h a l f b a k e r y
"Put it on a plate, son. You'll enjoy it more."
add, search, annotate, link, view, overview, recent, by name, random
news, help, about, links, report a problem
or get an account
My experience with using the internet over smart phones has been
about 42 percent successful, meaning that 42 percent of the time
when you google something on a smart phone, you get an answer
58 percent of the time the phone blows up, freezes, stalls for
extended periods without feedback,
or a series of things that I did
not mean to happen, happen on the phone without my having
anything to make them happen. Maybe this is because I am using
Android phone, which sucks. Or maybe, and this is where the 42
percent comes in, it is because smart phones and everything else
in the capitalist world are designed to get you into the gamblin'
mood, 42 percent being the approximate odds you have of winning
money in Vegas. So in this spirit and to remind everyone that life
is a gamble and not some frickin German science laboratory, I am
proposing that smart phones have little one-armed bandit levers
on their sides that you can activate to do an Internet search, so
that you will be really excited and feel like you won something
when you actually connect, and be depressed but curiously
intrigued when your smart phone blows up, instead of, the way I
always seem to, feeling like a frustrated German scientist working
in a claptrap laboratory with a bunch of evil squirrels for lab
Please log in.
If you're not logged in,
you can see what this page
looks like, but you will
not be able to add anything.
||The answer to life, the universe, and everything is 42
||[+] ... you could have stopped at "smart phone bandit arm"
||Devices of astonishing technological sophistication that still manage to be a piece of crap. The Dougster more or less predicted that, too.
||I recently made it my personal policy to not become upset
over the failure of technology that I did perfectly well
without five years ago. It's not worth the emotional energy
when I can just set it down and go about things the way I
did it then.
||//Android truly is a pile of crap.
||Probably because the syntax is nightmarish drivel...I can write 21 pages of code in php which works and not even be able to work out how to make Android display "hello world" when I click on a button.