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Synthetic Rhino Horn

Save endangered species from the stupid
  [vote for,

I can't be the first one to have thought of this right?

Stupid people are big fans of elixirs made out of the parts of endangered animals. Anything can be synthesized, so why not synthesize rhino horn and sell it to stupid people so they'll leave the real animals alone?

I'm usually against fake products taking advantage of morons, but in this case it's for the greater good.

I post this knowing full well somebody has to have thought of this before no?

doctorremulac3, Apr 04 2012

Rhinos... http://apnews.myway...0404/D9TU21IG0.html
[doctorremulac3, Apr 04 2012]

...tigers... http://blogs.landfo...chingtcm/economics/
[doctorremulac3, Apr 04 2012]

...bears. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bile_bear
Don't click this one if you've got a weak stomach. [doctorremulac3, Apr 04 2012]

BBC: Rhino horn raiders steal replicas from Tring museum http://www.bbc.co.u...ucks-herts-14693144
Stupid thieves. [hippo, Apr 04 2012]

Chinese_20medicine_20scam //I can't be the first one to have thought of this right?// Right. [spidermother, Apr 05 2012]

In the oven http://www.snopes.c...ino-horn-developed/
[notexactly, Mar 27 2017]

And yet again, the HB paves the way to the future. https://www.cnn.com...scli-scn/index.html
[doctorremulac3, Nov 10 2019]

Doctorremulac3's Rhino Rodeo https://www.shutter...ing-rhino-351249578
C'mon down padnas, bring the younguns! [doctorremulac3, Nov 10 2019]

What various zoo animals taste like. https://www.mentalf...r-zoo-animals-taste
No rhino mentioned. Hippo and elephant. Probably similar. [doctorremulac3, Nov 10 2019]

Injecting rhino horns to make them radioactive? https://www.straits...ti-poaching-arsenal
[doctorremulac3, May 24 2021]

Vietnam and China are the biggest consumers of rhino horn. https://theconversa...at-they-said-116307
I though the one single advantage of having a totalitarian fascist government was that you could tell people not to do stupid things. [doctorremulac3, May 24 2021]


       ...before no?
Is this BC or AD?
xandram, Apr 04 2012

       Just want to clarify, this would not be fake, it would be government certified actual synthesized endangered animal part. You'd appeal to the morons small sliver of intellect that understands that we really can synthesize anything these days.   

       Hell, maybe even throw in a little Viagra to make it actually do something.
doctorremulac3, Apr 04 2012

       How strange, I was thinking of way to give bears fake gall bladders about 4 hours ago. It all means nothing.
not_morrison_rm, Apr 04 2012

       I'm not so sure about the "anything can be synthesized" part. Can you back that up?
normzone, Apr 04 2012

       I too question the assertion that _anything_ can be synthesized; that smacks of Star Trek tech to me. However, if the components and ratios of a substance can be determined via mass spec, shirley there's a good chance it can be recreated in powdered form?   

       My bun has already been thrown, but I must add my compliments for this 'bake. Anything that benefits the sacred rhinoceros deserves the full gratitude of the masses.
Alterother, Apr 04 2012

       rhinos and tigers and bears... oh my.
RayfordSteele, Apr 04 2012

       Sure, everything in the universe is made of of some combination of elements from the periodic chart. Rhino horn is probably just keratin, or collagen or some kind of protein thing that could easily be duplicated. The problem you get into is that chemists usually work trying to synthesize "active ingredients". So what do you tell the chemist when you want to synthesize something that has no active ingredients? It's almost more of a problem of semantics than chemistry.   

       That being said, throw rhino horn into a mass spectrometer as suggested, find out what's in it and throw those ingredients into a display bottle with a picture of a muscular guy surrounded by hot women and call it "Rhino Horn Essence Boner Juice". Then have an official government label (because if the government say is, it must be true) that says "Contains the government certified exact same ingredients as rhino horn." The stupid get to spend their money on something stupid and no rhinos get killed. Besides, who's going to return it and say "I've still got a small wiener, this must not be pure rhino horn! I want my money back!"   

