Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Inanimals

Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Inanimals
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According to the RSPCA, they are sometimes called out to investigate smoke alarms, plastic crocodiles, garden ornaments and plastic owls sitting on roofs. Sadly, the RSPCA do not consider it within their remit to prevent cruelty to inanimals such as these, only animals.

As a panpsychist and hylozoist, I consider this to be severely kingdomist in a manner which is severely out of step with social justice. Therefore I propose the establishment of an RSPCI, charged by the Queen to investigate and prosecute instances of cruelty to inanimals. The recent spate of gnome kidnappings is a case in point and people frequently get away scott-free with taking the batteries out of smoke alarms, well, until their houses burn down anyway. Negligent phone owners often allow the screens to get cracked and we all know people who pick up headphones and chargers by their cables. If someone did that to a cat they would rightly be prosecuted. Speaking of which, who has ever been shamed on the internet for putting a tin can in a bin? Don't even get me started on those who grab laptops by their displays and swivel them round.

If people were treated in the same way after cruelty to inanimals as they were when they're cruel to animals, they could be fined or banned from owning such an entity ever again, and yet we accept people who throw away smartphones and tissues as upstanding members of society. This must end, and the RSPCI is needed to do the job. After all, there are many more inanimals than there are animals.

Leave the R off the beginning if you're republican incidentally - I wouldn't want to be reported to the RSPCR for this after all. Or the RSPCR for that matter.

nineteenthly, Jan 16 2017


       [+] but there's some inanimals that really deserve it.
FlyingToaster, Jan 16 2017

       I read this, and can't help thinking we should generalise further towards an RSPFE.   

       Royal Society for the Prevention of the Furthering of Entropy.   

       In this way, rather than pushing the concept of "cruelty" onto inanimate objects, we instead take the more neutrally-charged idea of Entropy Reduction and bring that into the realm of living creatures, plants and so-on.   

       We can still keep the concept of cruelty where appropriate, without potentially devaluing it by applying it to toasters, biscuits and jam-jars - except where some case for a non-immediate long-form of entropy reduction is successfully lodged, where for example breaking bottles in the process of recycling glass is deemed ethical within the wider context.   

       Unhelpfully, this contextual argument puts us right where we started in the first place, in terms of applying a permissive framework regards, for example egg-cruelty within an omelette context.
zen_tom, Jan 16 2017

       It really is time for us arrogant animates to check our privilege. Oh yea, just because we can walk and think and breathe we're better than a rock? Explain that to me. I would argue that the rock is truly in tune with nature and causes no harm and is therefore SUPERIOR to animates.   

       The sad thing is you could probably get a solid 25 percent of the population seriously on board with this concept. Our civilization is currently in its, I'll call it "ripe" stage.
doctorremulac3, Jan 16 2017

       Just no, no, no to the idea. I already have guilt issues when it comes to inanimate objects. I see a dropped ball-point pen in the street, and imagine it feeling woeful and forlorn that its one purpose in life has been thwarted. So, I pick it up. This sort of thing is my only particularly irrational thought-pattern, and it does not need encouraging. In fact, [nineteenthly], I can't help but wonder whether you are, in fact, a ball-point pen trying to subvert your human overlords.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 22 2017


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