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Welcome to Riotland!
For your rioting pleasure, we have constructed a small metropolitan downtown area. Carefully based on studies of Seattle, Watts, and other famous locations, we strive to provide a realistic and satisfying locale for your rampage.
All customers (after signing appropriate waivers)
will be equipped with some basic safety gear (light body armor, face masks) and may choose from our wide selection of padded baseball bats, foam rocks, simulation molotov cocktails, and other implements of faux destruction.
Our squad of trained actors will don riot gear and ineptly fight back with airsoft pistols, low-pressure water hoses, foam batons, and slightly irritating "tear gas" grenades. Patrons are encouraged to "fight the man".
A variety of cars will be provided for tipping over, and all shops will be provided with safety-glass windows and real lootable merchandise, which may be purchased upon leaving the park. Professional cameramen will be on the ground with camcorders recording the event, which can also be purchased to memorialize your riot.
Riots start every day at noon and end at 3:00 AM--please arrive at the park prior to 10:00 AM for check-in and orientation. Or, go to our weekend Fri-Sat-Sun "major rebellion" for a taste of real chaos (food, camping equipment, and other necessities available by looting).
Riotland cannot be held responsible for personal injury or loss of personal property. Assault of any patron or staff member with an implement not provided by Riotland may result in ejection from the park without refund and possible criminal proceedings. Alcohol and other drugs are strictly prohibited. Please riot responsibly.
[miggavin, Sep 12 2015]
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||//Alcohol and other drugs are strictly prohibited. Please riot responsibly.//
||Surely these items should be required ;-)
||Maybe not drugs, they would quite possibly make the participant not feel like rioting and it may turn into a peacful protest. Maybe just alcohol.
||How about letting the participants choose which side they want to be on?
||okay, a place where you're expected to run
around waving a baseball bat and
screaming? i'm in. property damage is just
gravy. uh, what is gravy-like that goes well
||No. "Religious Intolerance" here. Go two blocks down and take the flaming trolley to the end of the line.