h a l f b a k e r y
Veni, vidi, teenie weenie yellow polka dot bikini.
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How to create Snail Koans:
Begin by teaching your snails how to
This is accomplished using the reward
punishment system developed by the
Russian psychologist Ivan Pavlov. Snails
are trained using this method to
a series of obstacles, which form a
by loops and turns.
Each of the many snails learns a different
path with a tasty reward at the end of the
lesson. Deviations on the journey are
punished by tiny harmless electric shocks
that the snails learn to avoid.
Once you are satisfied that your snails
follow their path without prompting, the
second part begins.
The diet of the snails is now altered so
that their slime trail produces a colour,
with each snail producing a slightly
different hue. Everything is now ready to
create the Koans.
Random batches of snails are
simultaneously released unto a white
surface where they begin to follow their
pre-learned path, leaving distinct
trails behind them.
This trail now reveals itself to be a series
of words in script style, for each snail has
in fact learned how to spell out its own
You may now use your snails to create
Koans or generate random poetry, or
simply to make images of script patterns.
Snails suffer no ill effects during the
process of learning how to read and
Under development: Flies that do
calculus, and operatic spiders.
(?) Thanks [Lt_Frank], here it is!
Unfortunately it is down, I think that is due to lack of money if I understand correctly. I hope it will be running again soon. [zeno, Sep 12 2006]
||hello i am imaginality's slug. he hsa taught me to tpye. he likes this idea so do i. hve a bun. p.s. sorry he hasnot taught me to use caps yet.
||And I thought dot-matrix printers were slow.
||Not to be confused with nail scones, which are entirely different.
||...or flocking snail cones, which is just kind of cruel.
||[Lt_Frank], I just finished reading the Art of War, liked it.
||[xenzag] , have a tasty quoissant, it is Art indeed.
||Now if you do not teach them anything but you have an infinite number of snails, would they produce works of literature, given enough time?
||I like the idea so + from me but I'm a bit worried that teaching snails to read and write will inevitably lead to the evolution of political awareness. I don't want to be slowly slimed to death in my sleep by a horde of revolting gastropods.
||Then don't vote conservative.