Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Silence on hold

I've got better shit to listen to
  (+7, -3)
(+7, -3)
  [vote for,

Or concentrate on.
theleopard, Mar 19 2012


       This, plus letting it ring when it's ringing - I'd rather be given the choice to allow the phone to simply ring, than be told by a machine (at my expense) that my call is important to it, and that I'm in a queue, and someone will be with me shortly. And while it *is* more satisfying to hang up indignantly on the machine than just letting it ring off the hook, I don't think that's the effect they are working on.
zen_tom, Mar 19 2012

       Think of it: You're in the office working on something but need to call your electricity provider to have an engineer called out to fix the coupling in your underground lab – whatever. If the hold is silent, you can put it on speaker! Just pick up when you hear the hello. No one has to get angry at you for hearing the crackly drone of telephonic elevator music, and you can concentrate on whatever it is you're doing. Bliss!
theleopard, Mar 19 2012

       Hang on - the phone's gone dead. Must be broken.
Loris, Mar 19 2012

       "We will now put you on hold. The phone will remain silent for your pleasure until we can take your call. Thank you for your patience."
theleopard, Mar 19 2012

       Sounds good to me.
DrBob, Mar 19 2012

       [+] Especially since cell phone compression doesn't handle music well, and it sounds absolutely horrible. Possible a very quiet white noise would be acceptable so you can tell it's still active if you decide to check it.
MechE, Mar 19 2012

       I need something so I can tell it's still active.
phundug, Mar 19 2012

       The system could be set up with a voice- or sound-detector, so that if you shout "Hello? is there anybody there?" down the line at the silent on-hold non-noise, it replies "ssh! You're on hold!" and then goes silent again.
pocmloc, Mar 19 2012

       //it replies "ssh! You're on hold!"// Yes. [+]
mouseposture, Mar 19 2012

simonj, Mar 19 2012

       ^nearly woke my wife up laughing.
Alterother, Mar 20 2012

       You know [Alterother]'s wife?
AusCan531, Mar 20 2012

       All the people on hold should be able to talk to one another, in a huge angry chatroom.
zen_tom, Mar 20 2012

       Don't calls get disconnected after a while if there's no sound?   

       If not, it's an excellent idea.
Gordon Comstock, Mar 20 2012

       //Don't calls get disconnected after a while if there's no sound ?//   

       I don't think so, but if they do, this could transmit the lowest possible sound, barely audible, but that keeps it ticking over. How's that?
theleopard, Mar 20 2012

       //All the people on hold should be able to talk to one another, in a huge angry chatroom.//   

       [ZT] You should post that as a separate idea. Unfortunately, it would probably work in the company's favor, as half the people will solve the other half's problems.
MechE, Mar 20 2012

       [+] [zen_tom]'s idea.
FlyingToaster, Mar 20 2012

       I get lonely, need the voice. (neutral.)
blissmiss, Mar 20 2012

       What's wrong with your own?
Alterother, Mar 20 2012

       People call you insane if you sit and talk to yourself on the phone. I don't need to give them anymore ammunition.
blissmiss, Mar 20 2012

       Hang up and the telephone connects itself to a Tannoy system and belts out Herman's Hermits' "There's a Kind of Hush"
skinflaps, Mar 21 2012

       // People call you insane if you sit and talk to yourself on the phone. //   

       People call me insane anway. I take it as a compliment; does that mean it's true?
Alterother, Mar 21 2012

       Well, in formal logic, if p is true, and q is true, then "p implies q" is also true. So, yes, the fact that people call you insane means that you are, in fact, nuts.   

       Quod erat demonstrandum.
mouseposture, Mar 22 2012

       Yeah, well, you can quote Erik Estrada all you like, but it doesn't mean either of you are right.
Alterother, Mar 22 2012

       The best on hold is the silence, followed by a beep or two every 10 seconds or so, just so you know that the receptionist didn't cut you off.
Cedar Park, Mar 26 2012


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