h a l f b a k e r y
"Not baked goods, Professor; baked bads!" -- The Tick
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For instance, if you pull out that usb drive before it's
properly ejected from the desktop, instead of
you: "You've removed the USB drive improperly. Improper
ejecting of USB drive may result in loss of data and
damage to the disk as well as corruption of files."
Same if you shut it down improperly, back up to an
external drive without external power connected etc. In
additions to screams, various moans, gasps of pain and
other histrionics would let you know you're a sucky
My computers evidently think they're horribly put upon by
having ended up with a directions ignoring thug like
so they might as well sound like the tortured entities
||How about an STFU computer? I do what I want, and the computer shuts the **** up.
||Johnny are you watching porn in there?
No, I'm just a very proficient user!
||There could also be a touch sensitive pad on the
side so you can slap the computer when it gets
really hysterical to abort the "screaming program".
Like in old movies where the out of control
person's head stays in the position it was slapped
into and they immediately stop ranting, as if
getting physically assaulted has some kind of
soothing effect. The monitor similarly would twist
to the side and stop it's cryin'.
||This wouldn't be the misogynist, "strong pimp-
hand bitch slap". More the old movie, guy on the
crashing airplane loosing it "Snap out of it man!"
slap some sense into the guy slap.
||The "Thanks, I needed that" kind of slap if you
||This can be set of very easily in the control panel of most Windows PCs. Control Panel --> sounds and audio devices --> sounds -->create new sound scheme.
||[-] - this idea promotes entirely the wrong attitude, that your computer is always right and should be allowed to intimidate you. Instead, the
on-screen message about removing the USB drive incorrectly and warning that this may lead to data loss should be in a dialog box where one of the buttons reads "No it won't, you stupid machine - or at least it wouldn't if you did your job properly." - clicking this button will allow you to show the machine who's boss.
||If I make a mistake, I just scream myself.
||If this were the case my computer might as well have been made by Edvard Munch.