Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Product: Tool: Autonomous
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So I spent all day yesterday sanding live edge slabs and posts for a table I'm building and today I'm all cricked in the shoulder blades.

This makes me want to combine an orbital sander with a roomba so that it sands on its own while I do something other than vibrate the feeling out of my hands.
Programmed settings let you choose whether the roomba travels in-line with the grain of the wood, against it, or on a completely random path.
Stackable weights control how much pressure is applied and a level sensor tells the device where to spend more time on higher spots.

Welcome to Zombie-Land. https://imgur.com/gallery/tEoI5je
Please watch your step. [2 fries shy of a happy meal, Sep 23 2020]


       Wouldn't it make more economic sense to buy prepared lumber direct from the supplier ?
8th of 7, Sep 21 2020

       Yes it would take far less work but my wife wanted to choose the slab for its cracks and character so that we can fill them with coloured epoxy and do even more sanding.

       Sometimes I wish that she had never found Pintrest...   

       A chainsaw roomba would be handy.....to let loose at the next Trump hillbilly rally.[+]
xenzag, Sep 21 2020

       // chainsaw roomba //   

       We'll take six dozen.   

       // my wife wanted to choose //   

       Ahhhh ... now, there's your problem, right there.   

       // I wish that she had never found Pintrest //   

       At least that's only looking at pictures, tho that can still be pretty bad. You haven't done anything truly stupid, like teaching her to read, have you ? You do know that women's heads can explode if you do that ?   

       Just a wild idea here, but couldn't you teach your wife to use the sander ? It would take a while - many human females struggle with complex tools, like spoons and doorknobs, but with patience and endless repetition progress can sometimes be made.   

       Then you could leave her to do the actual work while you sit back in a comfy chair and sip a beer. Don't forget to tell her in excruciating detail how and why she's doing it wrong, and also to tick the box for "interment" or "cremation" so they know what to do with your mangled corpse.
8th of 7, Sep 21 2020

       This is a great idea, especially if combined with a laser guide to allow you to set a level to sand to. [+]

However, I see it's being proposed as something to facilitate the filling of interesting cracked chunks of wood with nasty epoxy resin. For some reason I keep seeing people do this on social media and it looks terrible and seems to me to be a sure-fire way of killing any character the wood once had. [-]
The only acceptable crack-filler for nice bits of wood is the gradual filling-in of cracks and dents with beeswax as a result of centuries of careful polishing.

Everyone's nickname for their Sandroomba™ is inevitably going to be "Sandra" [+]
hippo, Sep 21 2020

       [2 fries] wife is called Sandra, then ?   

       // especially if combined with a laser guide to allow you to set a level to sand to //   

       Yes, that might make it easier for her.
8th of 7, Sep 21 2020

       As always, for every ointment there is a fly, and once again it’s [kdf] that buzzes in, shits on the butter then buzzes off again.
xenzag, Sep 21 2020

       Isn't that a rather mixed metaphor, even for you ?   

       And providing a link to an existing product is not "shitting on the butter". It's drawing readers' attention to Prior Art, which is fair and reasonable and quite laudable.   

       <Notes apparent niceness to [kdf] in previous paragraph/>   

       <Choking and spluttering/>
8th of 7, Sep 21 2020

       8th, take your meds before I say something I shouldn't and feel bad. I'm guaranteed at home because 2 coworkers tested positive and are sick at home. Very sick.   

       So bottom line, be nice to us females and stop acting like a senseless butt head.
blissmiss, Sep 21 2020

       Sniggers as 8th gets a tongue lashing......
xenzag, Sep 21 2020

       I'm not touching that ^ one...   

       My wife's name isn't Sandra.
She sanded as long as I did.
[hippo] I totally agree. Maybe I could get you to have a word with her?...
[kdf] none of those links is a roaming sander.

       "Mobile" services like car tuning, dog grooming, hairdressing and tyre repair already exist, so there's an unexploited niche for a mobile wood-sanding service...   

       Install a set of planers, saws, sanders and routers in the back of a large truck, add a PTO generator to the gearbox, and you're in business.
8th of 7, Sep 22 2020

       //Maybe I could get you to have a word with her?...//

[Mrs happy meal] Think of it like this: In 5 years' time an epoxy-filled bit of wood will, like all the thousands of copycat epoxy-filled bits of wood around the world, look irredeemably as scuffed, tired and out-of-fashion as a 1990's tower CD rack, whereas a nicely oiled, waxed and polished bit of wood will still look like a nicely oiled, waxed and (slightly more) polished bit of wood.

[8th] - I agree with [bliss] - you should delete much of what you've said in your annotations on this idea.
hippo, Sep 22 2020

       //chainsaw roomba//   

       Of course, you'd have to change the algorithm from "cover the accessible open space" to "extend the accessible open space".   

       For [8th]'s use cases, you'd probably need some sort of reverse-trolley-problem reasoning. But that's only after you'd solved the old "homicidal chauffeur" problem, known to anti-missile-missile engineers.
pertinax, Sep 22 2020

       {one-minute's silence to mark the spot where [MB] would have made a joke about chauffeurs}
pertinax, Sep 22 2020

       Didn't work [hippo]. She says that if she gets tired of it we will use it in the common area gazebo I will need to build for it...   

       I'm just gonna quit while I'm ahead I think.   

       Oh yeah, [wagster] asked if I was going to document any of bringing this Zombie property back to life and I told him that there would be time for that until I tackled the Zombie mall in the fall.   

       Well, it is, I have, and if anyone is interested to see a couple of my work days compressed into a few minutes check out this [link].   

       Ah well... Maybe you should also make a nicely oiled and waxed bit of wood and secretly store it somewhere ready to whip out and replace the epoxy-filled wood with when that starts to look scuffed and old.

Great video!
hippo, Sep 24 2020

       I might start up a new trend of filling up the cracks and scratches in blocks of epoxy resin with a sawdust and plaster mix before sanding and polishing.
xenzag, Sep 24 2020

       We expected you to make some coarse witticism about // ready to whip out // [xen] ...
8th of 7, Sep 24 2020


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