Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Clearly this is a metaphor for something.

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Rotachairs

(Further) Immaturity for the masses
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Throughout the ages the humble chair has been evolving: its legs have grown into one stalk-like support: it has grown knobs, gears and gas cylinders. One thing, however, sets the modern office chair apart from other forms of seating – rotation.

The era of the next generation office chair has come. No longer will one's feet be at the mercy of the supports of doom, no longer will one's circular momentum be ended by the sickening crunch of mangled metatarsal, for the answer is upon us: motorisation.

A simple motor, running 'round gears mounted at the base of the central 'stalk' could initiate and maintain a steady rotation, the speed being adjusted by a dial on one of the arms. Power could be provided by a sliding bush at the base, or by a cord-free recharging battery system for those whom still wish to scud across the floor.

Not only could this system be used for the intimidating rotation of crime lords as they address business associates, it could be adjusted to speeds equalling those bizarre teacup rides, or smoothly slowed to provide a base for pain-free idle muse.

Safety overrides could be implemented or the pentapedal supports could be merged into a stool-esque cone shaped base. For extra comfort a small rotating footrest could be added or, for those who like their rotation nausea-inducing, a seatbelt.

The relative simplicity of the motorisation would make it accessible to all, kits could even be sold to add the function to any rotating chair.

Extreme Tomato, Aug 01 2005

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