ya, considering the wearer will be moved by the force of the bullet.   

       You perhaps need this to work with an air rifle pellet.
sartep, Mar 24 2006

       Wait a minute! Wait just a minute! That's not a real gun, is it? 'Cause, you see, I'm wearing a vest that only works with pellets right now. So if that a real- <BANG!> <a cha-cha intro starts playing tinningly from vest> Ow. I guess everyong was right. <Falls back- dead as a doornail>
NotTheSharpestSpoon, Mar 24 2006

       //You are forgetting that a bullet does spin out of the barrel//   

       So what you are saying is that the tubes will need to be spiral shaped right?   

       Do all guns have the same handedness spiral?   

       I like DarkEnergy's lever suggestion, anyway.
Loris, Mar 24 2006

       This has dead innocent bystander written all over it. Add another bone to the fish.
Bighongry, May 12 2006

       Don't be silly [Bighongry], you couldn't print anything on it. There are too many holes for you to be able to see it. Jeez!
NotTheSharpestSpoon, May 12 2006

       Not Bach: Wagner. "Kill the wabbit, kill the waaaaabbit..."
HaltAndCatchFire, May 12 2006


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