       You know, reading that BBC piece makes me think they should just load the market with actual fake molded rhino horns to glut the market and lower the price down to where it's not worth killing real rhinos. We can put a man on the moon, we can make rhino horns that will fool people stupid enough to trade in rhino horns. (And yes, I claim credit for the term "actual fake")
doctorremulac3, Apr 04 2012

       The horn of the Holy Rhinoceros is indeed mostly keratin, with a few simple carbon chains and a smattering of magical unobtainium, which gives the sacred beast his almighty powers.
Alterother, Apr 04 2012

       1) Saturate the market with fake rhino horn.
2) Create an inexpensive rhino horm test kit.
3) Sell the test kit at or below cost to corner the market on test kits.
4) Start modifying the chemistry of the test kit so it will test positive for your "actual fake" rhino horns.
5) After a while, modify the chemistry again so it will test positive for freshly harvested rhino horn as well as the "actual fakes", but will test negative on real rhino horn that has been detatched from the rhino for more than a week or two.
6) Get some false media attention about made up instances of violence among rhino harvesting poachers and dealers who are stealing real rhino horns from their associates and replacing them with fakes.
7) This seed of doubt along with the updated test kits will cause actual problems amoung poachers and dealers, reducing their effectiveness and profitability.
8) Corner the market on rhino horns with "actual fake" rhino horns sold at a premium price due to the upheaval in the normal supply chain.
9) Collect lots of money.
10) Build a very large secure compond for protection in preparation for the time when people finally catch on.
scad mientist, Apr 04 2012

       You had me at #1, but I especially like the addition of #9.
doctorremulac3, Apr 04 2012

       //everything in the universe is made of of some combination of elements from the periodic chart. Rhino horn is probably just keratin, or collagen or...//   

       Microstructure, dammit.
mouseposture, Apr 04 2012

       //I can't be the first one to have thought of this right?//   

       Spot on. I'm pretty sure that the vast majority of rhino-horn-powder and tiger todger are fake already.   

       What most people don't realize, though, is that most of the (allegedly small) population of rhinos are themselves fake.
MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 04 2012

       You know, I had thought about that. (The fake tiger todger, not the fake rhinos) Why on earth would somebody go through all the trouble and expense of procuring real rhino horn when I guarantee I can whip up a reasonable analog with material that probably costs pennies a pound? Do people know the difference? It's not like drugs where you either get high or don't. Any effect on the libido, sexual performance or manhood size is placebo effect anyway. I also doubt people have test kits.   

       You can't go to a slaughter house, get all the bull wieners and grind them up to sell as tiger dong tea? No, we're actually going to go to Africa and risk getting shot by park rangers (who will kill you over there) or arrested at the airport to bring in the real stuff.   

       Clearly there's something I'm missing about this industry.
doctorremulac3, Apr 04 2012

       //Clearly there's something I'm missing about this industry.//   

       There is. It's moved on a lot in the last couple of decades. Low sodium rhino horn, low cholesterol tiger willy, probiotic river dolphin... the market demands more these days.
MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 04 2012

       I have a simpler solution to the rhino/elephant/tiger poaching problem:   

       Step 1: anyone caught poaching endangered or protected animals will be shot in the head with a .45.   

       Step 2: there is no Step 2.   

       Were I in the position, I would do it myself. I mean that. I'm not boasting.
Alterother, Apr 04 2012

       //Step 2// reload.
FlyingToaster, Apr 04 2012

       //Anyone caught poaching endangered or protected animals will be shot in the head with a .45. //   

       Cue "Quite right too. Casseroling brings out the flavour so much better." joke.
MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 04 2012

       //Sure, everything in the universe is made of of some combination of elements from the periodic chart.// As it happens, nearly everything in the universe is _not_ made up of elements at all. Obvious examples are light and black holes, but there are many more, and collectively they outmass ordinary atomic matter.
spidermother, Apr 05 2012

       Rhino stem cells? If there's that much money in this, and there probably is, then set up a cloned rhino bits institute, part of the proceeds go to rhino conservation.
not_morrison_rm, Apr 05 2012

       // As it happens, nearly everything in the universe is _not_ made up of elements at all. //   

       The universe's primary constituent by volume is nothing, which definitely promotes your assertion.   

