Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Second-skin garments for airports

You're not patting me down!
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Last time you tried to get through airport security you got stopped and a fowl smelling airport security official gave you a thorough pat-down taking too much time in certain areas of your body. Well, that's the last time it happened to you. Just buy our second-skin garment for airports and nobody will ever be able to argue that you may carry concealed objects under your clothes. The suit is very tight to the body and transparent everywhere except in one some very obvious areas. There's no way you can carry anything between the suit and your body which would not make it evident, so there's really no excuse to demand a pat-down.

And remember: today's ridiculous is tomorrow's fashionable.

PauloSargaco, Feb 14 2013

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       Fine, as long as they don't then spend as long on the only remaining concealed parts.
TomP, Feb 14 2013
  

       Technically, wouldn't the suit itself qualify as a concealed object?
Alterother, Feb 14 2013
  

       I dunno... I remember some futuristic TV shows where the today's ridiculous looked like tomorrow's even more ridiculous.
RayfordSteele, Feb 14 2013
  

       [21] is it? I have no idea, last time I was at an US airport was 1996. Way before all the TSA talk started. I just read an article on the subject today and the idea popped up in my head.
PauloSargaco, Feb 14 2013
  

       [21], you're right. People just don't appreciate the value of some good ol' intercontinental travel by boat. Always in a hurry!
PauloSargaco, Feb 14 2013
  

       [Ray], between you and me, I'm with you 100%. But do you really need to bust my sales pitch?
PauloSargaco, Feb 14 2013
  

       I have a strong suspicion that the procedure for the pat-down is quite tightly specified, and that you'd get the same treatment even if you were naked (were it not for the fact that wouldn't have made it as far as security).
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 14 2013
  

       [21] That's not fair! It's the first time I bitch about the subject. I'm afraid I'm not letting go of the 20 years of bitching everyone has been entitled to.
PauloSargaco, Feb 14 2013
  

       sp. foul
rcarty, Feb 14 2013
  

       The price of freedom is eternal griping, [21Q]. If people stopped complaining about it, it wouldn't be long before they'd require a strip search, anal probe, and blood test just to get on the bus.   

       Think about past security measures that have been relaxed because they were too onerous or difficult to implement without unduly burdening travelers. If nobody ever complained about them, there'd be no reason to reevaluate them.
ytk, Feb 14 2013
  

       I thought this was going to be a lifelike prosthetic body suit, which concealed guns, bombs, drugs and Kindersurprise eggs, in a way that could not be detected even by a strip search.
pocmloc, Feb 14 2013
  

       I am ok with it as long as Paulo posts video featuringhim busting out his protoype suit. I envision a driving euro dance beat, and he struts unmolested past the line of sullen and pudget US travelers and TSA workers.   

       At the bridge (of the music) a TSA worker approaches but Paulo waggles his finger, presses a button - pause in the music - and the whole suit becomes transparent, revealing his full body tattoos depicting chapters 7 and 9 of the Kama sutra.   

       Then everybody dances and the planes fly loop-de-loops!
bungston, Feb 14 2013
  

       <Loud, Sardonic Voiceover>
People of Walmart, coming to an airport near you!
</LSV>
UnaBubba, Feb 14 2013
  

       Well, obviously it's best if all the travellers just go naked, but blindfolded to protect everyone else's privacy on the flight.   

       I feel a post coming on...
not_morrison_rm, Feb 15 2013
  

       That's called "rendition", [nmrm].
UnaBubba, Feb 15 2013
  

       [21], I couldn't care less about TSA. The reason why my last time in a US airport was in 1996 is because I live in Europe. US is not *our* country. So could you accept the fact that this idea applies to any airport in the whole freakin' world where security officials carefully and professionally fondle people's genitalia looking for concealed weapons of mass destruction?
PauloSargaco, Feb 15 2013
  

       [bungston], I would love nothing but. If only I could get my hands on a sewing machine...
PauloSargaco, Feb 15 2013
  

       [21] I don't know the details of what organization manages airport security in Portugal, but I now find that irrelevant because the true sense of your words downed on me and I can feel my eyes welling up with tears. I just realized that when you mentioned "our country" you were referring to a universal country where all people are unified by brotherly love and a willingness to accept having strangers grope their intimate parts in the name of security and snug underwear. Bless you for that.
PauloSargaco, Feb 15 2013
  

       I have been welled up with tears myself ever since I too realized that is what 21Q means. And what he has always meant.
bungston, Feb 15 2013
  

       I haven't travelled through any US airports for several years, but at least in the UK and in those countries I travel to, security wasn't so bad. What does annoy me is that every security breach causes a knee- jerk reaction specific to that threat. So, if someone is found trying to use liquid explosives - ban liquids. If someone has a bomb in their shoe - check all shoes. If someone tries to make a book-shaped bomb, they'll ban books.   

       It's like designing body armour based on where the bullets hit - yes, we need a half-inch diameter protector here on the back of the head, and another one here just below the left shoulder...
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 15 2013
  

       Actually a rather simple solution: cancel prepayment options and put the ticket counters on the runway side of the security process.   

       Watch how fast they clean up their act when the airlines don't get their money until their customers have been screened.
FlyingToaster, Feb 15 2013
  

       //resign yourself to the fact that an occasional groping (and it IS occasional at worst...)//   

       I don't mind a pat-down - it's not a particularly invasive experience. I get annoyed by delays, because it is not beyond the wit of man to provide more and better facilities. And I get annoyed by over-specific regulations.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 15 2013
  

       [21] I'm terribly sorry I've accidentally deleted your last comment. honestly, I was browsing on my mobile and pressed delete by accident. you know, touchscreens and all.
PauloSargaco, Feb 15 2013
  

       Don't worry - the government will have a copy of it somewhere.
MaxwellBuchanan, Feb 15 2013
  

       This has unexpectedly reminded me of the circle of evil thing a few days ago, because there could be people whose bodies appear to be a common shape but they are in fact amputees or have other bits missing which are replaced with naughty items which are however cleverly disguised to look like body parts on scanning, like those guns in Existenz (which, i "hate" to tell you, was rubbish), then they put a body stocking over it and all is concealed, just like evil objects tesselate perfectly before getting hit by an asteroid (and incidentally, who'd've thought it?)
nineteenthly, Feb 16 2013
  

       noted [21], my apologies.
PauloSargaco, Feb 16 2013
  

       Thanks for the HU, [19thly]. The trailer obviously oversells it.
Alterother, Feb 16 2013
  
      
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