Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Tae Kwon Don't Even Go There

totally inspired by saxman's Stoojitsu
  (+2, -5)
(+2, -5)
  [vote for,

A martial art for the TV generation which one can watch being practised by a seemingly endless succession of experts on Jerry Springer, Jeremy Kyle and any other show that glories in human inadequacies.

It's characterised by complex and exaggerated hand movements, usually denoting some kind of displeasure, and the use of nigh-impossible to decipher patois/slang/grunting/shouting. Also, to be the true master practitioner of this arcane and deadly art, you have to be 300lbs overweight, shacked up with your ex-best friend's wife/husband/mother and be unashamed to have the whole world laugh as your fat ass gets slung around by the heavies from stage-side when you decide your going to try to haul your whale-like carcase two feet out of a creaking chair to bitchslap your ex-sister while screeching "Talk to the hand, mofo!!!!!" "Whatever!!!!!!" and "You a dead man, bitch!!!!". "Am I BOVVAAAAAHED?", "You is so wack, innit?"

Damn. I've given away some master secrets now.

Murdoch, Dec 12 2007

Uniform Barely_20legal
Instead of the robes. [theleopard, Dec 12 2007]


       You don't know me. You don't know me. I do what I want! I love this idea to death, we've been through a lot together. WHATEVER!!!!   

       Yes, you're right.
Noexit, Dec 12 2007

       I thought this would be something like Judo Know Who You're Messin' With.
Eugene, Dec 13 2007

       One of my first ideas on the Bakery was called Taekwondonut, and it was about a new self defence system using cakes and buns. I thought it was great..... it got boned into oblivion. Ha !
xenzag, Dec 13 2007

       What about Jew Jit Sue, as seen on Judge Judy.
marklar, Dec 13 2007

       Also known as American Gladiator. How long 'til "Rome" is invaded again?
RayfordSteele, Dec 13 2007

       Don't be hatin', don't be hatin'   

       whatever [+]
Custardguts, Dec 13 2007

       Whoa, is there some kind of shift in the time-custard continuum?   

       The death blow: You ARE the father.
Noexit, Dec 14 2007

       Just idle speculation on my part on a common comparison between late Roman culture before their collapse and current American culture, brought about by the reactivation of gladiators.
RayfordSteele, Dec 14 2007


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