h a l f b a k e r y
Magical moments of mediocrity.
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Once upon a time, a custard colored cat,
Feeling a little lazy and looking a little fat,
Thought hed take a stroll from his cat pinball flat.
He loathed leaving his mattress,
Both hideaway and edible,
Where hed hide within a deep recess
To stuff himself with stuffing incredible.
he purred and began to drool,
Recalling pyrotechnic pool.
With his clawed, asbestos, death grip glove,
Hed pounce on blazing billiard balls from pockets or above.
And then he thought of the dot-o-mobile
That hed raced to catch a spot.
Though it lost control when it lost a wheel,
That laser dot could still not be caught.
But mostly on the felines mind
Was the yummy meal hed return to find.
Would it be gigantic Goth crunch, one great and gloomy fish flake,
Or a marshmallow mug filled to the brim with coffee croissant cake?
The cautious custard colored cat
Was equipped to roam from home
With his fur-outstanding, Van der Graaf hat,
Macho cryettes and credit comb.
He thought hed first head into town
To claw a combat mime or clown
Or win a game of human foosball
Or spray a steel drum urinal.
With well-waxed whiskers and fish waist clock,
He started his walk, but got a terrible shock
Before he had walked a city block!
With a boom, roar and swish, the custard colored cat
Was ejected from the premises by his cat ejection pack.
As he flew above the clouds, swatting bats and a flying rat,
He dreamed of the donut black hole snack hed get, if ever he got back
A cat called 'Custard' (and a dog called 'Roobarb')
Greatly theme-tuned UK kids cartoon, voiced by Richard Briers. [Jinbish, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
A cat belonging to 'Henry' (he is the colour of custard)
Another UK kids cartoon - not quite the same league of theme tune, but just as mental. Both this and "Roobarb and Custard" were made by Bob Godfrey. [Jinbish, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 21 2004]
The internet is cats morphing into croissants
As described [csea, Sep 22 2010]
||[Mr. Bubba] I think your fine verse has frightened away annotators, newbies and oldbies alike.
//has frightened away annotators, newbies and oldbies alike//
So the good annos chase the bad annos away? Charlene said, stirring what looked like a sedative into Pluters coffee.
And the oldies eat the newbies, Pluter said, seeing what shed done.
But only on Thursdays? Charlene said, handing Pluter the coffee.
You are just too smart, Pluter said. She waited for Charlene to turn around and as soon as she did, Pluter washed her croissant down with juice, ignoring the coffee.
Another croissant, Charlene said, pulling a tray out of the oven. But Pluter didnt answer. Charlene opened the kitchen door and waved at the bakery van outside. She heard the thumps of doors opening and closing as she turned back to her friend, who appeared to have fallen asleep with her eyes open.
<Charlene opens the screen door and turns on the outside light.> Kat?...Kitty Kat...Kitty! <Theres no response, so she puts down the bowl of half-n-half on the steps and shuts the door. She sits in a rocker. Whistling to herself, she rocks while she waits, a cloth bakery bag at her side. The bag is stamped with a logoit says wholebakery.com.>
||This [link] doesn't merit its own idea, but it seems appropriate here.