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Spider Moat

Protect your home and family from the invading force!
  [vote for,

I walked into the bathroom the other morning to find an evil spider glaring up from the bath tub. It got me thinking about the bath tubs special ability for entrapping the eight-legged fiends.

New houses should have inbuilt moats with steep porcelain walls. Any invading spiders would not be able to scale the slick sides to gain access to the house.

Sure, the moat will fill with leaves, water and general nature bits; an in-built flush mechanism could help prevent this. Collected rainwater would be stored in a tank, available for general garden purposes and the flushing of the moat.

Drawbridges would obviously be needed too!
silverstormer, Mar 26 2004

Dock Spider http://www.ottertoo...e/fishingspider.htm
they laugh at moats [lintkeeper2, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]


       Ooo, I like it. Would it have to be a U (tub cross section) shaped object or would an L with the tall side toward the house be spider proof? An L shape would collect less foreign "stuff" since one side would be open. You wouldn't catch spiders (rodents, small pets, children's toys) just keep them on their side of the moat/barrier.
I'd like one with some gentle curves and contours in a color to match my house, please.
RooneDitoff, Mar 26 2004

       Also need baby scooper outers. Kids can drown in an inch of water.
oxen crossing, Mar 26 2004

       Good point, an L shape would probably work out better, but would for-go the rainwater collection...perhaps an optional design would be best...
silverstormer, Mar 26 2004

       But baby spiders fly on very light webs. How would you stop those from flying in a window?
Worldgineer, Mar 26 2004

       Intelligent detection system with active fan control? :)
silverstormer, Mar 26 2004

       Bad science - slick walls won't help one bit, even before they get dirty, simply because spiders don't get into your house solely by climbing up the walls. Baby spiders set off into the world by kiting - issuing a long silk streamer that catches the wind and hauls them into the air and off to their destiny.   

       So they'll be dropping down from the rafters, flying in through the windows, and whatever other images will give bliss the shudders.
DrCurry, Mar 26 2004

       From the title, I envisioned a moat teeming with spiders that would keep out burgulars and the like.   

       I read a story about a jewelry store that got robbed a lot. After a bit they put up a sign: "Warning: This Area Patrolled By A Tarantula!" Apparently the larceny dropped off abrubtly. And yes, they actually had a tarantula they let out of his aquarium at night.
Eugene, Mar 26 2004

       Mmmm - a spider-filled moat to drop mormons into. Good call! [+]
Letsbuildafort, Mar 26 2004

       You always have a place to "go", even when all the other bathrooms are busy, especially at house parties...
silverstormer, Mar 27 2004


When I was young we had a small rope-ladder tied to the taps to allow spiders who had fallen into the bath to climb out again. The weird thing is that I can still remember the poem which came with this rope-ladder:

The spider climbs not up the plug
For it is blocked with water
So do not wash him down again
You know you didn't orta

Just hang this little ladder out
Between the H and C taps
And watch him clamber out again
And dry eight hairy kneecaps

hippo, Mar 27 2004

       The spider army will encamp just outside your gleaming walls. You will notice their dewy webs with growing unease. Then, one day, they will mass at the gates, and scale the walls using rope ladders and streams of spider silk. You will retaliate, of course, tipping over tiny cauldrons of boiling oil on the eight-legged invaders. You will kill hundreds, but their piercing screams will just embolden the others. And soon your porcelain castle will fall to the hairy barbarians, and the alpha spider will perch on your back, his nine eyes glinting in the sun.
ldischler, Mar 27 2004

       Heh, thanks for the warning [Idischler].
silverstormer, Mar 27 2004

       How about a network of air compressors surrounding the house which forces invaders into a moat which is periodically flushed with concentrated sulfuric acid!
whatastrangeperson, Mar 28 2004

       I don't know if I agree with Dr. Curry, (and others?) who argue the ineffectiveness of this. In the house out in the woods my family moved to when I was 9, the previous owner had treated the foundation with chloridane (sp?), a really nasty bug killer. We never had a walking bug of any kind in that house for the first 10 years.
oxen crossing, Mar 28 2004

       What about dock spiders? They can walk on water.(link)..... Or how 'bout the tarantulas and black widows that hitchhike in on a bunch of bananas?
lintkeeper2, Mar 28 2004

       [oc] Let me guess - you also were also never kept up by birds singing?
Worldgineer, Mar 28 2004

       Plenty of birds. What kept me up were the crickets in the summer.   

       We tried to take the last 2 ounces of chloridane (the previous owner left it for us) to the hazmat collection center, and they looked at it and said," just take that home and put it back on the shelf. We'll all pretend you never came by."
oxen crossing, Mar 28 2004

       I think I would welcome the spiders into my house if they continue to keep down the populations of other pests that might fly over, or burrow under such a moat. I'd rather have the one creepy-crawler that makes its where-abouts well known (in its web), or the odd guest appearance in the tub, than hordes of who-knows-whats.
xrayTed, Mar 29 2004

       If you suffer with ants, then this moat is perfect (as long as the nest is on the other side of the moat, of course). I often wonder about having a house on stilts, sitting above water. But then some fish would be required to keep the mosquito population under control.
Ling, Mar 29 2004

       [ldischler] that is exactly the kind of scenario I worry about every time I come across one of Satan's eight-legged messengers of doom in the house. When I was small my dad told me you only ever get one spider in a room at once because they are territorial, but now I know he was lying! <shudder>
hazel, Mar 29 2004

       I'm with [xrayted] on this one. I don't mind spiders in my house (except when a ginormous one runs across your toes unexpectedly). I've got three in my kitchen to my knowledge. One of them (a really teeny weeny one), has somehow learned that they can get a drink when the kettle's boiling by coming down to suck the condensation off the walls when I make a cup of tea. Amazing really. I always thought they were a bit dim.
squeak, Mar 29 2004

       //[a teeny weeny spider] has somehow learned that they can get a drink when the kettle's boiling by coming down to suck the condensation off the walls when I make a cup of tea.//   

       I plan (on the day that tuits are free) to make a game with a set of amicable creatures which don't eat each other. The spider was going to drink tea. I'm glad that's true.
Loris, Aug 09 2006


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