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Rip-Stop Nylon Candy Wrappers

File under Diet:Evil
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These Snickers wrappers look just like the normal candy bar, but are made from rip-stop nylon to discourage overeating.

Sales aren't predicted to be very high.

RayfordSteele, Oct 09 2010

[link]






       pocket knives
pocmloc, Oct 09 2010
  

       //pocket knives// These would be served as snacks on airplanes. Reserved for use on flights which had pushed back from the gate, but been kept waiting on the tarmac for hours.   

       [RayfordSteele] I mean this in the nicest possible way, but you're not cut out for marketing. Sales need not be low just because the product has negative utility. You only need to sell it to someone other than the end-user.
mouseposture, Oct 09 2010
  

       //Sales aren't predicted to be very high.//   

       That does seem like a safe bet. Perhaps if they put a prize (say, a pocket knife) inside, sales would pick up.   

       Only wait...this idea was to discourage overeating. It's a real paradox, I think. I want to suggest putting a bad tasting candy bar inside, but this is already heading in so much the wrong direction.
Boomershine, Oct 09 2010
  

       ////pocket knives// These would be served as snacks on airplanes.// Bad idea - not very edible, and can be used for nefarious purposes if not eaten.
pocmloc, Oct 09 2010
  

       I was just about to point out that very thing, [poc].
Boomershine, Oct 09 2010
  

       Since [Rayford] is not helping (or hurting) his cause by not speaking up, perhaps we might try to get to the bottom of this idea.   

       The category is Diet:Evil. The minute I get started on where the hell *that* should be taking us, I get a bit bogged down, which, come to think of it, is how [RS] sounds in his description.   

       Do we all have a problem with this? (Not me.) It might seem a bit...autocratic of us to produce something that penalizes all candy eaters, when [Rayford] might be the only with an issue. Just saying. I don't need my Snickers any harder to get into.
Boomershine, Oct 09 2010
  

       This reminds me of the woman who kept her candy bars in the freezer so she'd have to wait for them to thaw before she could eat one. She broke a tooth.   

       I could gnaw enough holes in ripstop nylon to suck out the chocolatey goodness and taste the nougatty sweetness and ... excuse me, I have to go get something out of my freezer.
baconbrain, Oct 09 2010
  

       [baconbrain] I'm killed!
Boomershine, Oct 09 2010
  

       //I could gnaw enough holes in ripstop nylon ...//   

       So, for [baconbrain] we might need some Kevlar wrapping, or mesh steel. Wait! We'll put candy inside this big safe in a shark tank...We'll win this War on Overeating yet!
Boomershine, Oct 09 2010
  

       These would probably appeal to the macho, survivalist types who get their jollies from overcoming adversity and "accidentally" breaking things that are meant to survive robust treatment.
infidel, Oct 09 2010
  

       The bar could still be consumed by holding in the mouth until the chocolate liquified, and started to permeate through the weave. Chocolate melts below the body temperature of humans.
8th of 7, Oct 09 2010
  

       //Chocolate melts below the body temperature of humans.//   

       [8th]Listen to me! Listen to me! Snap out of it!!   

       Did you forget the safe in the COLD water with the sharks?
Boomershine, Oct 09 2010
  

       By the way, isn't this already done on Chupa-Chups? They're bloody near impossible to get into, without some sort of tools.
infidel, Oct 09 2010
  

       /////pocket knives// These would be served as snacks on airplanes.// Bad idea//   

       1) All art aspires to the condition of Muzak
2) Godwin's law
3) As we approach the heat death of the Universe, all HB ideas become the same idea, namely "Deliberately Misunderstand the Last Person."
mouseposture, Oct 09 2010
  

       1) All humor aspires to the condition of the HB   

       2) Jutta's law (or Somebody's Law)   

       3) As we approach the heat death of the Universe, all HB ideas become the same idea, namely "Deliberately Misunderstand the Last Person."
Boomershine, Oct 09 2010
  

       sp. //////
pocmloc, Oct 09 2010
  

       //sp. ////// // I die. In response to my carelessness, [pocmloc] realizes the quantum nit: the smallest possible point on which to engage in nit- picking*. The Universe implodes. All die. Oh, the embarassment.   

       *That's particle physics. In string theory, it would be the quantum hair, than which no thinner can be split.
mouseposture, Oct 09 2010
  

       Glad to be of service, [MP], in hastening the heat death of the Universe. Regarding this idea, I would have thought that the weak point was the seal at the ends. I always prefer, rather than shearing the end seal longitudinally (as instructed to often on the packaging), to pinch and pull perpendicular to the sealed end, so (attempting to) separate the sealed surfaces. It seems to me that the seal of the rip-stop nylon would either be gentle, in which case it would separate, or harsh, in which case there is a higher probability of tearing along the edge of the seal.
pocmloc, Oct 10 2010
  

       To be honest, the only inspiration for this idea was a particularly stubborn Reese's wrapper, which I then exploited for irony's sake and spiced up a little with some vague excuse for its purpose. Sortof like what they do in marketing.
RayfordSteele, Oct 10 2010
  

       //Sort of like what they do in marketing.//   

       "Sort of" is the phrase you need to operate on a bit, [RS]. On the other hand, my favorite HB ideas, by far, are the ones that get a series of annos like the ones here.   

       I've been withholding my bun till just this moment. [+]
Boomershine, Oct 10 2010
  

       // the quantum nit: the smallest possible point on which to engage in nit- picking //   

       [marked-for-implosion]
8th of 7, Oct 10 2010
  

       Sortofsortofsortofsortof sortofofsortofsortof sortofsortofsortofsortof sortofsortofsortof kindasorta.   

       Someone's gotta give the pe(n)dants something to do.
RayfordSteele, Oct 15 2010
  
      
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