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Steampunk Catling Gun

This may seem cruel, but guns don't feel pain.
 
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Mythbusters confirmed a steam powered machine gun did exist and they even built one from the original spec sheet. The problem was that it didn't pack enough punch to send a ball bearing flying at lethal velocity.

I submit that a ball bearing is a wholly inadequate ammunition for such an awesome weapon, when catlings are so readily available at a fraction of the cost.

I submit that a modified version of the steam machine gun could be produced with a larger bore diameter and catling discarding sabot rounds to provide much more wounding power, as well as a terrific psychological weapon against any stubborn Borg a concerned Landlord may have to evict.

The engineers at 21st Century Quest Engineering have built ours with brass tubing and polished mahogany woodgrips, and only the most fleabitten, mangy moggies will do for our discerning clientele. Order yours within the next 15 minutes and you'll receive a complimentary self-loading kit with a sabot recovery mechanism.

21 Quest, Aug 23 2012

See definition #3 http://www.thefreed...t.aspx?word=catling
[21 Quest, Aug 24 2012]

the obvious countermeasure http://www.halfbake...0ballistic_20armour
[not_morrison_rm, Aug 24 2012]

Smile and wave boys... http://sciengineer....poo-projection.html
...smile and wave. [2 fries shy of a happy meal, Aug 26 2012]

[link]






       <massive existential conflict>
.
.
<sound of arcing and flashover>
.
.
<BZZZT>
.
.
<awards bun>
.
.
<click, sputter>
.
.
<wisp of smoke>
.
<THUD>

  

       The rest is silence …
8th of 7, Aug 23 2012
  

       How do the lyrics go again?
  

       *ding-dong ...
Custardguts, Aug 23 2012
  

       Bored now.

[marked-for-deletion] cruelty.
DrBob, Aug 24 2012
  

       If you used a mixture of hardened egg-whites and sugar to form the sabots, you might also be able to squeeze in some form of cat-a-meringue pun in there as well.
zen_tom, Aug 24 2012
  

       <fizzle>
.
.
"Daisy, daaiissyy … gggiivvee … mmmmeeee … yyyooouuurrrr … " .
.
8th of 7, Aug 24 2012
  

       If you shoot at targets made from large lettering, your hits could form punctuation marks, including cat-astrophes.
pocmloc, Aug 24 2012
  

       Don't think of this as a form of cruelty to kittens. Think of it as steam-assisted adoption.
21 Quest, Aug 24 2012
  

       .
.
<spzft>
.
.
8th of 7, Aug 24 2012
  

       Lessee, Mythbusters reference...check!
  

       Steampunk technology...check!
  

       BFG weapon...check!
  

       Creative use of felines #1002...check!
  

       Obligatory Borg burn...check!
  

       License for puns (bad or otherwise)...check!
  

       OK, it looks like this idea has met all the requirements so there's just one more thing:
  

       Bun...check!
  

       <If you needed a wooden pole to clear any misfired rounds from the barrel would you call it a cat-a-log?>
Canuck, Aug 24 2012
  

       .
.
<fzshp>
.
.
<twitch>
.
.
8th of 7, Aug 24 2012
  

       Can somebody reboot the Borg? It's putting static on my radio.
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 24 2012
  

       What? couldn't hear you over the noise...hang on that's Cherenkov radiation...
  

       Strangely I was inspired by this idea to come up with Chihuahua ballistic armour, see link if you really, really must.
not_morrison_rm, Aug 24 2012
  

       and..steam and cats...could you also use this with civet cats and make a fine cappuchino at the same time?
not_morrison_rm, Aug 24 2012
  

       .
.
<shpt>
.
.
8th of 7, Aug 24 2012
  

       Morrison, are you referring to Kopi Luak? Probably. This'll probably induce defecation quite readily.
21 Quest, Aug 24 2012
  

       Idle musing leads me to wonder - if you applied compressed air to the mouth of a cat, would it produce projectile defaecation of sufficient force to be military significance?
MaxwellBuchanan, Aug 24 2012
  

       Being the firm believer in the process of elimination (pun fully intended) that I am, Maxwell, I shall immediately order my dedicated team of engineers over at 21.C.Q.E. to put your query to the test.
21 Quest, Aug 24 2012
  

       //if you applied compressed air to the mouth of a cat, would it produce projectile defaecation of sufficient force to be military significance?
  

       My god, so that's how they really make espresso, and the big, gurgly machine is just a blind...
not_morrison_rm, Aug 25 2012
  

       I posted an idea once for a contraption that does just that... injects helium into a cat's mouth at sufficient pressure to inflate the kitty, and inserted a cork into the posterior end. Don't know whatever became of it, I've emailed Jutta to inquire if it was ever deleted.
21 Quest, Aug 25 2012
  

       The idea I posted was, appropriately, titled Cat Injection Pack. Jutta deleted it.
21 Quest, Aug 26 2012
  

       //if you applied compressed air to the mouth of a cat, would it produce projectile defaecation of sufficient force to be military significance?//
  

       Doubtful.
Penguins on the other hand...
[link]
...what with their little James Bond tuxedo's and all, it's a given.
  
      
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