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The Chameleon's Holy Tongue

  [vote for,

The Chameleon's Holy Tongue is a weapon, and it has only one purpose, that being the destruction of ungodly Mosquitoes. Mosquitoes are notoriously difficult to swat, but they cannot escape the speed of The Chameleon's Holy Tongue. The whole apparatus looks and operates like a sighted paint ball gun; only one that fires a retracting sticky blob.

The tongue tip is the sticky blob that is fired towards the unholy miscreant via a sharp burst of compressed air. A fine line snakes out behind it like a TOW missile. Immediately on impact, the tongue retracts rapidly back into the body of the weapon, hopefully retrieving the impish mosquito, now stuck firmly on the end of the sticky blob.

The blob is replenished inside the weapon. Retrieved mosquito is digested in an organic enzyme that can be discharged and used to water small plants at some future date. It's very good for cultivating Mandrakes.

Please note: Mosquitoes come from the Devil. They are not living beings, as we know them, but actual tiny particles of Beelzebub Himself. All examples of The Holy Chameleon's Tongue are blessed and certified by the Holy See.

I am on my annual excursion to Cargo Cult land, and there are legions of these fiendish demons to be encountered.

xenzag, Aug 21 2014

Better to shoot them down in flames. http://en.wikipedia...wiki/Mosquito_laser
[MechE, Aug 21 2014]

beekeeper suit http://4.bp.blogspo.../beekeeper-suit.jpg
[xandram, Aug 21 2014]


       Mosquitoes do not come from the devil and it's not their fault that you are going to Cargo Cult land. They are only doing their job. You can always wear a beekeeper's outfit that will keep them off your body.
xandram, Aug 21 2014

       I'm passing on your advice to the Holy Father for inquisitorial evaluation.
xenzag, Aug 21 2014

       Whilst shooting them with a laser would be good, I'm wondering if you can get clay mosquitoes, get shooting practice and work out frustrations at the same time? Pull!
not_morrison_rm, Aug 21 2014

       // skeeters need lovin' too //   

       No, they don't.   

       // Mosquitoes do not come from the devil //   

       Yes they do.   

       // They are only doing their job //   

       That would be the work of Satan, then ?   

       // inquisitorial evaluation //   

       <Jumps up and down, waving arms>   

       Us ! Us ! Please ? Can we have nice red uniforms ?   

       <Adds charcoal to brazier, checks branding irons are glowing a tasteful cherry red, sharpens nails in iron maiden, oils rack windlass>
8th of 7, Aug 22 2014

       I do understand they can carry terrible viruses, and that would be a valid excuse for killing them.
The work of Satan is always misinterpreted...
xandram, Aug 22 2014

       Who needs an excuse ?   

       "Excuses ? Hwe doan' need no steenking excuses !"
8th of 7, Aug 22 2014

       As far as I'm aware, it's been pretty much determined that you could get rid of human preying mosquitoes without significantly affecting the ecosystem (definitely the disease carrying ones, anyway).
MechE, Aug 22 2014


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