Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Sanctioned False Idols

Winnie the Pooh Plastic Plate with Two Apple Cider Donuts on it
  (+3, -2)
(+3, -2)
  [vote for,

I have a real problem lately with people and their lazy use of language without having the first idea of the origin of a word or phrase or any awareness of how ugly the meaning of these things that are said can really be.

Have you ever heard people swear “I swear to God” “I swear on my mother” I once heard “I swear on my children s eyes” this upset me, what a thing to say.

If only there were a set of or the possibility to swear on a real tangible thing that you could give up or lose if caught in a lie.

Apps are to a Smart Phone what Sanctioned False Idols are to a Religious Institution

As religions battle for worshipers Sanctioned False Idols can be a way to win over a massive amount of market share- I mean hearts and minds and make a lot of money.

I would like to bring a Winnie the Pooh Plastic plate with Two Apple Cider Donuts on it to a church, synagogue or other format religious facility pay a fee have a ceremony and have it officially certified.

One could bring anything they like and have it made official, stuffed animals like the kind you see tied to truck bumpers, a butterfly collection in a glass case, crowns, chess pieces or pine cones you name it.

This way I can now in conversation say “I swear on my Winnie the Pooh Plastic Plate with Two Apple Cider Donuts on it” and it would really mean something and it would belong to me and I could use my expression of commitment without risking blasphemy, harm to someone’s grandmother or the eyesight of children etc...

Imagine how special this would make a thing Under strict regulation object worship could have an positive global social impact.

vfrackis, Mar 13 2014


       Sp Pooh
rcarty, Mar 13 2014

       all set thanks
vfrackis, Mar 13 2014

       Does the certification cover just one religion, or all of them? If we take our sacred USS Enterprise Technical Manual to a Nonconformist Chapel, would it still be valid in a Mosque, or a Gurdwara ?
8th of 7, Mar 13 2014

       This is the best idea I've read here for ages - I swear on [8th]'s house.
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 13 2014

       you should have just made this idea about 3d printing a line of hindu style idols that were inspired by winnie the poo characters targeted towards an audience of hindus that buy this kind of thing.   

       you want your idols in someone elses temple. that's not how that works. and to the extent secular culture of entertainment is a religion of consumptionism----winne the poo and his imagery --- they already are childrens idols.   


       you made this too complex and indirect. boned. p.s. the dao of poo book , a guide to stoicism dressed up as 'eastern philosphy' would be helpful to you in taking a stoic approach to religion. it's not all bad . and someone's gotta make money off religion just like osmeone' s gotta make money off anything and almost everything that human beings do.   

       so get back to the drawing board on this. but i like where it's coming from. but try harder.
teslaberry, Mar 14 2014

       Celebrities andor their cause de celebre: allows for coarse and fine shading the strength/polarity of the oath, familiar to witnesses.
FlyingToaster, Mar 14 2014

       winnie the pooh and donuts really have entirely nothing to do with this   

       I want my own commitment phrase, when i say in conversation "i swear on my winnie the pooh plastic plate with two apple cider donuts on it" people will know i'm serious this process is only meant to lend gravity or credence to my statement   

       I don't think that the certification would be valid if your certified USS Enterprise Technical Manual false idol were brought to a to a Nonconformist Chapel or a Mosque, or a Gurdwara. If you brought it to one of these places you might get thrown out , but then you may also be able to have it certified there and achieve compound false idol certifications thus making it all the more valuable.
vfrackis, Mar 14 2014

       I like this idea so much I'm not even going to defend it. Bun.
Alterother, Mar 14 2014

       // more valuable //   

       Tautology; since it is already priceless, its value cannot be increased.
8th of 7, Mar 14 2014

       // I once heard “I swear on my children s eyes” this upset me, what a thing to say//   

       If uttered to sanction a lie then the teller should have the result of the sworn oath visited upon themselves.
If telling the truth then I see no blasphemy in saying this, as you already know your childrens' eyes are in no danger from these words.

       I tend to swear things I'm sure of upon my own eyesight... but that's just me.   

       A woman once swore to me on her childrens lives. And then broke the promise. As for the idea, [+]
Voice, Sep 17 2022


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