       // part of the proceeds go to rhino conservation //   

       Good, we're running low on ammo.
Alterother, Apr 05 2012

       Not everything is a thing. To be a "thing" people would have to commonly refer to it as such.   

       You never hear: Q- "What is light?" A-"It's that thing that comes out of a lightbulb when you turn it on."   

       Light would be more accurately referred to as "stuff".
doctorremulac3, Apr 05 2012

       //Not everything is a thing// You are hoist with your own petard. I would suggest that 'everything' is not the same as 'every thing'. By your own admission, 'everything' comprises things and non-things, including, presumably, stuff.
spidermother, Apr 05 2012

       // As it happens, nearly everything in the universe is _not_ made up of elements at all. Obvious examples are light and black holes // Luckily we have yet to discover black holes inside a rhino horn, and the light is easy enough to replace once it leaks out, so in this case I think me might be okay making the synthesized rhino horn out of just elements.
scad mientist, Apr 05 2012

       //Anyone caught poaching endangered or protected animals will be shot in the head with a .45. //

Which was almost precisely the method adopted by Richard Leakey when he was Director of Wildlife in Kenya. Poachers (defined as being "anyone in a wildlife reserve who isn't a warden") were shot, without warning. ("Almost" because I think a .303 was used.)

As to the idea, I suspect that a price premium would develop for non-synthesized product, just as one has for organic vegetables.
angel, Apr 05 2012

       There is a problem with the allure of the exotic which makes rhino horn more expensive. This kind of thing is a major problem for me as people perceive the exotic as more worthwhile than remedies which allegedly do the same thing. In a sense, there is such a thing as fake rhino horn, in two botanical forms: false unicorn root and true unicorn root: one is "genuine fake" rhino horn and the other "fake fake" rhino horn. As it happens, for the first time ever someone made an enquiry yesterday about false unicorn root, and on doing the maths i realised i couldn't justify selling if for under four gross quid a half-litre so it ain't gonna happen.   

       One thing which would definitely be an interesting approach here would be to manufacture products which are therapeutic, popular or nutritious but not veggie, such as chondroitin, from vegetable sources, particularly certain fatty acids.   

       Historically it was common for parts of mythical animals to pop up here and there like religious relics, including of course the alicorn (narwhal tusk passed off as a unicorn horn) but also gryphon claws (antelope horns i think). A few of these have hung over in linguistic terms, such as the two unicorn roots and of course dragon's blood. They are in fact very annoying because they carry a kudos which is undeserved and distorts their value. However,that presumably means they sometimes have a stronger placebo effect.
nineteenthly, Apr 05 2012

       Also a good idea would be fake shark fin for making shark fin soup out of.
hippo, Apr 05 2012

       Maybe ask whoever it is that owns the mock turtle farm if they have any ideas of branching out?
not_morrison_rm, Apr 05 2012

       I'm not sure but it seems quite likely than shark fin soup would be high in chondroitin but that was probably partly what you meant, [hippo].
nineteenthly, Apr 05 2012

       Well quite - imagine a vast, industrial cod-processing factory which takes cod and produces fishfingers. The head and bones of the cod could be converted into fertilizer but there's probably more profit for the factory in grinding up the bones, mixing them with a binding agent and manufacturing millions of fake shark fins.
hippo, Apr 05 2012

       // Which was almost precisely the method adopted by Richard Leakey //   

       Yes, and though I was a teenager at the time, my burgeoning obsession with rhinoceroses made me a huge fan of his policy. Unfortunately, he was driven out only four years later.
Alterother, Apr 05 2012

       I wonder what's responsible for the flavour of a particular meat. I've heard it suggested that it's to do with the specific combination of fat and muscle fibres, but i'd imagine proportions of compounds would be important. Presumbly red meat is saltier and higher in haemoglobin than white and maybe has more myoglobin, or the combination of triglycerides influences the taste. Probably should just Google, shouldn't I?
nineteenthly, Apr 05 2012

       Despite there being another idea up there for fake Chinese herbal stuff, I'll leave this up because it's for chemically identical, government certified rhino/tiger parts as opposed to scam rhino/tiger parts.   

