Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
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The Annual Halfbakers' Ball

Anyone could be there.
  (+15, -3)(+15, -3)
(+15, -3)
  [vote for,

On the thirty-third of Triskadember, each year, halfbakers from all over the world gather to celebrate the year that's about to be (or was, if you've secretly managed to get your FTL, tinfoil, cat'n'toast-powered spaceship to work).

There'll be [jutta] and [blissmiss],
And [xandram] and [po],
The lads, [bigsleep] and [xenzag],
And some we don't know.

And sitting, away from the girls, by the door,
Is a strange group of weirdos, across the dance floor.

[MikeD] and [MechE] and [21Q],
And [MaxwellBuchanan] and [shy Fries x 2],
And there, in the corner, with slippers and pipe,
Is dear old [8/7], having a bit of a gripe.

There's [bungston] and [Loris] and a [Toaster that Flies],
And [beanangel], who's yet to collect a few pies,
But no sign of [pertinax], [Rayford] or [lurch],
Who went instead to HB No Pants Church.

Comes there a time in the evening,
Betwixt cocktails and meal,
When there's spread quite a leavening,
Of things made of steel.

[Alterother], the welder, has been in his shed,
Working away, from designs in his head,
On fishbones and croissants, fashioned by hand,
From railway spikes, stolen, from each earthly land.

Then a quite sudden Hush! spreads,
Throughout the whole room,

[8th of 7] gets nervous, releases a fart,
That knocks out [4whom] and stops [Custardguts] heart,

A stately procession, with [jutta] in white,
Attended by [hippo] (MC for the night),
Makes its way to a lectern, fashioned from bread,
Atop a huge pile, of fishbones, smelly and dead.

So it begins, so they all get their due,
[rcarty], [theleopard] and [pocmloc] too,
And all those halfbakers who feel it's their right,
To pick up a gong on this night of nights,
We've thrown in a bone upon which you can chew.

So it is that the accolades, piscal and bun,
Are doled out to those present, 'mid laughter and fun,

For a [Midget, Akimbo], a bun off the floor,
And a sadly lost bimbo we'd all showed the door.

'Fore the dancing begins and then finally ends,
And each baker homeward, a weary way wends,

There's [calum] and [zen_tom] and even [markflynn],
And one [ytk] and young [nmrm],
And [Vernon], who's composing essays in his head,
And drinking a toast to 'bakers now dead.

And [19thly], [daseva], [AusCan], [remulac3],
It's a good night for them, and goodnight from me.

UnaBubba, May 04 2012


       Nice work.
AusCan531, May 04 2012

       By applying the formula:   

       Namecheck = Bun   

       I predict this idea will be very popular!
zen_tom, May 04 2012

       Someone... [blissmiss] I think, expressed surprise at the Custard Ball idea not being this, so I put it up.   

       I was waiting for twenty minutes this afternoon, for someone to come in and sign some documents, so I put the time to "good" use.
UnaBubba, May 04 2012

       Don't keep us in suspense. Did the warden sign your release or not?
AusCan531, May 04 2012

       As per [zen_tom],   

theleopard, May 04 2012

       Strangely, [Ubie] seems to have invited me and many others, but not himself. I suggest that, when we arrive, we check the building for concealed custard-based devices. It might also be prudent to test the food and drink on [8th] before tucking in.
MaxwellBuchanan, May 04 2012

       Everyone's at the party except
rcarty, May 04 2012

       You know what they say [rcarty], any party you are actually invited to is not worth attending.
pocmloc, May 04 2012

       Oh, it's a snip. Which is all it would have taken to prevent any of us.
UnaBubba, May 04 2012

       someone methinks [xandram] suggested it!! ok[+]
xandram, May 04 2012

       Oops! Ah, I got you early in the piece.
UnaBubba, May 04 2012

       That's okay, the real party's happening at the usual spot...
RayfordSteele, May 04 2012

       Yeah. {sniffs} We don't care. We're doing fine over here. ;-)
pertinax, May 04 2012

       'Strange group of weirdos' pretty much covers us all.
RayfordSteele, May 04 2012

       I take inception of that. Oh and I love the [UnaBubba], [xandram] collaboration. Well done, Bubbs.
blissmiss, May 04 2012

       Yeehaw! - (being not found on yonder invitation list, begins plans for a memorable crashing-of-party)
lurch, May 04 2012

       You can be my escort. You're in. Unless you prefer crashing.
blissmiss, May 04 2012

       [blissy], I was all set to go crashing - in fact, I was thinking a properly half-baked ball should have no invitees, crashers only - but I shall not pass up your offer. In fact, I'll shave and put on my tux, and everybody will think you're with Carl Sagan.
lurch, May 04 2012

       //       By applying the formula:      

              Namecheck = Bun    //   

       Don't care, I got a whole verse of my own. Unashamed bun.   

Alterother, May 04 2012

       Sorry, [lurch], you seem to forget that Triskadember 33 is also the Feast of the Pretension, at The Church of No Pants.
UnaBubba, May 04 2012

       // test the food and drink on [8th] before tucking in. //   

       We will be delighted to test the comestibles on offer. We will bring a cat for that very purpose.   

       <gloats over list of common human foodstuffs known to be toxic to cats>
8th of 7, May 04 2012

       [8th]'s fundamental eructations are merely further proof of his ability to safely consume practically anything, after 30-odd years of loitering about military installations and eating military food. I wouldn't necessarily trust the fact he can eat something without harm to mean you might safely do likewise.   

       I imagine he enjoys eating vast quantities of spotted dick and custard, for instance.
UnaBubba, May 05 2012

       I was kind of wondering why he grouped you in with the ladies. I figured there must have been something I missed, but now I'm beginning to think it wasn't me...
Alterother, May 07 2012

UnaBubba, May 08 2012

       MC Hippo is, in fact, my rapper name.
hippo, May 08 2012

       "The Hiphopappotamus" was taken.
theleopard, May 08 2012


       [xenzag]! Did it hurt?
pertinax, May 08 2012

       Funny I thought there was a whole process for that, with counseling, and medication and such.
blissmiss, May 08 2012

       Sure, if you want to do it the _long_ way.
Alterother, May 08 2012

       You can do it with a couple of bricks, if you're REALLY in a hurry.
UnaBubba, May 10 2012

       I think Triskadember is coming soon...
(I see that UnaBubba updates his profile just about a month ago.)!!Is he lurking?
xandram, Jan 26 2017

       Hey howzabout a booth at Maker Faire?
Steamboat, Jan 31 2017

       I'd just like to minute that the .5bCon 2017 in Tokyo was a complete success.   

       Attendance was 100% (me), a few ideas were mooted and voted on by 100% of the conventioneers (me) and then everyone who attended went home.
not_morrison_rm, Feb 01 2017

       //everyone who attended went home   

       Together? Scandalous!
AusCan531, Feb 01 2017

       i know...keep it under your hat..
not_morrison_rm, Feb 01 2017


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