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Taunting Noisemaker

Throwaway noisemaker that taunts shooters
  (+7)
(+7)
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Following the discussion elsewhere on taunting bad guys when they miss you...

This device is handy for those awkward shoot-out situations we all get into. Well, all those of us who are TV cops, at least.

Simply carry a pocketful of these little noisemakers, preprogrammed to respond to the sounds of gunshots with with "Ya missed me!" and other insulting remarks. When you're in a jam, shooting it out alone with a bunch of bad guys, simply turn three or four on, and toss into other hiding places well away from yourself. (For obvious reasons, the devices will not start working until five seconds after activation.)

Then the criminals will be confused and shoot in all the wrong directions, while you coolly pick them off one by one.

For best performance, hide the device in a piece of cheese and feed to a passing rat. (See "Total Recall" for simulation, albeit with a tracer rather than a noisemaker.)

[P.S. I'm not sure the best category for this: Product: Weapon: Gun: Defense does not exist.]

[P.P.S. Admins: I think this is a sufficiently different idea from the one that inspired it to warrant it's own entry. If you disagree, do let me know.]

DrCurry, Mar 13 2006

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       Will the rat threaten to bite anyone's leg off?
egbert, Mar 13 2006
  

       Heinlein, Starship Troopers:   

       "I'm a thirty second bomb! I'm a thirty second bomb! Thirty, twenty-nine, twenty-eight, twenty-seven..."
normzone, Mar 13 2006
  

       Would the noisemaker be heard from inside the stomach of a rat?
jellydoughnut, Mar 14 2006
  

       jdn - I once designed a "Stomach Radio", inspired by the ticking crocodile, after I had seen Peter Pan for the first time. No one would swallow it (it was a tad on the large size) - schoolboy antics   

       Dr Curry - In the Woody Allen film " Broadway Danny Rose" there is an hilarious shoot out sequence that take place in the storage room for the Macy's parade dirigibles. Helium gas is released causing all infected with its effects to start shouting, in high pitched hamster voices, comments like: "I'll get you - you dirty Rat". It would be worth fitting a helium release device to your Noisemaker, for the Luxury Edition range. A natural + for one of the maestros
xenzag, Mar 14 2006
  

       xen: I think that stomach noisemaker is worthy of suggestion here - we certainly have the technology for it to be quite palatable these days. In fact, if you hooked it up to Bluetooth or some similar technology, you could do all sorts of tricks. ("Listen, hon, baby just said his first word!" says mom-to-be, patting tummy in front of unsuspecting dad-to-be.)
DrCurry, Mar 14 2006
  

       DrC I'm working on a "Rat-Radio" art work. It's a rat skull with a miniature radio installed inside it, the whole thing being placed into a museum type specimen display cabinet, with the tuner on an extended, protruding stalk, and the sound playing through holes formed in the perspex cover from a pair of tiny speakers fitted to the eye sockets.   

       I'm planning on calling it: "Searching for the true meaning of everything I heard whilst living under your floorboards". I'm off work for a few days so will probably finish it.
xenzag, Mar 14 2006
  

       <Twilight Zone> I looked over the "'Tis Merely a Fleshwound Vest" and came up with this exact same thing. Then, I found you posted the exact same thing, just a few days before (I've been camping, away from the HB, in the wild. Without computers.)   

       So, bun!</TZ>   

       [normzone] Most indubitably. What about Starship Titanic? Ninety-seven, ninety-six, oh drat! You made me mess up, I've got to start ll over again!
DesertFox, Mar 16 2006
  

       df: great minds think alike, aat.
DrCurry, Mar 16 2006
  
      
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