Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Running Blind

Order a biplane for bipolar disorder.
  (+3, -2)
(+3, -2)
  [vote for,

The circumstances that preceded getting stuck in the tree were not so complex as the construction of the suit that I had been wearing before it got caught up in the branches, and I fell to the ground outside the sorority house nude, where I now find myself, officer.

It all started the other day at the amphitheatre when a couple standing behind me observed, in their own words, that I "make for a better door than window". Since I was not immediately familiar with this idiom, I took offence and stormed away after calling out a curse on both of their houses, if in fact they had separate domiciles. I can't be sure, but I'd certainly make them eat their words!

I arrived at the blinds store, still irate, and requested blinds best designed in accordance with Bernoulli's principle. These were provisioned immediately and without question by the knowledgeable blinds specialist. I then fashioned these appropriately aerodynamic blinds into a a fine streamlined suit. By using the same mechanism provided for drawing the blinds I could easily control the pitch of what in effect became many wings.

To make a long story short, doctor, as I was telling the officer outside the sorority house, I decided to show off my new suit in front of the ladies, but it generated such substantial lift that I ended up in a tree. It was only then as I was gazing into the house before me, that I came to appreciate the transparent properties of windows relative to doors, and thus the meaning of the remark that precipitated this ordeal.

As you can see, it's all been a great misunderstanding, magistrate.

rcarty, Mar 14 2011

Winged Suit http://www.suckered...-squirrel-suits.jpg
[rcarty, Mar 14 2011]

Blinds http://www.windowbl...dow-blind-pulls.jpg
[rcarty, Mar 14 2011]

Phillips Multiplane http://www.fiddlers...ps_multiplane-2.jpg
[mitxela, Mar 14 2011]

good flight technology history resource http://firstflight....ips_aircraft01.html
[rcarty, Mar 14 2011]

Close http://www.writeups..._flight_suit_h1.jpg
[rcarty, Mar 14 2011]

Jade Monkey http://www.jeweloft...ade_monkey_1055.jpg
[ytk, Mar 20 2011]


       non idea (-) entertaining (+)
Voice, Mar 14 2011

       The idea is a winged suit designed like window blinds.   

       You must find the jade monkey before the next full moon.   

       Where jade monkey is a link to the idea described.
rcarty, Mar 14 2011

       Before this court can venturi an opinion on your magnus opus we need an order of facts: You stated that aileron you got into a bit of a flap, coanda nother thing, you took off for the nearest purveyor of blinds, all the rage as I understand. After requisitioning said items you then rolled on down to a sorority house to show the ladies, whom, it must be said, were over-yawed at your attempts of haute couture.   

       Innocent, I proclaim. I will not spill the blood of a laminar.
4whom, Mar 14 2011

       The moon is full and still no jade monkey. I was hoping the closer moon produced some anti-Earth gravity.
rcarty, Mar 20 2011

       /The moon is full and still no jade monkey./   

       (Link) Sorry! It was on my desk under some papers and I totally forgot about it. My bad.   

       /I was hoping the closer moon produced some anti-Earth gravity./   

       If it helps any, I jumped yesterday and it felt like I was a little higher than usual.   

       I also managed to jump a bit further off the ground.
ytk, Mar 20 2011

       Knock knock.
"I can't come to the door, I'm naked. Who is it?"
"Blind man."
"Oh, in that case, come in."
"Thanks. Where d'you want the blinds?"
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 20 2011

       "I told you I keep them in that case, are you deaf too?"
rcarty, Mar 22 2011


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