Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Uncomfortable Silence shattering

  [vote for,

We've all been there, first date (business or personal) and the conversation dies out leaving you with nothing but background noise, and the entertainment you can get by flicking food around your plate with a fork. Well no more. These days the tactic I employ, is recording various loud noises. For example, Gun shots, plate's smashing things like that. So when things slow down........SMASH or..........BANG. Instantly something to talk about. Why not start with......SMASH, "I bet someone is in trouble". Then go into a prepared anecdote about plate smashing. Or ........BANG, "what was that?!?!!" then your prepared anecdote about gun fire. Why not make up your own noises........SPILSH. Soon all conversation will be conducted through the medium of recorded sound.
Mr Risk, May 28 2003

(?) Much More Useful http://www.amazon.c...11832414/halfbakery
...and very funny, even if you're not dating. [DrCurry, Oct 17 2004]


       I'm not sure what I mean either?
Mr Risk, May 28 2003

       So what if I have to pay for it. How dare YOU judge ME! xx
Mr Risk, May 28 2003

       Depends upon where you are. This is a very Western perspective.
Shz, May 28 2003

       If it's a first date, I would take a long uncomfortable silence to indicate pretty clearly that you're with the wrong person, whether you intend business or pleasure. Artificially removing this important measure of compatibility might result in years of poor service or marital unhappiness.
DrCurry, May 28 2003

       Why not take a natural approach and let one rip? That's sure to get the conversation going.
goober, May 28 2003

       The first words being "Check, please..."
egbert, May 28 2003

       Just refer to the "The Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Dating and Sex" - it has some useful techniques for getting out of a bad date (up to and including escaping through a bathroom window).
DrCurry, May 28 2003

       Monday night past, or Monday night coming?
waugsqueke, May 28 2003

       Oh boy, a moment of silence at last! That’s when I whip out my paperback...
pluterday, May 28 2003

       This is good... especially for people like me, who're too cool to know how to break ice ;)   

       [ + ]
joker_of_the_deck, May 28 2003

       I can't stand it when I'm talking to myself and there's one of those awkward pauses. It just makes me feel so... uncomfortable.
snarfyguy, May 28 2003

       You guys . . . just memorize a couple of halfbakery ideas and have them ready before any important date! Come on, pet starlings (you can explain what a "Starling" is and how it is different from a pigeon), electric superconducting neodymium genetically-engineered squirrel-launching cars with tailgating lights, etc. Did you think halfbakery was just meant for silent typing and web surfing? You're bound to find something to chat about on your date with all this junk.
phundug, May 28 2003

       It's a product - not a 'baker-specific tip.

*tap* Is this thing on?
thumbwax, May 28 2003

       My psychology teacher in high school said that a good way to learn about yourself (and about someone else) is to analize the topic you/someone else brings up on one of those uncomfortable silences. It's usually stuff that comes straight from your subconcious, since the person is mostly focused on getting rid of the tension. I don't know if I made this should clear, but my teacher did make it sound interesting.
Pericles, May 29 2003

       In sales, *the* rule after the pitch has been made is to *shut up*, because "The first person to speak, loses."
thumbwax, May 30 2003

       Or, in this case, "the first person to cluck like a chicken is a loser."
DrCurry, May 30 2003

       Mimes must have it rough.   

       You can ask questions, and listen.
ty6, May 30 2003

       I can cluck like a chicken
and fry me in a pan
'cause I'm a lo-ser
thumbwax, May 30 2003

       what have I done to deserve such a fate?
I realise I have left it too late.
and so its true, pride comes before a fall
I'm telling you so that you won't lose all.

       all together now...
po, May 30 2003

       [Mr. Risk], recordings of abrupt noises seems rather...uh, faint, for achieving the results you seek. Why not strap on a pair of heavy duty testicles and when the silence becomes overbearing, you'll have the balls to slam your own plate of food on the floor...
Tiger Lily, May 30 2003

       Strapped-on bravado?
Tiger Lily, May 30 2003


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