Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Simpleton howtos

Youtube videos explaining things like cutting paper with scissors
  [vote for,

For this type of video you need poor lighting, talk in a funny foreign accent (preferably Indian, South African or Swedish) with at least two words that have key importance, pronounced in a way that the viewers understand what your talking about only at the end.

The presenter gives a long technical and detailed preface including a list of what is needed, with a very serious face, and then finally describes how to cut paper with scissors, how to put a sweater on, or how to turn on the lights with a wall switch.

The presenter then summarizes the video, and points to other similar videos.

You must have loud noises in the background, people yelling, cars honking, and once in a while an airplane landing, so that nothing can be heard at all. At this point the presentation is stopped, the presenter, who is shown from an odd angle, and is never completely in the frame, apologizes for the noise, and continues on in the same voice.

No cats, cellular phones or other distractions are seen, they are only heard in the background.

A real hit would be the "How to skip ads in youtube" youtube video that shows you how after you wait for the "Skip Ad" to appear, you can click the "Skip Ad" and it will skip to the movie you want to see. Those would go in a sub genre of recursive simpleton howtos.

pashute, Apr 30 2015

Making Popcorn Shrimp https://www.youtube...watch?v=B7UmUX68KtE
Somehow I just can't resist linking this.... [Vernon, May 01 2015]

Swedish Meatballs https://www.youtube...watch?v=sY_Yf4zz-yo
Might as well link this, too. [Vernon, May 01 2015]

Flapjacks https://www.youtube...watch?v=MmOdI80sC5U
[Vernon, May 01 2015]

Banana Split https://www.youtube...watch?v=CGws43awAQg
[Vernon, May 01 2015]

Turtle Soup https://www.youtube...watch?v=j1KSaUEu_T4
[Vernon, May 01 2015]

Cooking Eggs https://www.youtube...watch?v=RhRkAzaDuyg
(provided the chicken cooperates) [Vernon, May 01 2015]

Pumpkin Carving https://www.youtube...watch?v=2Qj8PhxSnhg
[Vernon, May 01 2015]

Cookies https://www.youtube...watch?v=E9qqKaYz4bk
[Vernon, May 01 2015]

Poutine https://www.youtube...watch?v=3lOP5sNnvBA
This is a Canadian treat. [Vernon, May 01 2015]

Donuts https://www.youtube...watch?v=mbs64GvGgPU
[Vernon, May 01 2015]

Hot Dogs https://www.youtube...watch?v=AR4JjB0gXOg
[Vernon, May 01 2015]

Hot Sauce https://www.youtube...watch?v=IwGdHAHg0ig
[Vernon, May 01 2015]

Mexican Shrimp Tacos https://www.youtube...watch?v=rvPF8RvOBdY
[Vernon, May 01 2015]

A Whole Meal https://www.youtube...watch?v=O9szl4npVQM
[Vernon, May 01 2015]

Dough https://www.youtube...watch?v=TR2WMN1qYJc
(needed in many different recipes) [Vernon, May 01 2015]

Chocolate Mousse https://www.youtube...watch?v=yAbWQFM4G24
[Vernon, May 01 2015]

Salad https://www.youtube...watch?v=CHL4B5N_Qo0
[Vernon, May 01 2015]

Off topic funny Swedish chef web episode https://www.youtube...watch?v=3KtIBPwaRkk
[pashute, May 07 2015]


       I'm going to stop adding links because there seems to be an endless number of relevant possibilities.
Vernon, May 01 2015

       The Swedish chef from the muppets is funny but not what I was talking about. Any cooking video is something about knowledge that needs to be explained. And in any case Swedish chef video (making popcorn shrimp) is a masterpiece. Notice the music, the timing, the screenplay, the camera work, the choreography, the setting, sound- effects, lighting, that is one piece of invested art.   

       [Edit: Now I saw that all your videos are from the Swedish chef. So no, that's not the idea. Anyways I was happy to see the web episodes, which I was unaware of. Some of them are actually funny]   

       I wonder though about the folding mobile phone he pulls out. Wasn't the muppets on in the 80's? We had a gigantic bulky mobile phone only somewhere around 1998. I think those small folding phones came out only in the 2000's No?
pashute, May 07 2015

       Muppets are still alive and kicking... or at least shuffling their feet occasionally.   

       With no experience, would you be able to instinctively tell what scissors are for ? Could be a compass for scoring a circle into the ground or wood. Could be an ingenious double-knife, which sheathes against itself, protecting the blades, has a spare blade which doubles as a crossguard.   

       An office stapler could be a retro taser.
FlyingToaster, May 07 2015

       There is a Russian who strings together completely disjointed demonstrations of "Life Hacks". It almost seems too complicated
4and20, May 07 2015

       What [Vernon] said.
xandram, May 07 2015

       [pashute], I do confess to having some fun by slightly misinterpreting your main Idea. You might notice that the "Cookies" link actually shows a real recipe, in spite of the antics of the Swedish Chef.   

       About the "popcorn" music, that is an instumental thing that was very popular in the 1970s --a number of artists have created variations on the theme, of which one of the best is the one that the Muppet video used/abused. If you would like the music "straight", seek "Popcorn" by "Hot Butter"
Vernon, May 07 2015


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