Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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The Adjustable Spaniard

Using the appropriate Dialect via GPS
  (+44, -4)(+44, -4)(+44, -4)
(+44, -4)
  [vote for,

Travelling becomes most enjoyable when you are able to enter into converstions with local people and gain an understanding and insight into their culture and psyche.

South America is a place where saying the right thing is just as important as not saying the wrong thing. With the prevalense of essentially Spanish dialects the regional differences may lead the unprepared traveller to make errors leading to disproportionate punishments, such as lengthy detainment or maybe even death.

The adjustable Spaniard will update the traveller with appropriate differences in dialect within the regions they visit via an in-built GPS. The GPS system detects the position of the traveller, the adjustable Spaniard will then create an audio output of words and/or sentences keyed into it.

This idea is ultimate transferable to any contient where different dialects are spoken, like areas of French speaking western Africa.

adamthefirstman, Mar 11 2005

The Written Version Speak_20Processing
[theircompetitor, Mar 11 2005]

Along these same lines-- iGolf. http://www.igolftec...productigolfgps.php
Find drive distances and club selections based on your current spot on a golf course. [Amos Kito, Mar 17 2005]


       Excellent name.
angel, Mar 11 2005

       B+ for spelling but full marks for title :-) Bun.
Basepair, Mar 11 2005

       you most certainly do not want to throw a spaniard in the works.
po, Mar 11 2005

       It might even help the Flemish speaking Belgians speak to each other!
Ellcohol, Mar 11 2005

       I guess it shuts down when crossing into Gibraltar. +   

       Second opinion on the spelling: C-
FarmerJohn, Mar 11 2005

       John Lennon's second book used a similar pun.
waugsqueke, Mar 11 2005

       spelling??? I didn't leave school at 11yrs of age to learn how to spell, I left to learn the art of sentence structuring - I found that tuff too!
adamthefirstman, Mar 11 2005

       I imagine that a traveller in Brazil would need a portable Portuguese.
angel, Mar 11 2005

       Every time I read the title I invision a dog, don't know why but I do?   

       The adjustable cockney spaniel?   

       Like the idea btw.
skinflaps, Mar 11 2005

       [Po], no flies on frank, you figure? [Waug], Yes I dug his book, "Happiness is a Warm Pun".
mensmaximus, Mar 11 2005

       I presume you could make a model that will convert South London English into Pirate English?
wagster, Mar 11 2005

       The Pipe French
FarmerJohn, Mar 11 2005

       Seems like allot of hi tech just to keep track of the verb cojer. (Which means either to grab or to F#@$ depending on your country, my Cuban friend will tell his Venezuelan wife to "grab the baby!" and she gets really annoyed) could also do the same between England and the states. Teach the British not to say "can I bum a fag" and teach the Americans not to call a bum bag a "fanny pack" (my apologies to any Brits who read that. In the states it's a totally mild word, really)
RBStimers, Mar 11 2005

       never, in all my born days, have I ever "bummed a fag" not ever, even when I was a heavy smoker.
po, Mar 11 2005

       Well, maybe you should, [po]. I'm feeling a bit fagged myself after reading all this.
k_sra, Mar 11 2005

       Bun for title.
Soterios, Mar 11 2005

       Love the title. +
energy guy, Mar 11 2005

       A version for India please. Nah, probably not possible. +
Shz, Mar 11 2005

       I really don't reckon anybody's used "bum a fag" to ask for a cigarette since the 1950s. Nowadays, to say that would be just as offensive over here.
david_scothern, Mar 11 2005

       bun- believably good.
etherman, Mar 11 2005

       //never, in all my born days, have I ever "bummed a fag" not ever, even when I was a heavy smoker//   

       Me either. I did occasionally poach a salmon though (salmon and trout = snout) (apparently) (though I should point out I was born very much west of the sound of Bow Bells, more in the sound of Bristol Cathedral bells)   

       Very much a bun for you adam. Nice.
hazel, Mar 11 2005

       Any and all admissions of poaching are figurative and not admissable in a court of law.
normzone, Mar 11 2005

       impressive debut [adamthefirstman]
jonthegeologist, Mar 12 2005

       hmmm... I wish it was that easy to adjust to the hundreds of dialects in spanish. In my hometown, Mexico city, there are at least 7 different dialects. Add those in the provinces (at least 30 more), the teenager lingo in each of those provinces...   

       Tough work, but good idea.
Pericles, Mar 12 2005

       <giggles> That would be super. would it also help with that %$#(%& "vosotros" form?
spacecadet, Mar 13 2005

       Muy bueno. Es in idea perfecto.
DesertFox, Mar 13 2005

       ¡Me cago en la leche! Como si fuera tan fácil descifrar el méndigo español y sus pinchemil modismos...
Pericles, Mar 13 2005

       No importada me dos cojones
zeno, Mar 13 2005

       Ew, [Pericles], that's a disgusting expression! Is that a commonly used one in Mexico or did you make it up? I'm going to remember it next time I drink milk...   

       Everytime I read the title I think of an adjustable Antonio Banderas. [+] because of that and because it's a great idea.
Machiavelli, Mar 13 2005

       Well [Mach], "Me cago en la leche (I poop in the milk)" is commonly used in Spain. Very disgusting, I agree. And my point was made: even spanish speakers (like you, Mach) won't understand some of the slang in other spanish speaking countries.   

       The idea here is good, but it's almost impossible to achieve. Even if you know literally what "Me cago en la leche" means, you might not understand when the expression is used.
Pericles, Mar 13 2005

       Yeah, [Pericles], they use "cagar" in Argentina, too, but it's not so much "poop" as it is "shit."
Machiavelli, Mar 13 2005

       And for the Middle East, with a woman's voice,   

       "The Crescent Wench"
csea, Mar 14 2005

krelnik, Mar 15 2005

       great title, charming spelling   

       Reminds me of the Babel fish, but much more intrusive and almost possible.
oxen crossing, Mar 16 2005

       And here was I thinking all this time the adjustable spaniard was a pair of tight fitting men's underwear
benfrost, Mar 17 2005

       "Adjustable Spaniard" is a great name, but "The Hitchhiker's Guide to South America" might be more marketable.
ThinkTwice, Mar 17 2005

       Remind me again what WTAGIPBAN means?   

       Fine idea, indeed and has anyone yet mentioned how nice this idea is titled? +
bristolz, Mar 17 2005

       Wasn't That A Great Idea Posted By A Newbie?   

       p.s. Adjustable Spanner in UK = Crescent Wrench in US
csea, Mar 17 2005

       For Brazil, a portable portuguese = a Portuble.   

moomintroll, Mar 17 2005

       "Hallo! My name is Inigo Montoya! You killed my father! Prepare to die!"
[thinks a moment] "Er...should I have used the Vosotros form? I mean, killing you is a formal occasion. Let me check my adjustable spaniel."
submitinkmonkey, Mar 17 2005

       Bringing Babel to the masses?
shapu, Mar 17 2005

       yes, good, like +
jonthegeologist, May 04 2007

       A british friend of mine got into some serious trouble once for suggesting that we knock up my buddy's sister...
ye_river_xiv, May 05 2007

vinny gildersleeve, May 06 2007


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