Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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The Creepy Cream Egg

grind egg contents and get creeped out
  (+8, -1)
(+8, -1)
  [vote for,

Cadbury's Cream Eggs have already began appearing in time for Easter. (actually they showed up weeks ago) These used to be a tradition with myself and my work colleagues, but since Cadburys was bought over by Kraft, we no longer buy anything they produce. (it's all far too sweet now, in keeping with the taste and ethos of their vile new parent company)

This leaves a vacancy in our craving for cream eggs, and with this in mind, The Creepy Cream Egg is born. This version of its famous, but now sadly rotten original, has one main surprise in store for those who venture to bite through the thick outer shell of chocolate covering and into the mushy interior. Inside The Creepy Cream Egg is a partly formed chicken foetus, occupying half of the yolk material. It is of course totally composed of brittle chocolate, but in a convincing manner, in order to provide some al dente crunching resistance when being eaten.

Some individuals will want to take their time and suck away the remaining yolk material to reveal the form of the chocolate chick, before munching it down. We make no comments on this type of behaviour.

Other detailed chocolate egg foetal contents are under development.

xenzag, Mar 17 2017

Different to, but about as creepy as this White_20Chocolate_2...d_20Cherry_20Center
[hippo, Mar 17 2017]

http://www.telegrap...hanging-recipe.html cheap and nasty muck as befitting their new colony owners [xenzag, Mar 17 2017]

Brix https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brix
Sugar measurements [8th of 7, Mar 18 2017]

The Chocolate Garden https://www.tripadv...ounty_Michigan.html
You have no idea how incredible they were... [RayfordSteele, Oct 31 2021]


       Tiny brittle toffee bones, crunchy skull ... [+]
8th of 7, Mar 17 2017

       The strange thing is that Cadbury's Creme Eggs are not, as far as I know, a Thing in the USA. So, it's strange that Kraft has tried to make them sweet and bland in alignment with US preferences. Perhaps their next move will be to replace the crinkled blue-and-red foil with flow wrapping.
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 17 2017

       It should be a dinosaur egg, with mini chocolate dinosaur skeleton, to encourage an interest in paleontology
hippo, Mar 17 2017

       ... velociraptors ...
8th of 7, Mar 17 2017

       Yes - and actually, a chocolate dinosaur egg containing a crunchy chocolate velociraptor skeleton should be a real product - people would buy it.
hippo, Mar 17 2017

       " Other detailed chocolate egg foetal contents are under development."
xenzag, Mar 17 2017

       We are pleased to hear that.   

       Is there any prospect of a Brontosaurs-sized* chocolate egg, maybe with a mint filling ? We realise that this may offend traditionalists, but we urge them to give it a try before criticising.   

       *A chocolate egg the size of an adult Brontosaurs, not a fiddling little egg that a Brontosaurs would lay.
8th of 7, Mar 17 2017

       //Kraft has tried to make them sweet and bland in alignment with US preferences//   

       It's not preference so much as a higher tolerance for corporate fuckery.
Voice, Mar 17 2017

       Ah, would that be the so-called "Clinton Effect" ... ?
8th of 7, Mar 17 2017

       //It's not preference so much as a higher tolerance for corporate fuckery.//   

       Actually, I think it is a preference, and it's an interesting one. Almost everything in the US tends to be sweetened to a remarkable degree. Even the bread is sweet, which is just weird, at least to a European palate - it doesn't taste of bread. Likewise any condiment from mustard to pickle is predominantly coloured, thickened sugar, with varied amounts of salt and acidity.   

       In the case of chocolate, I can see that it's more profitable to sell a sweetened vegetable fat with less cocoa, than a chocolate bar itself. But in the case of things like bread, it is surely just a matter of local preference?   

       It's curious, because America is famously a melting pot, so it's hard to see that there can be a genetic difference to account for the differences in taste. I'd be interested to know when it happened.
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 17 2017

       // a melting pot //   

       ... filled to the brim with HFCS.   

       Sweetened pickles are anathema.
8th of 7, Mar 17 2017

       //Sweetened pickles are anathema.// Really? In my wife's case it's pollen, but she carries an inhalator.
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 17 2017

       Foods became mega corporations here first. Add that to the simplistic dishes we adopted for matter of pioneering and ease of travel across wide open lands, and the more fussy sorts of cuisines and spices had to be left behind.
RayfordSteele, Mar 17 2017

       // The strange thing is that Cadbury's Creme Eggs are not, as far as I know, a Thing in the USA. So, it's strange that Kraft has tried to make them sweet and bland in alignment with US preferences. Perhaps their next move will be to replace the crinkled blue-and-red foil with flow wrapping. //   

       Cadbury Creme Eggs have been a thing as long as I can remember in the Pacific Northwest region of the USA. I've never had one that wasn't sickeningly sweet. I think I ate one a year or two ago and it seemed unchanged, but I'm not a Cadbury expert.
scad mientist, Mar 18 2017

       I did eat one recently (out of experimental curiosity) and I actually felt ill afterwards. If there is an index of sweetness, they must surely be standing on its extreme peak.
xenzag, Mar 18 2017

       // If there is an index of sweetness //   

       There is.   

8th of 7, Mar 18 2017

       Ahhh, I have a bit of bleeding bone stuck in my teeth. Nice. Extreme sweetness is, of course, in the rare food group.   

