Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Space Nudity Protocol

Nudity protocol. For space.
  (+14, -2)(+14, -2)
(+14, -2)
  [vote for,

Sending things into orbit is expensive, and living in space can be hectic and stressful. Shave precious cargo ounces and save crew members' time by having everyone go nude in the comfortable living atmosphere of the ISS and the shuttle, establishing a precedent for strict pragmatism in space fashion. (Similar benefits could be realized by also selecting astronauts for lightness and compactness, shaving them before sending them up, and instructing them to spit before boarding the craft).
Monkfish, Dec 04 2000

SR-71 development synopsis http://www.dreamlan...andrew/sr71-01.html
The enema and helium tire ideas are discussed. [bristolz, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]


       Astronauts are in fact selected for lightness and compactness. I believe they're also clean-shaven, though not to reduce weight.
egnor, Dec 04 2000

       NASA TV's ratings sure would get a boost.
centauri, Dec 04 2000

       This would be dependent on voluminous Pockets for Nudists. Of course, if NASA needed those Pockets, it could surely develop them. Then we could keep Tang in them.
hello_c, Dec 05 2000

       Doesn't blood go funny places in weightlessness? Imagine the swellings.
dley, Dec 05 2000

       they would probably try it   

       bearing in mind that allthose computers that they have in Houston are just for measuring TV ratings. They dont know whats happening up there at all apart from the radios and the TV
chud, Feb 03 2001

       it would be nice to be all the women clean shaven but the men would have to keep there pornstar moustaches
edski, Feb 06 2001

       At least the women's boobs wouldn't sag in the weightlessness
fretzman, Sep 05 2001

       They might move "...all ways free," though I'm guessing that the shifting fluid might alter a female astronaut's micro-G trajectory (those of you who know, please enlighten me). Alas, I suspect that practicality would dictate at least some simple clothing that wouldn't get caught on equipment and would (like the diapers in space suits) trap the inconvenient fluids that sometimes come out of all human bodies willy-nilly (so to speak). Gotta keep such stuff out of the microcircuitry...
whatsbruin, Sep 05 2001

       Zero G causes breasts to become rounder and perkier -similar to what happens when floating in water. Breasts go up a cup size in space as they fill with fluid and the breast tissue expands.   

venomx, Jul 17 2003

       Then how would they shit their pants when the shuttle explodes?
DeathNinja, Jul 17 2003

       Eh, one of the weight-saving measures on the SR-71 Blackbird was to give the pilots a pre-flight enema. Well, it was for a few months, and then the pilots revolted. But you get the idea.
Macwarrior, Aug 17 2003

       //pre-flight enema//   

       That would be an urban legend - if you hadn't just made it up just now.   

       //having everyone go nude in the comfortable living atmosphere of the ISS//   

       Space exploration is as much about PR as anything. Imagine having an interview with an astronaught with a stiffie?
FloridaManatee, Aug 17 2003

       //Astronauts are in fact selected for lightness and compactness.//   

       That hasn't been true since the original astronaut selections. If you don't believe me, look up the specs on James Van Hoften one of the shuttle astronauts. He wasn't nicknamed 'Ox' for nothing.   

       As for having ISS astronauts go around in the nude, this is very unlikely to ever happen. Funny things happen to peoples minds after being trapped in a confined space with a few others for months at a time. A lack of clothes would hardly help matters.
madradish, Aug 17 2003

       I think what you're looking for is porn in space. This will be baked when civilians start going into space regularly, which isn't far off.
Eugene, Aug 17 2003

       //That would be an urban legend - if you hadn't just made it up just now//   

       Did you fly SR-71s? Neither did I! But I read the book by the primary designer of the SR-71. It was listed in there wih the weight- saving measures, along with filling the tyres with helium (it leaked out too fast to be any good) and hollowing out large bolts.   

       I'd like to know why you think it's an urban legend.
Macwarrior, Aug 17 2003

       Not urban legend but not true, either. Crew enemas and helium-filled tires were *jokingly* suggested by Ben Rich, a member of the SR-71 design group, in a weight-savings brainstorming meeting during the aircraft's development. Neither idea was used but the tires were filled with nitrogen.
bristolz, Aug 17 2003

       And the weight they save could go for extra styrofoam.
NotSoQuick, Sep 01 2003

       Usually on Earth, the naughty bits are located well below eye level. In a cramped 3-D habitat like the ISS zero-g environment, the mind boggles at the eye-level horizons that might swing (and bob and undulate) into view a mere few inches away... I suspect that if clothing didn't already exist before the space program, the first time someone accidentally inserted an organ in someone else's ear during a live telecast, clothing would join the invented-by-NASA list that velcro,tang and PCs are already on. Or maybe not...maybe they should give naked press conferences... For that matter, for all the money we've spent, I actually *would* like to see a naked astronautte frolicking in zero-g.
cloudface, Sep 01 2003

       Baked. Jane Fonda. Barbarella.   

       + anyways.
jonathanhowell, Sep 02 2003

       Well, not really a joke Bristolz. It got bad enough during the design phase that anyone who could save a pound got $100. The enema part... wasn't tried*. The tires were, so that wasn't a joke.   

       *Kelly Johnson, the head designer, looked at him kind of funny and told Rich that he would be promoting the idea with the pilots. It was never discussed again.
Madcat, Sep 03 2003

       "boobs in space!" +
benlevi7, Sep 03 2003

       You have problem friend ...NASA is not going to go with this idea because they are going to loose revenue from sponsorship of astro gear. The ony solution is to tatoo astronauts. Wonder what it would look like to have Coke emblazoned on your bum? Wonder if astronauts would agree. It would definetly help to distingiush A's pinky from B's when the shuttle disintegrates
karamus, Sep 04 2003

       NASA did not invent velcro.
gbleem, Mar 05 2004

       G forces with nude mixed company in space - An interesting study no doubt.
tasman, Jul 20 2004


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