       Not leaving it up because it's such an earth shattering great idea but because some of the annos are too interesting to just erase.   

       I think Jutta will probably grant some latitude on this one.
doctorremulac3, Apr 05 2012

       //chemically identical, government certified rhino/tiger parts as opposed to scam rhino/tiger parts// There are so many levels of wrongth there.
MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 05 2012

       //chemically identical, government certified// Sounds like the system for government certification of generic drugs.
mouseposture, Apr 05 2012

       //government certified//   

       Having most of the people in the government certified, while doing nothing for the rhinos, would certainly be a step forward for humanity.
not_morrison_rm, Apr 06 2012

       certified civil servant organs ?
FlyingToaster, Apr 06 2012

       //I think Jutta will probably grant some latitude on this one.//   

       Perhaps, since it's to protect endangered species, Jutta would let us GM a tiger to spout a rhino horn, a shark fin, and bear's gall bladder. (I'd add elephant tusks to the mix, but that would be crazy.)
ldischler, Apr 06 2012

       The tusks would be the easiest bit! They already have teeth and are related to sabretooths and walruses, so they seem to have a tendency already. The gall is also very probably straightforward and may already be almost identical to ursine gall. Shark fins are the most distant, but why not use a tiger shark? You could start a rumour about the claspers.
nineteenthly, Apr 06 2012

       Don't know if they got the idea from here, but I obviously support it.
doctorremulac3, Nov 10 2019

       & there I was thinking I was going to have to point out someone was channelling the BBC a couple of days behind the news.   

       Then I saw the idea date :)
Skewed, Nov 10 2019

       Now here's the problem with this I hate to say it, it won't work.   

       As soon as the fact that this is ground up horse hair gets out, the jig is up. How will they find out? Well, CNN just posted the story for one thing.   

       This has to be an exact analog created from basic elements created in the lab or it's a no go. The ground up horse hair gambit's already been exposed, it's done.   

       Come on scientiests, get it right. It's not like you're doing anything on a Friday night, you've got plenty of time. LOL.
doctorremulac3, Nov 10 2019

       //has to be an exact analog created from basic elements//   

       So we have to use keratin then? which horse hair is.. OK, I'm not getting it [perplexed look] what was the problem again?   

       Actually you don't have to actually make any, as much of the desired effect as you're likely to achieve can probably be had simply by saying you have, so, releasing an article to world media about it then.
Skewed, Nov 10 2019

       As silly as it seems, you have to make a product that sounds like real rhino horn that comes from a laboratory because the idea is to get people to buy this instead of real rhino horn. Nobody's buying horse hair if they know it's horse hair. It has to be made from scratch in the lab, it has to be sold as such.   

       Nobody's buying horse hair once they find out about it. Even if you say "It's the same." they'll say "Yea, but it's just horse hair.".   

       I know it's a bit ludicrous, but this is a social endevor, not a scientific endevor.
doctorremulac3, Nov 10 2019

       //they'll say "Yea, but it's just horse hair."//   

       Which is what you want, shirley.   

       I thought the idea was to devalue Rhino horn in the same way as you might attempt to devalue enemy currency to damage their economy by dropping oodles of forged notes over them.   

       Thus making the risk / benefit calculation for poachers less attractive.   

       For that you label it as the real deal & flood the market with it.   

       Or take the cheap option & just say you have.
Skewed, Nov 10 2019

       //I thought the idea was to devalue Rhino horn in the same way as you might attempt to devalue enemy currency to damage their economy by dropping oodles of forged notes over them.//   

       No, definitely not.
You sell it to them, through a variety of intermediaries, aiming to just undercut the opposition, ideally at a variety of points along the chain.
Then you gradually lower the price until the market is saturated and it's not worth poaching rhino. (The market may still be quite healthy at this point.)

       You may then make a press release about 'rare pink rhino horn' being twice as effective as white or black rhino horn. This also makes reference to the horn having some differences, such as colour striations. Whatever that is, it's something which is easy to do during synthesis - maybe mixing in some black horse-hair for example.
Then you can start releasing a small amount of that onto the market for a premium.
Finally you can drop the price of this to migrate as much of the market as possible onto this product, and flood the market for the boring old standard horn with the synthetic product.

