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Singularity Amplifier
A groundbreaking amplifier design that uses recent advances in relativistic science to derive its signal amplification from an internal stable point-source singularity. | |
Amplification using a singularity has been, up to this
point,
an unconsidered possibility in the fields of both audio
engineering and nuclear physics. My proposed laser-based
technique injects the audio signal directly at the
singularity with extremely high precision, just outside its
event
horizon. The resultant increase in the frequency of
the audio signal by this technique causes its wavelength
to
be briefly transformed into hard gamma radiation, but
this
is easily translated back into regular audio frequencies
by a
special gamma-maser transcoder.
The localized hard gamma radiation produced in the
amplifier section can be used for the sterilization of
food,
insects and household pets.
The amplification achieved by this process should be on
the order
of 2.3 to the power of 90, and will be the most
distortion-free and dangerous amplification technique
yet found by humans. Another
special technique will allow the injection of stereo audio
signals into the singularity with zero crosstalk caused by
the amplification process.
The stable point-source singularity used in this amplifier
is
an unexpected byproduct of the CERN Large Hadron
Collider, and is available under special license from
CERN. Notea stable point-source singularity differs
from
a mini black hole in one important aspectmini black
holes tend to self-destruct, whereas this special
singularity
appears to be unusually stable. A problem with Higgs
Boson
contamination has nearly been been solved, unless that
last
equation is actually a blot of Hunan sauce.
A simple magnetic bottle should suffice to keep the
singularity in the general area.
Halfbakery: Wall Of Speakers
Wall Of Speakers You could use such an amp to power one of these [zen_tom, May 09 2016]
[link]
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Of course, "singularity" can mean different things, by context. This one is ... a captive Big Bang? |
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Squeaks by without an m-d-f bad science. |
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If you can make two I'll use them as monoblocks in my stereo
system. Ought to be able to fill the entire county with sound. |
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A couple more points about the Singularity Amplifier |
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It will not be offered for sale in states that have active
volcanoes or fault zones. I'm just being prudent here. |
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Once installed, it is recommended that electrical
power to the Singularity Amplifier never be disconnected.
Interruption of power may dislodge the singularity from
the magnetic bottles force fields, which will let it fall
out into your living room. This is inadvisable. |
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Cherenkov radiation may be observed around the
magnetic bottle when playing music with heavy bass
frequencies. This is considered relatively normal and is
not cause for undue alarm. |
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You're pretty firmly in [marked-for-deletion] territory (help file; left side of the page, under meta) unless you do some fancy footwork with the Category by refiling it under movie plot or storyline or something. |
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So add some cool blue LEDs behind stainless-steel scaffolding, lighting up a fish tank containing a metal box with radiation stickers all over it that actually just contains a cheap transistor amplifier. People will throw money at it. |
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But this has nothing on the Phlogistonic Vehemence Attenuator... |
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Y'know, Flying Toaster, I have the feeling that I'm really not
quite right for this site, and that it's not quite right for me. I
think that I'll just post my material on my own sites, instead
of trying to please a group of people that I've pretty much
lost interest in at this point. |
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Oh, do stay. I find this one actually quite funny, if
I'm not sure if I understand it. Is this the system
that Disaster Area uses? |
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The only real rule here [Gizmonic Man] is that your ideas have to be possible... unless you mean for them not to be, in which case they will be ripped apart like bleeding chum in shark infested waters. |
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The 'why'... not so much. |
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//if I'm not sure I understand it// The author is assuming that light bent around a black hole will pick up energy, analgous to a spaceship slingshot manoeuvre. |
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OK, maybe I'm being hasty. I thought I had a handle on the
types of ideas you wanted, but I think i was wrong, so I'll
recalibrate my thinking on this. Thanks, [2 frys]--I
appreciate your feedback. |
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[Gizmonic] you seem to be doing ok as far as I can see - consider an m-f-d a badge of honour, if this were a different site, you'd have received a "badge" for gaining that achievement. |
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As for the idea, I think it's perfectly reasonable to consider using the awesome power of a naked singularity to drive hi-fidelity audio. [+] |
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As well as the help file, I'd also suggest "Krelnik's Guide to the Halfbakery"; in return, perhaps a link to whatever bit of the Idea isn't amusing hyperbole. |
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