Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Singularity Amplifier

A groundbreaking amplifier design that uses recent advances in relativistic science to derive its signal amplification from an internal stable point-source singularity.
  (+3, -1)
(+3, -1)
  [vote for,

Amplification using a singularity has been, up to this point, an unconsidered possibility in the fields of both audio engineering and nuclear physics. My proposed laser-based technique injects the audio signal directly at the singularity with extremely high precision, just outside its event horizon. The resultant increase in the frequency of the audio signal by this technique causes its wavelength to be briefly transformed into hard gamma radiation, but this is easily translated back into regular audio frequencies by a special gamma-maser transcoder.

The localized hard gamma radiation produced in the amplifier section can be used for the sterilization of food, insects and household pets.

The amplification achieved by this process should be on the order of 2.3 to the power of 90, and will be the most distortion-free and dangerous amplification technique yet found by humans. Another special technique will allow the injection of stereo audio signals into the singularity with zero crosstalk caused by the amplification process.

The stable point-source singularity used in this amplifier is an unexpected byproduct of the CERN Large Hadron Collider, and is available under special license from CERN. Note—a stable point-source singularity differs from a mini black hole in one important aspect—mini black holes tend to self-destruct, whereas this special singularity appears to be unusually stable. A problem with Higgs Boson contamination has nearly been been solved, unless that last equation is actually a blot of Hunan sauce.

A simple magnetic bottle should suffice to keep the singularity in the general area.

Gizmonic Man, May 06 2016

Halfbakery: Wall Of Speakers Wall Of Speakers
You could use such an amp to power one of these [zen_tom, May 09 2016]



       Have another chair. [+]
pertinax, May 07 2016

       Of course, "singularity" can mean different things, by context. This one is ... a captive Big Bang?
pertinax, May 07 2016

       Squeaks by without an m-d-f bad science.
Voice, May 07 2016

       If you can make two I'll use them as monoblocks in my stereo system. Ought to be able to fill the entire county with sound.
whatrock, May 07 2016

       A couple more points about the Singularity Amplifier   

       • It will not be offered for sale in states that have active volcanoes or fault zones. I'm just being prudent here.   

       • Once installed, it is recommended that electrical power to the Singularity Amplifier never be disconnected. Interruption of power may dislodge the singularity from the magnetic bottle’s force fields, which will let it fall out into your living room. This is inadvisable.   

       • Cherenkov radiation may be observed around the magnetic bottle when playing music with heavy bass frequencies. This is considered relatively normal and is not cause for undue alarm.
Gizmonic Man, May 08 2016

       You're pretty firmly in [marked-for-deletion] territory (help file; left side of the page, under meta) unless you do some fancy footwork with the Category by refiling it under movie plot or storyline or something.
FlyingToaster, May 08 2016

       So add some cool blue LEDs behind stainless-steel scaffolding, lighting up a fish tank containing a metal box with radiation stickers all over it that actually just contains a cheap transistor amplifier. People will throw money at it.   

       But this has nothing on the Phlogistonic Vehemence Attenuator...
mitxela, May 08 2016

       Y'know, Flying Toaster, I have the feeling that I'm really not quite right for this site, and that it's not quite right for me. I think that I'll just post my material on my own sites, instead of trying to please a group of people that I've pretty much lost interest in at this point.
Gizmonic Man, May 08 2016

       Oh, do stay. I find this one actually quite funny, if I'm not sure if I understand it. Is this the system that Disaster Area uses?
RayfordSteele, May 08 2016

       Wait. Wait. Hold-up.   

       The only real rule here [Gizmonic Man] is that your ideas have to be possible... unless you mean for them not to be, in which case they will be ripped apart like bleeding chum in shark infested waters.   

       The 'how' is everything.   

       The 'why'... not so much.   

       //if I'm not sure I understand it// The author is assuming that light bent around a black hole will pick up energy, analgous to a spaceship slingshot manoeuvre.
FlyingToaster, May 09 2016

       OK, maybe I'm being hasty. I thought I had a handle on the types of ideas you wanted, but I think i was wrong, so I'll recalibrate my thinking on this. Thanks, [2 frys]--I appreciate your feedback.
Gizmonic Man, May 11 2016

       [Gizmonic] you seem to be doing ok as far as I can see - consider an m-f-d a badge of honour, if this were a different site, you'd have received a "badge" for gaining that achievement.   

       As for the idea, I think it's perfectly reasonable to consider using the awesome power of a naked singularity to drive hi-fidelity audio. [+]
zen_tom, May 11 2016

       As well as the help file, I'd also suggest "Krelnik's Guide to the Halfbakery"; in return, perhaps a link to whatever bit of the Idea isn't amusing hyperbole.
FlyingToaster, May 12 2016


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