       Now you have a handy revenue stream to improve research into synthetic tigerwang, or whatever else is left.
Loris, Nov 10 2019

       Couldn't have put it better myself. That's the idea, and I think it actually would be worth trying.   

       I'll add something else: Get all the most famous doctors, the United Nations, medical professions of all the countries of the world to write glowing reviews of the medicinal properties of synthetic rhino horn placebo effect.   

       Which is a real, scientifically provable thing.
doctorremulac3, Nov 10 2019

       [Loris], have you been taking those 'sales & marketing' courses my personal chemist has been offering?
Skewed, Nov 10 2019

       //lower the price until the market is saturated and its not worth poaching elephants//   

       Interesting, so to make it not worth poaching Rhinos we sell fake ivory, you've been to the Dirk Gently school of holistic reasoning haven't you.   

       Do I detect a magna cum laude of that august establishment ?
Skewed, Nov 10 2019

       Well, if you really think your way //won't work// [doc] maybe you should give my way a go anyway.
Skewed, Nov 10 2019

       Sorry, didn't make it clear, the ground up horse hair won't work, my way might. The word is out that this "imitation rhino horn" is ground up horse hair. No magical ingredients to enhance your "manhood". Here's the big difference: (cue commercial music) aaaaand narrator!   

       Doctorremulac3's Super Manhorn tm SUPERCHARGES your manhood.   

       It's the one thing rhino poachers selling weak harvested rhino horn don't want you to know about.   

       Doctorremulac3 offers a full money back guarantee: If you don't get all the chicks you want after one week, simply return the unused portion stating your name, address and phone number on our website and click on the statement: "Dear Doctorremulac3. I wish to get my money back because even after using your amazing product that both enhances and strengthens manhood, I am such a weak, pathetic pussy that women are still disgusted by me and even this awesome product that's propelled millions of real men to unheard of heights of manliness can't help me. Please refund my $19.95 so I can go buy bullets to go shoot myself."
doctorremulac3, Nov 10 2019

       Yes but the thing is ground up horse hair & Rhino horn is exactly the same thing so, perforce, anything you make in the lab will also be exactly the same as ground up horse hair.. so the same issue pertains, might as well just use the horsefair then.   

       You can lie about it (being horse hair) if you think that helps, but there's no point wasting money making artificial horse hair (aka : artificial Rhino horn) to pass off as the real deal when nature's already done it for you.
Skewed, Nov 10 2019

       //ground up horse hair & Rhino horn is exactly the same thing so// Not quite. Give me a sample of each and I could tell them apart. For one thing, I'd bet that the amino acids in horse versus rhino keratin will be somewhat different. There will be other differences too. But, in any case, both of them will have DNA from their source. Of course, at a pinch you could zap the DNA in your horse hair, and spike in some rhino DNA instead.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 10 2019

       //the thing is ground up horse hair & Rhino horn is exactly the same thing//   

       Tell the buyer that.   

       This is about perception and more specifically, the perceptions of stupid people. Hate to be cruel but anybody thinking rhino horn is going to give them any benefit is ignorant at least. Because of the weird circumstances, we would need to cater to these ignorant people to mitigate their effect on an endangered species.   

       The FDA isn't going to approve horse hair for improving manhood. They might approve psychologically enhanced placebo if the story was good enough. And if you paid them enough.   

       This would be showmanship. Some silly but harmless theater to counter another silly process but one that's deleterious to an endangered species.   

       If you'd want a bit of science behind it, and that's fair enough, call it a psychologically based plan to at least slow the trade of a product that's devastating an animal that's facing possible extinction.   

       You're not ripping anybody off, they're getting real synthetic rhino horn that does the exact same thing as real rhino horn.
doctorremulac3, Nov 10 2019

       Just buy a few of the remaining rhino horns, soak them in a nice organophosphate, then re-release them onto the market. "I took rhino horn and my dick fell off" is a great deterrent.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 10 2019

       Well, that's creative at least.   

       I'm also all for just knocking rhinos out and harvesting their horns before the poachers get to them.   

