Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Smoke Alarm Bacon and Egg Timer

Bluetooth enabled. Of course.
  [vote for,

An egg with a tiiiny directional microwave transmitter affixed to the outside of the shell. On the opposite side of the egg, a combined receiver/transmitter.

The egg is placed in a pan of boiling water. Thermal shock kick starts the attachments. The changing density of the egg registers as a decrease in signal intensity. At a certain preset level, a signal is sent to the pan, which has a clever spring loaded base, a variation on one invented by an early twenty first century cat lover and francophile. The egg is gently lifted clear of the boiling water. (Eggs are sold graded in different preset levels, soft, hard, picnic and weapons grade). The signal also causes a local smoke alarm to blip in a mildly distracting manner.

The intelligent smoke alarm has meanwhile silently been conducting a spectral analysis of the smoke emanating from the kitchen, and has detected a high content of fresh grease. Recognising the familiar bacon signature, it awaits just the right level of contaminant before moving to the gentle but insistent blip level. A clever arrangement of stepper motors and oven cams slides the grillpan out to present the finished slices.

Perfect bacon and egg(s). Just add Ketchup.

egbert, Mar 13 2003

George Foreman Grill http://www.healthy-...com/jumbo-size.html
[angel] We're catching on. [Worldgineer, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]


       What, the bacon isn't automatically flipped? That's an automatic fishbone.
Worldgineer, Mar 13 2003


       Wait, obviously the grillpan is lined with a super reflective material which allows the underside of the slices to cook without flipping.   

egbert, Mar 13 2003

       Not really visuallizing the reflective grillpan. You're saying reflecting heat to the top of the bacon? I don't buy it - radiant heat won't do it. I could imagine using conduction. Keep talking, there may be a bun for you yet.
Worldgineer, Mar 13 2003

       Sorry, I went to bed instead.   

       Heat from the grill is reflected off the inside bottom of the grillpan (where the fat usually collects) to cook the underside of the bacon. The intensity won't be sufficient to frazzle it to the same extent as the top side, but bacon is pretty thin, so it should at least aid the cooking process. I don't see this working very well for sausages or lamb chops, though.   

       If radiant heat won't cook a piece of bacon, we'd better switch off the grill and try microwaves.
egbert, Mar 14 2003

       I still don't get it. How is the top of the bacon frazzled?
Worldgineer, Mar 14 2003

       He's cooking it in a grill pan. Because our two nations are divided by a common language, I'm not sure what this is called in US (broiler?), so I should explain that the bacon sits on a mesh grid which is positioned over a rectangular pan. The heat source, be it gas jets or electric radiants, is above this arrangement.
angel, Mar 14 2003

       Ah. My ignorance is to blame. We live in a strange and interesting world, as I have never seen such a device. What is the point of the heat source being over the food?
Worldgineer, Mar 14 2003

       It enables fat to drip off the food into the pan for disposal, rather than being absorbed into the food. This is, presumably, the very reason that it is uncommon in US.
angel, Mar 14 2003

       Bliss, I was just trying to consolidate.   

       Angel, thanks for clearing up the language problem.   

       In coming back to look at this again I can see a few holes that I'm not able to fill in. How could the density checkers best be powered? Is there some way of drawing electrical current from a pan of boiling water (heat sensitive galvanic reaction? nano-turbine?) and would sufficient power be available to transmit a signal to the smoke alarm? Why has no-one spotted that bacon is eaten with fried eggs not boiled?   

       Basie, I guess the technology is dependant on a significant change in consistency, which may not make it suitable for steaks. Cakes, maybe?   

       [edit] Or even grilled Swiss Cheese.
egbert, Mar 16 2003


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