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Steampunk Hospital

Grind Wheelchair Gears and Pour Patients Into Them
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Introducing a hospital where copper, brass, rivets and gears are everywhere. Clunking sounds and hissing noises coming from the vents, with occasional jets of steam. Nurses decked out in full Steampunk regalia, doctors appropriately dressed complete with top hats and round eye goggles. Operating rooms that look like throwback evil scientist lairs. Full service kitchen features half-baked buns in the shape of broken gears.

Unless you want a longer stay, JUST SAY NO to the Steampunk Catheters.

(Can't shake the sensation that I'm forgetting something)

Grogster, Feb 11 2015

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       Perhaps you are neglecting to think of the fact that a lot of modern medical tech has no equivalent in the steam age. Ultrasound and MRI scans, for example (while CT scans are descendants of the first X-ray and "fluoroscope" machines, which were actually dangerous because of the magnitudes of X-ray radiation involved). Translating such modern equipment to steampunk equivalents can't work very well if there are no equivalents.
Vernon, Feb 11 2015
  

       Just fix fake gears and pipework to the casing? Isn't that what steampunk is all about?
pocmloc, Feb 11 2015
  

       There's a shoe shop near me where they have a very steampunk-looking X-ray machine - all polished wood and brass - which was originally used to shine X-rays through children's feet so you could measure what size shoes they need (it's kept as a curiosity - they don't use the machine any more).

In this hospital the word "Röntgenstrahlen" should be used instead of X-rays, because it sounds better.
hippo, Feb 11 2015
  

       "Roentgensblaster" (give or take a few umlauts). "Brainsucker 9000" for the EEG machine.
FlyingToaster, Feb 11 2015
  

       This reminds me of a few nightmares I've had. Except that there is no checking out in my dreams. Scary. Bun from me, a whole one in fact. +
blissmiss, Feb 11 2015
  

       Needs a Gothic exterior and a huge lightning rod on the roof ... [+]
8th of 7, Feb 11 2015
  

       Lots of copper might not be the worst idea, harder to keep polished than stainless, but inherently antimicrobial.   

       Lots of exposed rivets and gears, with all the tiny nooks and crannies, not so much. And they've already had to ask doctors to stop wearing ties, because they're never washed, how much worse is a top hat going to be (the goggles could probably be made autoclavable). Hospital acquired infections are already one of the leading causes of illness in the country.   

       (And yes, I know I'm taking this way to seriously).
MechE, Feb 11 2015
  

       No you're not.   

       If you were that serious you would have included the second " o " in too.
normzone, Feb 11 2015
  

       Don't be deliberately obtuse, [normz]. You know he meant //taking this way to seriously// .i. using the indicated route towards a serious intent and/or action.
pocmloc, Feb 11 2015
  

       I'm attempting to do the "language defined by usage" thing and eliminate the difference between "to" and "too". This is largely because the difference is an artificial one created arbitrarily in the late middle ages (see the German "zu" for one word with the same root covering both meanings).   

       (Also because which is which completely refuses to stick in my head, but that's another story.)
MechE, Feb 11 2015
  
      
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