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Super-reinforced hotel beds

Not for what you're thinking.
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Throughout my travels, one thing remains the same in every hotel/motel/inn. The side of the bed closest to the phone/alarm clock is always the most worn-out part of the bed. Sometimes, you can walk into a room, take one look, and visibly see the indentation on the phone side of the bed.

The reinforced bed will only be beefed up on one side. Stiffer springs and tougher structure will allow the bed springs to wear out and have the same springiness(is that a word?) as the other side.

What? You say that with the stiffer springs nobody will sleep on that side? Sure they won't. But they will sit there, and the first part of the bed they sit on is the phone side. Not to mention kids seem to enjoy jumping back and forth from one bed to the other, landing and jumping on the side next to the phone. This is why the springs are so worn out. Once the springs get worn out, it will be consistently the same springiness on both sides. Then they will sleep there. And sleep happily ever after.

destructionism, Aug 03 2004

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       Or how about this mechanical arm thingy that puts the phone on either side of the bed at random
tasman, Aug 03 2004

       [tasman] I'm working on a mechanical arm that periodically puts the person in the bed at random locations. It looks like a large metal claw.
destructionism, Aug 04 2004

       //a mechanical arm that periodically puts the person in the bed at random locations//...I like this idea much better.
Machiavelli, Aug 04 2004

       The whole mechanical arm would be way too easy and temping to manipulate into evil purposes. Thats why I like it. I could just imagine the alarm clock integrated arm throwing children around trying to wake them up.
destructionism, Aug 04 2004

       So do you also have trouble spelling Mississippi?
Machiavelli, Aug 04 2004

       [pmboy] The mattress would still have the weak springs and the indentation would reappear after a few uses, not to mention the condition of the mattress on the underside. Hotels flip the mattress when it gets cuts/stains/cigarrette burns so they won't have to buy another one. It's bad enough to imagine what kind of things happen on hotel beds to make the stains, much less sleeping on it.
destructionism, Aug 04 2004

       Problems with Ss and Ts eh? EAT USERNAME HAHHAHAHA!!
Sattamassagana, Aug 04 2004

       A friend of mine once jumped from one hotel bed to another, doing a flying elbow drop in a bit of overexuberance. He landed. He bounced up. He landed again. Then bed collapsed, the posts falling away slowly in four directions from the epicenter.   

       This was way back when on a school trip. At that very moment, a chaperone walked in, asking "You got any drugs? Any drugs?" all googly-eyed. He failed entirely to notice the super-low mattress and horizontal bits of furniture.
TerranFury, Aug 04 2004

       My fiancee' and I, each of us under 200 lbs, have broken a total of three bedframes in the process of demonstrating our amorous enthusiasm for each other. I thought this idea would address this issue.   

       Oh well.....I've taken to building my own beds. Better storage, portability, and tailored in height.
normzone, Aug 06 2004

       //tailored in height//...custom made mattresses, too?
Machiavelli, Aug 06 2004

       Frame is tailored for.....well, lets just say I took her leg length and some of my preferences into account. The mattress is four inches of foam rubber, king-sized.
normzone, Aug 06 2004

       //Better storage, portability, and tailored in height.// !! Portability! Not many times have I proceeded to purchase a bed under the merits of portability! Where are you taking this bed of yours?
Sattamassagana, Aug 06 2004

       (Norm) Finally a kindred soul. I had the same problem with hotel bed catastrophic structural failure. Can abase and deflate a body. My bed is now made out of structural steel profiles, all the jointing is precision-machined to close tolerances (all those squeacks!) and it's fully adjustable in heigth and inclination. The platform is kevlar/nomex honeycomb sandwich. And guess what, the mattress is four inches of foam rubber. Perhaps we should manufacture and sell armored beds. Imagine the quality control checks.
finflazo, Aug 07 2004

       Now THERE'S a bed you could hide under in the event of a terrorist attack. Just fit oxygen tanks and fill the honeycomb with potable water.
egbert, Aug 07 2004

       A kevlar bed, wicked. No need to fear 'You Only Live Twice' type attacks then. These being made in the US? How much does this cost?!
Sattamassagana, Aug 07 2004

       (Satta) Nah, I made it myself. It's mostly discarded aircraft materials. The hydraulic pump that moves the platform sections is from an old CASA-235 door actuator, and I can't say what cargo plane the honeycomb cames from. There are also parts from the drilling machine I used on the Ariane French rocket. One uses what one has at hand, true?.
finflazo, Aug 07 2004


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