Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Rocking Chair Nut Cracker Attachment Therapy

rock chair and crack nuts
  (+6, -1)
(+6, -1)
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Rocking Chair Nut Cracker Attachment Therapy is a process that involves a device you can fix unto the base of most rocking chairs.

The device consists of:
a hopper to contain the nuts
a simple gate, that allows one nut at a time to tumble unto the crushing platform
a sweeper that clears the broken debris unto a small removable tray.

The special component is of course the setting gauge, which controls the amount of force delivered to each nut, so that it is not simply reduced to a paste consisting of its shell plus contents. This works by continuously adjusting the gap between the two runners and the base, so that there is just the right amount of space needed to crack the shell of each nut.

Harnessing the reciprocating motion of the chair controls all of the mechanical actions. The downward force of the constricting gap between the changing angle of the runner and the base delivers the crushing force.

Research at a well known sanatorium has shown that a gently rocking patient can successfully crush a hundred weight of mixed nuts during a morning session.

xenzag, Aug 27 2010

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       not clear on how this helps children form healthy bonds with their parents, which puts it about par with most attachment therapies IMHO.
WcW, Aug 27 2010
  

       In addition to not helping children form healthy bonds with their parents, this also provides a supply of shelled nuts. So it's clearly superior to other attachement therapies. There should be a government-funded program to promote it.
mouseposture, Aug 28 2010
  

       This will form an unhealthy dependency. On chairs. And it may contain nuts.
Ian Tindale, Aug 28 2010
  

       [WcW] and [mouse], it is probably a healthier bond attachment than the time honored "...come on over here and pull grandpa's finger..."   

       Bun [+]. Pass the nuts, please.
Grogster, Aug 28 2010
  

       The rocker could power the mechanism, which should be mounted in the armrest.   

       As the rocker moves gently backwards and forwards, it operates a pushrod, which turns a crank and some gearing. This causes a "hammer" to move slowly down on a slightly concave "anvil", crushing the nut placed thereon; on pressing a release lever, the hammer is released and flips up, allowing access to the now de-shelled kernel.
8th of 7, Aug 28 2010
  
      
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