       Although they'd probably kill them for the stumps.   

       OK, last idea:   

       Rhino farms: Raise tens of thousands of rhinos just to harvest their horns. Drive the price down to say... 5 cents a pound.   

       I'd be proud to farm rhinos. Come on down to Doctorremulac3s rhino farm! Bring the kids! * Sorry, rhino rides have been discontinued.
doctorremulac3, Nov 10 2019

       //knocking rhinos out and harvesting their horns before the poachers get to them// I'm sure they do that already in some places.   

       //Raise tens of thousands of rhinos just to harvest their horns.// You didn't really think that through, doc. You are going to have a surplus of hundreds of thousands of tons of perfectly good, hamburgerable rhino meat.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 10 2019

       (taps side of head) Mmmhmm.   

       I assume it tastes like chicken. See link.   

       By the way, you get into a weird philosophical conundrum with farming animals. Is it better to let them go extinct or farm them for food?   

       I think that's a no brainer myself. Just to clarify, farm raised rhinos are OK to eat, wild poached not OK. Nor is wild braised, barbecued or baked. OK to joke about this stuff? No? OK.
doctorremulac3, Nov 10 2019

       //Interesting, so to make it not worth poaching Rhinos we sell fake ivory, you've been to the Dirk Gently school of holistic reasoning haven't you.//   

       Heh, just a braino. (now fixed)
All large quadrupeds are near as dammit to a molecular biologist.
Loris, Nov 10 2019

       And you wonder why the breeding pair of saiga antelope I sold you last summer haven't reproduced yet [snicker].   

       Best price I ever got for two neutered rams.
Skewed, Nov 10 2019

       Create the myth for an even more potent medical product additive; rhino hunter's extracted adrenalin. Start marketing and selling it at a ridiculously high price, then let the market forces take over.
xenzag, Nov 10 2019

       //Best price I ever got for two neutered rams.//   

       Oh, they wern't for breeding. I just needed the horns.
Loris, Nov 10 2019

       If you're a large mammal the best evolutionary strategies by far at the moment are to be cute, helpful, or delicious. If we just get rhinos to breed well in captivity they'll be fine.
Voice, Nov 10 2019

       Cute? ... nope.   

       Helpful? ... not noted for it.   

       Delicious? ... hmm? not really sure about this but I'll give it a try, when do you seat your first customers?
Skewed, Nov 10 2019

       If only this idea included fake tiger wang, I'd bun it.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 10 2019

       Yea, about that... I put this on my facebook page so, well, cleaned it up a bit. Lot of kids in the family. Don't want them knowing dad/uncle/grandpa uses such salty language.   

       Yea, I know. Lots of monicals dropping into brandy glasses hearing that since I know that, without a doubt, I have the most lowbrow speaking style of anybody on this website.   

       It'll be our little secret eh?
doctorremulac3, Nov 11 2019

       I think "wang" is OK. But I am often surprised at the difference in acceptability of swearing in the US versus the UK. Not taking sides, just saying it's very different.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 11 2019

       Wang is a rude word? well bugger me sideways with a rusty garden implement of unlikely dimensions! I was aware it saw occasional use as a euphemism for certain male parts women of a delicate disposition don't like to hear talked about in public, but beyond the subject matter itself that it refers to (when used as a euphemism) I'd not have given it that status, may explain Uncle Wangs difficulty in getting a visa last summer.
Skewed, Nov 11 2019

       I've always gotten along great with Brits when I was over there.   

       They didn't even mind when I talked with a British accent for some reason. (Only when I was drunk) Never been accused of mocking them, they almost seemed to appreciate it. It was like "Eh ahrite. He's knocked off the annoying California accent, er's a good lad. Almost one of us 'e is."   

       By the way, took out the lines with salty language so this thread doesn't make sense any more.
doctorremulac3, Nov 12 2019

       As long as it's not Mockney or any other obviously fake one why would anyone be offended?   

       Used to happen to me up in the counties, same on my training cadre (only one from down south & got stuffed in a barrack with Scots) 24 hours drinking & talking with a group with a (to you) strong accent & it begins to creep in.   

