Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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"Bun is such a sad word, is it not?" -- Watt, "Waiting for Godot"

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Rubbish Monks

Bin zen
  (+7, -3)
(+7, -3)
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Rudiger Bigglestone ambled down the street on the way to work, dropping his chocolate wrapper on the floor without a second thought. He was about to turn the corner when a barely audible *swish* caused him to turn around. The street was empty - and the wrapper gone. He thought nothing of it and continued on his way.
During lunch break, some sandwich packets were added to the general detritus of the city floor - and an empty chip packet and a soft drink can by dinner time. Each time Rudiger turned - he was greeted by the retreating form of a small person turning a corner, or vanishing into the crowds.
The buzz of his alarm roused Rudiger from the warmth of sleep, he clambered shivering out of bed, and drew back the curtains. Glancing downwards, he saw that his garden was littered with...well...litter. It must have been those bloody kids - honestly they have no respect!
Leaving again for work, Rudiger kicked the litter out onto the pavement - the bin men would probably pick it up - after all, it is their job. A low pitched muttering was heard, but on turning he found just an empty street.
The next morning, Rudiger wakes to a garden with even more rubbish obscuring it, starting to get angry he runs outside and kicks the rubbish onto the road. He goes back inside and is about to close the door when the grumble reaches his ears again. He leaps back out the door and searches through his hedge, dragging out a little wizened old man by the scruff of his neck. The man is dressed in a simple brown robe and is carrying a broom in one hand and a bag in the other - labelled "Rudiger Bigglestone". "What are you doing!?" Rudiger yelled, exasperated. "Everything has it's rightful place" Spake the monk, "You just needed to be taught". With that profound statement, the monk strolled into the morning mist and was gone.
fridge duck, Oct 26 2005

Lu-Tze http://www.ie.lspac...whos-who/lutze.html
[po, Oct 26 2005]

[link]






       Great story. Bad invention.
Akabaka, Oct 26 2005
  

       Rubbish karma, perhaps?
Adze, Oct 26 2005
  

       Hate litter louts [+].   

       In the square mile they have abolished bins (potential bomb dumps) and replaced them with street sweepers. I still find it hard to drop stuff on the ground.
wagster, Oct 26 2005
  

       Get yourself some disposable rubbish packing trousers.
skinflaps, Oct 26 2005
  

       + because I hate litter bugs. But I'm not sure this would really teach them. I believe littering is basically a sign of disrespect for the planet, and those who occupy it. To change this character trait would be very difficult.   

       Perhaps we could dump them in the desert, and pour a large volume of crude oil over them. Not sure why I thought of that, but sounds like a real pain in the arse if it happened every time you dropped a ciggarette butt on the ground !!   

       In Japan, there are bugger all bins in the streets (usually only found outside convenience stores and next to vending machines), yet there is also bugger all litter. This is surely a sign of discipline, obedience, and respect. Oh, and they also recycle everything. No landfill. Cool.
JoeyJoJoShabadoo, Oct 26 2005
  

       Bun. Because on leaving my train last night some complete TOSSER kid threw his 2-litre drink bottle into a tree. These are others there, so presumably he does this every day. Around 15 train leavers saw him do it, all scowled,all muttered, but no-one clipped him round the ear or emptied their rubbish into his furry parka hood, which was so temptingly left open. We were all too British to say a thing.
rubyminky, Oct 26 2005
  

       There was a bin right next to him, I might add. Aaargh it's making me angry again.
rubyminky, Oct 26 2005
  

       John Lone really doesn't fit my mental image of lu-tze.
fridge duck, Oct 26 2005
  

       These exist at BurningMan, where MOOP, or Matter Out Of Place, is not allowed. Only we're not nearly as nice about it if we see it happen. Generally they get the message fast. It works there.
Novysan, Oct 26 2005
  

       However much I hate The Order of the LL (Litter Louts), is this not a WIBNI rant?
silverstormer, Oct 26 2005
  

       Ever read the book "Sick Puppy?"
bristolz, Oct 27 2005
  

       Can't say I ever have, why?
fridge duck, Oct 27 2005
  

       Comparing "Rubbish Monk" to Twilly Spree is spot-on, [bristolz].
jurist, Oct 27 2005
  
      
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