       A series of licks could be used to excavate the entombed entity which might be a lot of messy fun.
wjt, Mar 18 2017

       I always wondered what the original link of eggs to Easter was, and how it connected with Pessah the biblical Passover. Just to make things worse, Passover is actually a different holiday according to the bible, a day earlier, on the 14th of the "first month in spring-time, when a sheep is slaughtered and eaten wrapped in soft Matzah bread and bitter herbs, in a family gathering at the Seder evening, the "meal of order". The next seven days are called "Hag HaMatzoth" - the 7 day holiday of Matzah. But today, both are considered one Passover holiday.   

       Eating an egg is traditionally done by mourners after the burial of their loved ones, signifying the "roundness" of life cycles,   

       On the Seder night we eat an egg - traditionally replacing the meat sacrifice that cannot be offered with no temple, and at the same time signifying our grievances, to the ruined temple to the loss of sovereignty over the land of Israel, and to the state of exile that the Jewish people were in for many years. The eating of the egg is similar to mourning.   

       The "last meal" according to the descriptions in the "new testament" was exactly that: A Seder night.   

       But in Jewish tradition, the term "Last meal" is a used for the meal before Yom Kippur fast day, the day of otonement in the winter, and before the Tisha-B'Av fast day in memory of the ruined temple, during summertime. In the latter, there is a custom to eat an egg with ashes on it.   

       There is a strong connection between the two times: Passover night and Tisha b'Av night, each is traditionally mentioned in the other's prayers and religious practice.   

       Lastly, since bread is forbidden during the 7 days of Passover, eating eggs was a common practice. Today, its mayonnaise, egg salad, tuna and avocado on the Matza.   

       Could it be the origin of the Easter egg tradition? I'm sure historians (with no clue) differ with me on that. To see the answer open Easter Island on google maps Hit Help About while pressing the Shift button, and you may see something, don't ask me what.
pashute, Mar 21 2017

       I always imagined Easter eggs as being as relevant to Easter as Christmas trees are to Christmas, ie: not much if at all; probably something coopted from an existing practice before Christianity stumbled through, or even a commercial construct.   

       But your theory gives some context : after over a month of partial fasting, the "Easter Egg Hunt" could be just to finish off the uneaten ones.   

       Before refrigeration there seems to have been much interfaith choreography concerning market/storage/preparation of foodstuffs vis-a-vis food-related religious customs.
FlyingToaster, Mar 21 2017

From the wiki page;

       "legend says that Mary Magdalene was bringing cooked eggs to share with the other women at the tomb of Jesus, and the eggs in her basket miraculously turned bright red when she saw the risen Christ.   

       A different, but not necessarily conflicting legend concerns Mary Magdalene's efforts to spread the Gospel. According to this tradition, after the Ascension of Jesus, Mary went to the Emperor of Rome and greeted him with "Christ has risen," whereupon he pointed to an egg on his table and stated, "Christ has no more risen than that egg is red."   

       After making this statement it is said the egg immediately turned blood red."   

       Well there's my something-new for the day, and it's early here. It's gonna be a good day.   

       //legend says that Mary Magdalene was bringing cooked eggs to share with the other women at the tomb of Jesus, and the eggs in her basket miraculously turned bright red when she saw the risen Christ//   

       If that's not a metaphor, I don't know what is.
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 21 2017

       If that's a metaphor, then what is the Easter Bunny?   

       It's a simile.
MaxwellBuchanan, Mar 22 2017

       Whew, coulda been hyperbole.   

       I like the Dino-egg twist. Hey this gives me an idea.   

       + great for Halloween! ( and if I could tell Max that we do have Cadbury creme eggs in the US)
xandram, Oct 26 2021

       Ah - but they're made by Kraft so they're already a type of horror egg.
xenzag, Oct 26 2021

       ^ oh well…good ones should made by Lindt!
xandram, Oct 26 2021

       They should indeed.
xenzag, Oct 26 2021

       I’m not joking. I like Lindt, Ferrero, and Godiva chocolates, but they make wonderful confections with their chocolate, too. I googled Guittard (not ever before hearing of it) and it appears they make chocolate and chocolate chips and cocoa, but I couldn’t find any *candy* or confections. Enlighten me if you can.
xandram, Oct 29 2021

       well that’s exactly what I was saying.Guittard does not make those things, but I believe it is a good quality chocolate and if I ever see it I would give it a try. There are a lot of small hand crafted chocolate places and one in the next town from me that just make really good candies but they are not well known because they are local. those are probably the best chocolates made in the US. Small hand crafted companies.
xandram, Oct 30 2021

       There is some very good chocolate made in the USA but none of comes from the giant toxic factory companies like Kraft. Kraft made Cadburys is horrible now that it's totally overloaded with sugar. It's a cheap and nasty product only eaten by those who don't know any better.
xenzag, Oct 30 2021

       There was a chocolatier here in Michigan not far from I94 that unfortunately went out of business when they retired a few years ago that had the best truffles in the world. Imaginative flavors like rose or black pepper and such. The Chocolate Garden, they called themselves.
RayfordSteele, Oct 31 2021

       ^mmmm the Chocolate Garden sounds so heavenly!
xandram, Oct 31 2021


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