Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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strictly business
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A group of very solemn faced and official looking men/women dressed in very fancy suits with earpieces and sunglasses. On the back of these suits are the words THE LAW in bright yellow lettering. THE LAW is a government funded organization that walks the streets looking serious and, at random times, places their hand over the earpiece in an urgent fashion and stares at the nearest person for a few seconds before mumbling something into their wristwatch.

No one actually knows what THE LAW does or why they exist, but it's all very top-level important stuff.
AfroAssault, Oct 10 2001


       Will they occasionally bundle people into expensive black cars?
stupop, Oct 10 2001

       Think of the merchandising opportunities such an agency would bring to the government - "THE LAW" action figures, toy black helicopters, etc. - It'd cancel the national debt in no time.
hippo, Oct 10 2001

       I like it, but you'd have to only have one of them at a time, so he could say "I am THE LAW". The others could be the Lawettes or Law-babies.
pottedstu, Oct 10 2001

       Of course they'd be bionically altered so that one arm is about seven feet long (or perhaps the other arm would be shortened).
beauxeault, Oct 10 2001

       But Judge Dredd is THE LAW isn't he? I think there may be a big legal battle in the making.
sven3012, Oct 10 2001

       blissmiss: On reflection I'm not that brave ...
Aristotle, Oct 10 2001

       PS: Not baked where I am. You mean a group of men in scruffy uniforms who spend their time eating chips in their cars, occasionally getting out to waddle through the streets chatting about football to their colleagues? Their horses do a better job of looking serious, official and long-faced.
pottedstu, Oct 10 2001

       ...wristwatch. They are always behind you, never in front and have a tendency to partially hide themselves behind pillars. Unexpectedly, they may sprint to an unmarked car, place a red flasher on the roof and speed away. Whenever they're on the scene, a mysterious wah-wah peddled guitar and some high-hat tinkering can be heard. If one happens to be operating a video camera and THE LAW appears within frame, the zoom automatically tightens and freezes for ten seconds before resuming regular taping. "THE LAW is some bad mutha---'shut-yo-mouf'..."
iuvare, Oct 10 2001

       Is this all happening in the street where the Film Noir Home is sited?
lewisgirl, Oct 10 2001

       "Balk"? Is that supposed to be the sound a chicken makes?
egnor, Oct 10 2001

       [Aristotle] - what did you say? I gotta hear this...

[beauxeault] - I'm so glad someone said that...I intentionally didn't add that in the original text.
AfroAssault, Oct 10 2001

       blissmiss, no, I don't think so. But may I say how incredibly attractive your sister is - she can come tip back a few jars with me any time.
lewisgirl, Oct 10 2001

       I want to work for THE LAW! I'd love to chide people who ask me what I do, telling them that I'd have to kill them if they knew! I want one of those cool jackets! I'd be perfect for the task of scowling at people with a hand clapped over my ear, issuing reports into my wristwatch! In fact, I already do that; I'm just not paid for it!   

       Where do I sign up?
1percent, Oct 10 2001

       Actually, THE LAW has no friends, nor does THE LAW speak with anyone who isn't on the other end of the wristwatch, so you couldn't tell anyone you'd have to kill them. No one knows how to become THE LAW but those who are THE LAW.
AfroAssault, Oct 10 2001

       That being the case, I AM THE LAW.
thumbwax, Oct 11 2001

       Drat. That's it; I am not going to bother issuing any more citizens' arrests.   

       THE LAW won't have 1percent to kick around anymore ...
1percent, Oct 11 2001

       THE LAW kicked you around? That must have been THE LEWD, THE LAW's rival government agency, as THE LAW is rarely ever seen physically touching someone who is ever seen again.
AfroAssault, Oct 11 2001

       Forget THE LAW ... THE LEWD sounds like a much more interesting affiliation.   

       THE LEWD can freely and randomly touch anyone they wish, I presume?
1percent, Oct 12 2001

       Of course. THE LEWD is a very non-discriminating agency, and almost everyone can get in. Clothes aren't required, but if you do this you'll need THE LEWD sprayed onto your back in Army-style lettering. THE LAW, though rarely seen associating with anyone, are known to get in huge spats with THE LEWD, resulting in someone being thrown into a black Chevy Suburban with government plates. No one knows where they go, but perhaps Joe Pesci said it best:

"There's a lot of holes in the desert, and there's a lot of problems buried in those holes."
AfroAssault, Oct 12 2001

       If I never see "Bad Detective" again it'll be too soon. On a more cheerful note, my friend (mr corporate america) wore a black ballcap with his firm's name on it. I used to bust a gut, but all that ended when they went class action. Anyway, I'll be seeing you anon.
reensure, Oct 12 2001

       Bad Detective? That quote was from Casino. Or maybe it was Goodfellas...
AfroAssault, Oct 12 2001

       Casino I think AA, thats where Joe Pesci's character is buried in the desert, with his brother, alive.
The_Englishman_Abroad, Oct 12 2001

       I'm still laughing at [PottedStu]'s long faces horse joke....
CasaLoco, Sep 24 2002

       Joe Pesci's character was buried along with his brother in an Illinois cornfield because the big bosses in Chicago got subpoenaed and they wanted their own problems to go away.   

       Both of them were brutally beaten with aluminum bats, and thrown into the hole stripped to their underwear while still breathing and conscious. They were buried alive. Ginger was given spiked drugs (coke or heroine? the movie doesn't say) and allowed to O.D. DeNiro's "Jew" was given a little ranch house in San Diego where he continued to make money for the bosses through his natural gambling genius. Whores and thugs they could replace, but a money-making Jew... now that's an asset even mafia bosses can appreciate.   

       </somewhat bitter ironic tone>
justibone, Mar 27 2005


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