       How old were you, reason I ask is (for me) the effect seems to have decreased with age, pretty sure I don't do it anymore.
Skewed, Nov 12 2019

       18 I think.
doctorremulac3, Nov 12 2019

       You might find it doesn't happen so much now (or takes longer to set in) then.   

       When I was a child & in my early teens it seemed (to me) to happen in just an hour or less, by my late teens & twenties it took considerably longer between exposure to the accent & beginning to unintentionally adopt it.
Skewed, Nov 12 2019

       Weird how that works. I had to stop myself from doing that thing where some people make statements but raise the tone of their voice at the end like it’s a question? Happened after I had been exposed to someone who did this after only a few weeks? I think it sounds dumb? But it was totally unintentional?
doctorremulac3, Nov 12 2019

       //Wang is a rude word? // Not necessarily. In England, it can also mean something roughly akin to "throw", as in "'Ere, wang us that spanner, wouldjamate?"   

       Also, it is heartening to know that certain types of bamboo, as used for walking sticks and umbrella handles, are known as whangee. I have an umbrella with a whangee handle, for no other reason than that it allows me to say "whangee umbrella" from time to time.
MaxwellBuchanan, Nov 12 2019

       Has anyone considered a more direct approach? let's start a rumour that ground poacher penis has aphrodisiac properties & see what happens.. handle enough Rhino horn & it's properties sort of rub off or something.
Skewed, Nov 13 2019

       Why not just breed fast-growing rhinos ?   

       Cattle are full grown in two years. That's partly the result of selective breeding. Rhinos are just another herbivore. Farm them, sell the hide, meat, and horns. Select the ones with bigger horns, too.   

       Many, many rhinos; much money made on poor-quality grazing land; no need to kill wild rhinos. Ker-ching !   

       There's nothing special about rhinos, or elephants, or tigers. Mr. Dimwit will pay top dollar for animal part (x). Very well; sell it to him. Want a leather coat ? That was a cow, or maybe a kangaroo. Want a kebab ? That was a sheep. Want a bacon buttie ? That was a pig, which also went to make that bloke's briefcase over there.   

       Enough with the whining and hand-wringing already ! Stop moralizing and make money instead, incidentally saving the wild population and their habitat at the same time.
8th of 7, Nov 13 2019

       I know you're halfway kidding but we saved the buffalo (bison) that way.   

       Eat a rhino burger to save the rhinos?   

       You would have to make such a leap from emotion to logic to do that I don't think we're ready as a civilization. The bison thing kind of happened when nobody was looking. Plus they sort of look like cows anyway.   

       Cows also don't kill you as much as rhinos do.
doctorremulac3, Nov 13 2019

       Oh yes they do. Cows are surprisingly dangerous; they don't need to exhibit aggression (they're bred to be docile) but they're stupid, heavy and very strong. A frightened cow can easily kill a human with no malicious intent, just fear and panic.   

       // Eat a rhino burger to save the rhinos? //   

       Why not ? If humans didn't eat beef, the cow population would plummet.   

       // make such a leap from emotion to logic to do that //   

       Awww, ikkle namby-pamby humans no want save rhino by obvious sensible, above all practical, means ... convince the Japs it's better than whalemeat and the humane killer will never get a chance to cool, never mind incidentally saving all those whales too ...   

       // I don't think we're ready as a civilization. //   

       Civilization is good, you should consider trying it out
8th of 7, Nov 13 2019

       //emotion to logic//   

       Canned lion hunts with farm bred lions suffers from this, not interested myself, but when it comes to preservation of that species it's probably a more powerful tool than anything else in the arsenal & brainless idiots want to stop it..   

       The sensible move is let it carry on legally to provide the idiots who want lion bits a legal alternative taking the pressure of the wild population, tax it to pay for guards to help protect the wild population & use it as a breeding pool for reintroduction into the wild (if you want to) as needed.   

       Farm bred lions in South Africa already outnumber its wild population 4 to 1 by the way,   

       So make it illegal as some would like & bang !   

       You've reduced the South African lion population by 80%.   

Skewed, Nov 13 2019

       Or you can just make the real horns radioactive. No, I'm not kidding. (link)
doctorremulac3, May 24 2021


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